Elder Qualifications: Above Reproach

Would you please turn in your Bible to First Timothy chapter three, First Timothy chapter three. We are continuing in our study of eldership. This ends out being the third message in a series that only God knows how long the series will be. In 1 Timothy chapter 3, beginning in verse 1, follow along with me, please.

It is a trustworthy statement. If any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer then must be above reproach. The husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money.

He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity. But if a man does not know how to manage His household well, how will he take care of the Church of God and not a new convert so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil, and he must have a good reputation with those outside the church so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. Would you pray with me, please.

OK.

Lord, we just come before you with the time that we have and we would ask that you might multiply the time. That, Lord, you might use your word to minister effectively to those who are here this morning. Lord, we have prayed for most people here by name and we ask that you would honor that prayer, Lord, that you would minister to each and every single person here in a way that would be relevant to them. No doubt, Lord, there are going to be those who are here for whom this message is specially ordained by you, and I pray, Lord, for that person, I pray for those persons that Lord, you would illumine the eyes of their understanding, that you would give them eyes to see, that you would give them ears to hear, that you would give them faith to believe in the gospel, Lord.

I pray, Father, that you might forgive all of us for all of our sins against you. We come before you mindful that all have sinned and all have fallen short of the glory of God. We come to you, Lord, mindful of your greatness, your glory, your majesty, your excellence, Lord, and how it is that against the backdrop, Of who you are, Lord, we are left wanting, but yet, Lord, you have provided for us in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ, and we thank you, Lord, that you died on the cross in our place, receiving upon Yourself wrath so that we might receive upon ourselves unconditional.

Love, we give you thanks, we give you praise, and we would ask that the words of my mouth and the meditations of our hearts would be acceptable to you.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Over the last couple of weeks, we have been focusing our attention on the topic of elders. In the sermon delivered two weeks ago, we looked at the mark of elders, and I said that the elders must be called by God above reproach and tested. And the last week, Pastor Milton delivered a message, what everyone should know about pastors and pastoring.

We are continuing in our study on the topic of elders and eldership. We should recall that one of the marks of an elder is that he is above reproach. Please look at verse 2 with me. Verse 2, an overseer then must be above reproach.

The word must here is the Greek word day, and literally it can be translated, it is necessary. This word is first in the sentence, giving its prominence, giving it preeminence. Here. And so there is an emphatic sense in which the apostle Paul is saying to Timothy, it is necessary.

This is a must. We cannot compromise at this point. And what is it that we cannot compromise on that the overseer must be above reproach. And we learned a few weeks back that above reproach means freedom from any offensive, Or disgraceful blight of character or conduct.

And you'll recall from the text verses 2 through 7, that in terms of being above reproach, there were 4 key areas that we overviewed. We overviewed. We, we were in the airplane looking down at the forest. We're going to begin to get into the forest this morning and look at the trees.

But again, a few weeks ago, we learned that the elder must be above reproach, In the area of personal morality, verses 2 and 3, in the area of family leadership, verses 4 through 5, in the area of personal maturity as evidenced by humility, verse 6, and in terms of his reputation among the nonbelievers, we see that in verse 7. So, we're going to begin to focus on the area of personal morality. In verses 2 through 3, Paul, Provides 11 descriptions that fall under the umbrella of personal morality.

These descriptions serve both as qualifications for being an elder, as well as the standard that applies to all of God's people.

Read that passage with me, verse 2 again, an overseer then must be above reproach, and he's going to get into the area of personal morality. Number 1, the husband of One wife. Incidentally, we're going to focus our time on that particular phrase here in a little bit. The 1, the husband of one wife, 2, temperate, 3, prudent, 4, respectable, 5, hospitable, 6, able to teach, 7, not addicted to wine, 8, not pugnacious, 9, gentle, 10, uncontentious, 11, free from the love of money.

And as I indicated, this. Morning, we are going to focus our attention on this first description. The elder must be above reproach in the area of personal morality, and the first thing that he goes after here is the husband of one wife. The husband of one wife.

Literally in the Greek, this would read a one woman man. The elder brothers and sisters must be a one woman man, and Let me remind you of the fact that the elders are not called to a standard any higher than what the rest of the people of God are called to. All of the people of God are called to the same standard, OK, it's just that the elders are to be the models so that the people of God can look at their example and follow them as they follow the Lord. The apostle Paul himself says, follow me as I follow the Lord.

