The Power of Authentic Gospel Example & Instruction (December Seminar)

, if you guys have been reading the, the inserts, our seminar topic is gospel centered parenting, and so I'm here to introduce things. Our speaker this morning is going to be Carlos Slimtiaco speaking on authentic example and instruction. but we just wanna let right out the gate, the, the big idea for this time of teaching is to bring not just people that have little kids, not just people that have teens, but really everybody in the church is affected by parenting. You realize that?

Everybody in this room is either a parent or you have parents, right? And so parenting is something that affects everybody and some of the messages we're gonna be focusing on those that have kids still in the home, but we're also gonna be giving some information and encouragement to those that have kids that are gone out of the home you're in the empty nest syndrome and what do you do to, encourage your kids as they are moving on with their, their life in the Lord? What do you do if you're a young person.

underneath the authority of your parents and you're, you're looking for the Lord's guidance on how to respond to your, your parents.

what do you do if you're a single person, you're not married yet, but what is your role in preparing for parenting or in encouraging parents within this local body? And what do you do if you're a grandma or grandpa and your kids are just long gone and, and what is your role in this whole parenting subject? We believe that there's gonna be something for everybody this morning. We're really glad that you guys are able to come.

Again, this morning, Carlos will be speaking on authentic example and instruction. Next week, Pastor Milton will be, teaching on gospel centered discipline. And it's a really incredibly important topic, so I encourage you to come out for that. The week after that, we'll be actually breaking up into breakout sessions.

We're gonna have a session for people who have kids that are parenting young children. We have, we'll have a session for those that are parenting teens, those who are like our empty nesters or singles, and then also for young people, either singles or youth, on how do we. Honor our parents. What are some ideas on how to honor our mother and father?

Let me ask you to take out a little insert that's in your bulletin called we welcome your questions. We wanna really encourage everybody to fill out a question because this is gonna help us with our last session where we're gonna have all of our speaker panel up here and you're gonna get to ask them questions via this format. If you could write down your question here. And either hand it in to me or one of the ushers and then then on the last day of the seminar, December 31st, we're gonna get to as many of those questions as possible so.

If you would, just do that for us, that would really help us, in that part of the, the seminar. Let me mention a couple of books, before we have Carlos come up. there's gonna be several different books that we are making available to you at cost or actually a little below our cost. one is Shepherding a Child's Heart.

Many of you may already have this book, but this is one of the, the best books out there on just the total subject of parenting. And it, it's by Ted Tripp. He actually spoke here several years ago, but one of the things that we just love about this book is how that it, it sets the foundation on the gospel and that the big idea really is not merely behavior modification. It's not just how can we make sure that our kids don't, don't annoy us.

We wanna see our kids get saved and live fruitful lives for Jesus Christ and go to heaven. Amen. That's the big idea about parenting is our kids can be very well behaved and go to hell., so the big idea is we want our kids to get saved and so Shepherding a Child's Heart is a book that we have this for $10 at the book, table as you head out. Another book that we wanna make available that's more geared towards parents with teens and it's also geared towards teens themselves, it's called Growing Up Christian.

And this is an excellent resource. What do you, what do you do with those kids that they've grown up hearing the gospel their whole lives and it's just not so amazing to them? this book will help teens see their need for the gospel, their need for a savior, and their need to own their own faith, not just to depend upon their parents' faith, but to realize that they've got to embrace Christ for themselves. And again, this is $10.

It's a great book. If we run out, these things are online, all we did was go to Amazon.com, something you can do, but we just want to have them here for you. So that you could pick them up right after the seminar. And the last book that we wanna make available, this is, is, is a devotion book.

It's called Leading Little Ones to God and while it is designed for smaller children like 3 to 8, I find that my wife and I get a lot out of it and I would say that even teens would get a lot out of this book. It's basically a systematic theology that's written in really understandable terms for young people. It