And so, this morning, what we're going to, focus on is this question. Here's the question. What does Paul mean? When he tells Timothy that the elder must be a one woman man, what does Paul mean when he tells Timothy that the elder must be a one woman man, and by way of extension, for all of us men who are married, we are called to be one woman men, a one woman man.

And so, what does Paul mean? Well, before we get to the answer, let me say a few things. Please note the placement here. What is the very first thing that Paul goes after, after saying he must be above reproach?

He goes after the issue of the elder's sexual and marital life. The elders sexual and marital life is, is first on this list. The apostle Paul knows that this is one of the most important things to focus my attention. On coming out of the chute.

This is, this is one of those things that gets to every elder, it gets to every person of God. This is one of those things that serves to be most relevant to the person. He comes right out of the chute and he's addressing one of those issues that so often serves as a disqualification, the issue of the elder's sexual and marital life. This is a very relevant topic to the church today.

I stumbled upon some statistics and I would ask you to listen as I read off some of these statistics. They are extremely alarming. In a CNN report, April 6, 2007, we're talking about two years ago, the CNN report stated that 70% of Christians, this would include men and women, 70% of Christians admitted to struggling with pornography in, daily lives. 70%, brothers and sisters.

In December of 2000, the National Coalition to Protect Children and Families surveyed 5 Christian campuses. Five Christian campuses were surveyed. Christian campuses were surveyed. To see how the next generation of believers was doing with sexual purity.

48% of males admitted to current pornography use. 48%, 68% of the males said they intentionally viewed a sexually explicit site at the school. A 1996 Promise Keepers survey at one of the stadium events revealed that over 50% of the men in attendance were involved with pornography within the last week of that event. In his book Men's Secret Wars, Patrick Means reveals a confidential survey of Evangelical pastors and church lay leaders.

64% of these Christian leaders confirmed that they are struggling with sexual addiction or sexual compulsion, including but not limited to the use of pornography or other secret sexual activity. Focused on the family, did a poll and in October 1st of 2003, they determined that 47% of families said that pornography is a problem in their home. 47% of families said pornography is a problem in the home. Listen to this.

According to the Internet Filter Review. At $13.3 billion the 2006 revenues of the sex and porn industry in the United States are bigger than the NFL, the NBA, and Major League Baseball combined. There is more money being spent on pornography and it illicit sexual material than there is money being spent on professional sports in America. $13.3 billion.

My understanding is that on a daily basis, there's more than 1000, there's a 1000 plus brand new pornography sites being developed for viewing over the internet. The #1 search term used at search engine sites is the word sex. Guess which word is number 4, porn or pornography, some form of that word. 3 years ago.

In another study, this study concluded that 50% of all Christian men, And 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography. Again, 50% of Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted. 34% of female readers of today's Christian Women's online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing internet porn in a recent poll. The point here is to say that it's not just a battle that men are facing, but it seems that more and more it is a battle that is creeping up on women as well.

Sad to say. One of the guys that did a lot of research here, he had done all of the research and at the end of the day, he was just blown away by it all. He was very distraught by the statistics and he said to himself, surely not my church. This is a conservative evangelical man who would assume that the people that he fellowships with are people who love, God and who are seeking to live lives of holiness.

Listen to what he said. I had a hard time believing that half the men of the church would really be accessing porn. So early 2004, I asked the church where we attended at the time if they would be willing to take a survey. They agreed, and in the survey we asked the men.

When was the last time you looked at pornography? The church was made up mostly of young families, and the idea that many of the husbands and fathers I sat next to every Sunday were dabbling in porn. I couldn't comprehend it. Surely, I thought the numbers would be lower.

It can't be half, not in my church. Of those who responded, here is what came back. 25% had viewed porn within the past month and 44% within the past 6 months. Brothers and sisters, I think it is safe to say that the issue of sexuality, sexual sin, the issue of pornography and all forms of sexual sin is an issue that must be addressed in the church from the pulpit in America.

We've got too many people that are giving themselves over to sexual sin, and they are not experiencing the freedom that God has in Christ for them. And I would venture to guess that this, this rings a bell even within the walls of this church here this morning. I would venture to guess that there is a man, there is a woman in this church for whom you're thinking, I wish I didn't have to. hear this right now.

But let me tell you that God in His grace has something that he wants to speak to you and so receive it as grace from God, knowing that through the conviction, God might use that to bring you to the place of freedom in your Christian life. And I would pray for you to that end. Brothers and sisters, God calls the church to a higher standard. He calls the church and its leaders to uphold the standard of purity.

God says to be holy, just as I am holy, and the issue of sexual sin is serious. In fact, Scripture would make it very clear that those who practice sexual sin will not inherit the kingdom of God. I don't know how to tweak that to make it sound any nicer. it, it's straightforward.

God's word is straightforward that the lake of fire is a place reserved for those who are yielding over to sexual sin. Remember before I came to the Lord, before 1991, I was addicted to sexual sin. anytime I had had a girlfriend, I would be involved in a relationship with that person and it would be sinful, and I'll never forget looking through the pages of scripture and looking for the passages related to sexual sin and every single passage I found looking for a way out, I could not find a way out.

It made it very clear and I came under conviction that God was saying to me, unless I straightened up my act, I would go to hell when I died and I experienced by God's grace, fear.

And so, I would venture to guess that in a congregation this size this morning, there may be one or two who would experience fear, but consider it grace. And so back to the question, what does Paul mean when he declares that the elder is to be a one woman man? What does Paul mean when he says that the elder, and by way of extension, all of the men of God who are married are to be one woman men? Well, number one, elders are not to be men who look lustfully at other women.

Elders are not to be. who look lustfully at other women. In Matthew 5:28, Jesus says that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. And in Job 31:1, Job says, I have made a covenant with my eyes.

How then could I gaze at a virgin? Men, elders are not to be men who look lustfully at other women. And that might be a live woman or an image of a woman. Either way, men are not to be looking at lustful, stimulating images.

Think about the internet with me for a minute. There is so much depravity that can come your way through the internet. And I would recommend some filtering service, such as Safe eyes or hedge builders. It becomes very easy without any protective mechanism for something sinful to spring up and then instantly that, that desire to look is there and you have to do battle.

Why not do all that you could to, to protect yourself from even having to have the babble? There's stuff on TV. I, I would venture to get that. There may be someone in here for whom the, the path of wisdom would be is to take your television out of your house, put it outside, go and get yourself a good solid 32 inch baseball bat, take some practice swings and then apply the bat to the television screen so that you are not tempted to look at some of the stuff that comes through the TV waves.

I am amazed at, at how easily, how easy it is to see stuff that I shouldn't be seeing on TV. it's not like I'm looking for it, but occasionally, there it is. I'm at someone's home and they've got TV on and, watching a ball game and then the commercial comes on and boom, there it is. It's like unbelievable.

We've got to be careful. We are not to be looking at women in any a lustful way. Be careful going to the beach or going to the swimming pool or workout areas, gymnasiums and whatnot. I'm not saying you can't go to these places, but what I am saying is you've got to be very guarded and very careful.

Be careful with the advertisements in the newspaper. The, the, the, the Press Enterprise, the Sun newspaper, you get these newspapers and then you, you look at some of the, the, the sections and then boom, there it is, stuff that we shouldn't be looking at, stuff that is less stimulating and God says not to look at that type of stuff. Guard your eyes. Oh, be careful, little eyes, what you see.

And guard your eyes and guard your heart against the woman who dresses in a provocative manner. Against a woman who dresses in such a way so as to show some stuff off. We've got to be very careful and women of God, let me encourage you to consider the impact you have on a man when you are not modest in your dress. Moving on to number 2, elders are not to be men who act lustfully towards other women.

We are not to be men who act lustfully towards other women. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3, we read, for this is the will of God, your sanctification. Explain it to me, Paul, that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each of how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor. 1 Thessalonians 4:4.

Each of how to possess his own vessel, your own body, and the members of your body in sanctification and in honor. Do not present your body in such a way so as to make it look like that you're having illicit thoughts towards a, a woman that you are speaking to, and it does go both ways, women, but I'm speaking primarily to men here this morning. Be careful men, that you do absolutely nothing that would hint of an interest in another person, and, and a member of the opposite sex.

Don't even go there, be careful with how you treat the relationships you have with members of the opposite sex.

Some men, and I know of these men, some men spend way too much time engaging women in deep and meaningful conversation. Be careful, this can be a huge step in the wrong direction. I don't know of anyone who has committed adultery. I don't know of any believer who has committed adultery who set his heart on doing it to begin with.

I've never heard of one. In fact, I do know of men who have committed adultery, who have divorced their wives, who have remarried. I know of these men, and what, it started innocently enough. These men, they, they develop a relationship with a woman and it's a friend.

In fact, this is a friend of their wife as well. it's a mutual friend, a good friend of the family, and they develop this relationship, they begin to talk and they talk more, and as the marriage begins to, to, to suffer some difficulties, go through some difficult times, all of a sudden the, the, the, this man's heart begins to turn this and he begins to take a little more of an interest in the woman. And before he knows that, he is living in a fantasy world and the fantasy world becomes a reality world, and he is giving him over to sexual sin.

He's committing fornication.

He's committing adultery with this person and he, I know of someone for whom this is true. He's left his wife and he married another person. And as a professing Christian, Must be very careful. There should be no hint of any sexual interest.

Be careful how you look at a woman. Be careful about the things you say to a woman. Just be careful. You want to treat women, older women as moms, younger women as sisters, and as you treat them along those lines, then you're going to be in a safer place.

You would think, man, Pastor Carlos, why in the world would you have to tell us this stuff? Isn't this no brainer stuff? Well, it should be, but unfortunately, it isn't. And that's why we have so many instances of, of adultery, even in the church.

Because we have folks that are not being wise, folks that are not being careful. Number 3, elders are not to be men who think lustfully about other women. We're not even to be thinking, we're, we're, we're not to look lustfully, we're not to act lustfully, we're not to think lustfully. Lust has no place in the life of a man of God.

I think of the passage in Philippians 4:8 where Paul says, finally, brethren, whatever is true. Whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure. Whatever is lovely, whatever is a good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8.

Let your minds meditate on these things. Meditate on the things that are reality. Meditate on the things that are true. Meditate on the things that are lovely.

Do not allow your mind to go in the direction of a fantasy world and a world of imagination. When you stop to think about it, the person who is struggling with a fantasy world is the person who is struggling with wanting to be God himself. Because in a fantasy world, you have control over the people that you are fantasizing about. And in the process, what you are doing is you're making them do, Whatever it is that you want them to do, you are playing the role of God.

You are pushing God out of the world. You are pushing reality off to the side and you're living in a world of your own imagination. And who are we to step into the shoes of God and to play his role? Elders are not to be men who think lustfully about other women.

I want to speak to our young men here for a minute. And I know young men. That you, you are growing up in a world in which purity is hard. You've got sin surrounding you.

Opportunities for sin abound. And yet God this morning is calling you to a higher standard. He's calling you to a kingdom that is bigger than your own little kingdom. He's calling you to a life of purity and holiness.

I want to encourage you young men, not to allow yourself to move in the direction of sexual sin. Think of the man after God's own heart. Think of David himself, the king of Israel, the great man of God whom the scripture says, He loved God. He was a man after God's own heart.

What happened to this great man, this great king? Innocently enough, he's on the rooftop and he looks and he happens to see accidentally possibly, he happens to see what he should not see. what? It was that one look that led eventually to adultery and to murder in his life and the sword never left his family.

Young men Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the wellspring of life. Protect your heart. Because who knows, the day might come in which the Lord would want to call you into the position, into the office of elder, and if you are not at that point a one woman man, then you will be disqualified from being able to serve the Lord in that capacity. Fourthly, Elders, this is saying things maybe a little more positively, elders are to be men who demonstrate absolute commitment to their wives.

Elders are to be men who demonstrate absolute commitment to their wives. Elders are to love their wives even as Christ loved the church. Remember Ephesians chapter 5 verses 22 to 33. Husbands, love your wives, husbands love your wives, husbands love your wives.

Elders are to be one, women, men. They are to have a heart for their wife and their. Wife alone. They are to love their wives as the Lord Jesus Christ loved the church, making her the priority relationship in their life next to their relationship to the Lord, of course.

They are to lay down their lives for their wives, they are to serve their wives, to minister to their wives, elders and men of God, married men are to view their wives as God's beautiful gift to them. And the Bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. And the man of God who is married is to receive his wife as God's gift to him. The whole package, the whole entire package, brothers and sisters, man of God.

Both the good. And the bad, and Lord willing, you are able to see more of the good than you do the bad. But the fact of the matter is, is we all who are married, we are married to sinners. wives, you are married to sinners.

I'm sure you realize that. husbands, we, we are married to sinners too. And what? Even the areas of weakness and the areas of sin, are gifts from God to us.

I can say from personal experience that God has used not just my own weaknesses in the life of my wife to help her grow in her sanctification, but he has used her weaknesses as well. He has used her sin as well in my life to, to help me to become more the man he wants me to be. I don't want to, slam my wife. She's a beautiful woman.

I thank God for her. There is so much more good than there is bad, but she's not a perfect woman. And she would be the first to admit that. And yet, even in her imperfections, the Lord uses those in my life for my good, so that I can learn.

First Corinthians 13, love is patience. Love is kind, not easily angered. Just keep no record of wrongs, etc. etc.

The food of the spirit is given the opportunity to express itself in my life, in relation to my wife, and I do this imperfectly, but by God's grace, I'm growing, learning how to be patient and kind, and all of the fruits of the Spirit. You see, elders are to cherish their wives as God's gracious provision. God has given to us our wives for His glory and for our good. Elders are to serve as the model of biblical manhood as it relates to their role as husband.

Elders are the head, and they are to effectively minister to their wives in such a way that their wives make spiritual advancements. I want to draw our attention to an illustration here. We'll take it out of the Old Testament. We'll take it out of the book of Genesis.

Let's consider Adam, Adam as the one woman man. You remember the story, God's doing all of the creative stuff and he keeps saying it is good, it is good, it is good. And all of a sudden, after God made the man, he finally says it is not good. It is what is not good, God.

It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him. And so what does God do? He causes the woman to fall.

He causes the man to fall into a deep sleep. He takes a rib out of his side and fashions from the rib the woman, and then God proceeds to bring the woman to the man. OK. God brings this woman to the man.

Before he brings the woman to the man, he helped the man to realize he had a need, as Adam's looking at the animals 2 by 2 by 2. What, what, what's up, Lord, where's mine, not animal, wife, OK? Where, where's mine? And, and, and so, God reveals that need to him.

He sleeps, gives him the woman, wakes him up, and what does Adam say? This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man, and the text goes on to say that the man and his wife were both naked without any shame whatsoever, perfect intimacy between the husband and the wife, and they were effectively mirroring the very image of God Himself in the relationship with one another. And then what does God say?

It is very good. It is very, what is very good, God? It is very good when a man looks at his wife and he sees her as the gift that she is to him. It is very good when a man receives his wife cognitively, emotionally, volitionally, and he takes Nature as his own and he seeks to minister to her in a way that is glorifying to God to where the image of God can find expression in that relationship.

That is what is very good, at least in part, that is what it is, that is very good. And so the elder, Must be a man who is passionately committed to his wife. He loves her, he cherishes her, he ministers to her, he sees her as a gift from God to himself. These are the types of men whom God would want to be serving as elders.

These are the types of men who, men who are married ought to be, and, when you are cleaving to your spouse in such a manner, guess what? The issue of lust. The sexual sin, the pornography stuff, that falls by the wayside because you are finding your satisfaction in your own wife. And that's exactly what God has in mind and that's the type of man that the one, the, the one woman man is.

And so, what does it mean to be a one woman man? By the way, Carl, I'm skipping something here, so, catch up with me, bro. What does it mean for a, to be a one woman man? Well, it means that a man is not to look, at or think lustfully toward another woman.

It means that a man is wholeheartedly committed to the one woman, only that being his wife. Single men, oh, I'm sorry. Omit that from the tape. being a one woman man is an elder qualification.

Being a one woman man touches upon the standard that God calls all believers to. Brothers and sisters, here, here's the point. There is no place for sexual lust. In the lives of God's people.

There is no place for sexual lust in the lives of God's people. Whether you are married or not, there is no place. I would venture to guess that there may be someone here who, For whom this the subject here rings a bell. there's no doubt someone here for whom you're struggling in the area of sexual sin.

Perhaps in the last week or the last month, you have looked at something that you should not have. You have thought in a direction that you should not be thinking. You have acted in a way that is dishonoring and displeasing to God. And you are here this morning convicted and you're asking yourself the question, what do I do?

I would like to offer some counsel to you. Number one, embrace the gospel. Embrace the gospel. Take a good hard long look at the cross of Calvary.

And see the Lord Jesus Christ suffering in agony on the cross. Know that the Lord Jesus Christ hung there on the cross with his hands and feet pierced through and with a crown of thorns on his brow and with blood pouring over his naked body. Know that he at the cross was receiving upon Himself. The wrath of God for sin.

Know that Christ himself said that he came not for the righteous, but for the unrighteous. He came not for the healthy, but he came for the sick. He said, I came to seek and to save those who are lost. Jesus says, come to me all who are weak.

and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. He says, all who come to me, I will in no wise cast out. And so if you find yourself struggling in the midst of sexual sin, I want to encourage you to go to Christ, to look at the cross and to know that all of your sexual sin can find forgiveness at the foot of the cross. For some of us, we have already found that forgiveness and I want to exhort you to give praise, give praise to the lamb who was slain.

So that you might be forgiven for your sins. Some of us come from backgrounds that leave a lot to be desired, but yet we have found in Christ forgiveness for our sin. I want to encourage you to give praise, to worship the Lamb of God, to worship the one slain for you. Those of you who are struggling or even wondering if you're saved, I'm just telling you, look to the cross.

Behold the cross. See Christ's suffering. Know he died on the cross for you so that you can be free from the guilt of sin and you can be free from the power that this sin has over your lives. You can be free.

You, You are in Christ free through the power of the blood and through the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, you are now enabled through the gospel to be freed, practically speaking, freed from the, the influence of lust in your life. I'm not saying perfectly, but I'm saying freedom in the sense that it's not something that has its hold on you anymore. Well, second word of counsel, 2, confess your sin to God and to others. James 5:16 tells us, confess your sin one to another, pray for one another so that you might be healed.

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. Let me encourage you. To confess your sin to God and not to God alone but to someone else. There may be someone to whom you need to confess your sin to.

There may, maybe you're a young person and you've been sinning like crazy. You've been looking at pornography. You've been doing what you shouldn't be doing. You might need to come to your parents and confess your sin and say, mom, dad, I need some help.

Confess your sin. You see, when, when, when fungus, when sin, when fungus remains in the dark, what happens to the fungus? What happens to the sin? It grows.

It grows. But if you expose that fungus to light, if you shine light on the fungus, if you, if you let the light see that fungus, what happens? It shrivels up and it dies and it is broken. Some of you need to confess your sin to someone.

Some of you need to go to your parents, maybe to your spouse, and you need to say, I have sinned. Forgive me. Thirdly, memorize relevant passages, memorize God's word. God's word is extremely powerful in helping us to, to escape the, the, the, the confinements, the bonds, the chains of sin.

So, so find relevant passages. I've got a number listed, but with the time, I'm not gonna read them off to you, but utilize God's word as a resource in your life to help you gain victory. Number 4, practice radical amputation. Practice radical amputation.

Matthew 5:29, what did Jesus say? If your eye causes you to sin, what do you do? You gouge it out. If your hands cause you to sin, what do you do?

You cut them off. If your feet cause you to sin, what do you do? You cut them off. Now, is he saying literally gouge out your eyes and cut your hands and feet off?

No, but his point is, you must, you must undertake extreme measures in order to eradicate any feeders to your sin. Remove the feeders. If it's TV, get rid of it. If it's the computer, get rid of it.

Whatever it is. If it's the place you go to, then don't go there anymore. Whatever it is that feeds into your lust, you need to seek to starve that lust to death. And unless you decide to do that, you will never experience freedom that God has for you in connection to the sin.

number 5, seek accountability. And let me encourage you, don't seek accountability from someone who's struggling just like you. You want to find someone with whom you can be accountable to, who can relate to you. They've been there, done that, but God by His grace has given them victory, and they can speak truth to you, and they can say, brother, you can be freed from the sin of lust.

I can, I know for sure because God has done it in my life. And so find someone who God has graced them with obedience in this area of life, and ask them to hold you accountable. We have men in this church for whom this is true. Number 6, rehabituate yourself onto godliness.

in Ephesians and in Colossians, we've got this principle, what do we do? We, we put off the old man, we'd be renewed in the attitude of our mind and we put on the new man. So, it's not just enough, it's not just enough to try to stop the sinning, but you've got to replace it with something right. You've got to put off, be renewed and replace it with something that is right.

put on a good habit in place of the bad habit and dehabituate yourself by rehabituation, if you will. Number 7, reflect on the reality of God. Allow the reality of who God is to go with you wherever you're at, wherever you might be tempted to struggle with sin, allow the, see, this is the reality of God. He's here right now.

He is present. And it does not matter where you go, wherever you go, he will be with you. He will be present. He is omnipresent.

That's what the Bible teaches. You cannot escape his presence. That can be a source of conviction. It can be a source of encouragement.

Encouragement that when you're struggling, he is there to help you. OK, import the reality of who God is into your thinking and make it real in your life. God is holy. The next time you're tempted to sin, to look at something you shouldn't be looking at, to do something you shouldn't be doing, note this, God is holy.

He's with you, but he is holy. And the scripture says that he cannot bear to look upon sin. So, know that he is holy and that he deals seriously with sin. sin is so serious that it demanded the sacrifice of his son at Calvary.

So that we can be forgiven for our sin. And so allow this, this perspective to impact you in your battles. Against any form of sexual sin. OK, I want to, with a couple of minutes here real quickly, give a word to those whose spouses might be struggling with sexual sin.

You're not struggling, but maybe you have a spouse who's struggling. Maybe you're a man. Is struggling. And you either know about it or you don't know about it.

I don't know, but this is a word to those whose spouses might struggle with sexual sin. Give me about two more minutes. first, realize that you have been forgiven a great debt. Realize that you have been forgiven a great debt and against the backdrop of your great debt being forgiven, secondly, be willing to extend forgiveness to your spouse.

forgive your spouse. I would also say pray for your spouse. Begin to lift them up in prayer. Pray for your spouse.

clothe yourself. Fourthly, clothe yourself in the armor of the gospel and incarnate it for your spouse. Seek to be for your spouse who Christ, For your spouse. Seek to be for your spouse who Christ has been for you yourself.

Clothe yourself in the gospel and just as you have been forgiven, so forgive. Just as you have received grace, so give grace. Just as you have received mercy, so give mercy. 5th, do not act surprised that your spouse struggles with sexual lust.

Years ago, 8 plus years ago, my wife confronted me. concerning the issue of sexual sin. And without getting into the details there, I was caught and I had to confess to her that I had been struggling, in this area of my life, that it was a struggle for me. And she did not condemn me one small bit.

She was hurt that I knew it, and it hurt me that I had hurt my wife because I was struggling with impure thoughts, but there was not one single ounce of condemnation from her towards me. And I can tell you that day was pivotal in my life. That was absolutely pivotal in my life because since then, I can honestly say that over the course of the 8 plus years, God has by His grace allowed me to enjoy a measure of success which blows my mind away. If you would have asked me before I came to Christ, would I ever be free?

I would say no way. But, By God's grace, I can say that God has granted to me a measure of freedom that causes me to be ever so thankful to him for who he is and what he has done. Number 6, be open to being a source of accountability for your spouse. My wife will regularly ask me, how are you doing?

And I, I, I appreciate that. It doesn't seem like I really need it like I did years ago but she still asks me, and I, and I would say that I still need her to be asking me because I'm not so deceived into thinking I couldn't fall. 7, ask yourself if you have made it more difficult for your spouse to not struggle with sexual lust. Ask yourself if you have made it more difficult for your spouse not to struggle with sexual lust.

You can make it hard on your spouse by being unloving. You can make it hard on your spouse by withholding yourself from your spouse because of anger or whatever. And so, ask yourself that question, and there may be other ways in which you're making it difficult. I don't know.

But, there it is, brothers and sisters, God is calling all of us to purity. And so by God's grace, may we be a church that is marked by purity, that as the world looks in, they see a people of God. Who glorify Him in their sexuality. as the ushers come forward, we're going to go ahead and pray.

get your, your offerings ready, please. I'll go ahead and pray and we'll collect, we'll collect the offering. Heavenly Father, we just thank you so much for this day. Lord, I would pray for that person who is here this morning for whom lust is a battle that you by your grace would grant that person freedom.

I pray, Lord, that that person would experience the power of the gospel. If there is more than one, I pray for those, Lord, those persons that they would experience the power of the gospel. I pray for us as men, Lord, that we would all be one, women, men, that we would be committed to our spouse and our spouse alone, that you would grant to all of us purity of heart. That we would be careful with what we allow ourselves to see and think upon and do.

Lord, give us grace and, and, and cause us to be a church marked by purity that people could say of us, that is a church full of men who are indeed one women men. I pray that you would receive the offering for your glory and for the advancement of the gospel. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.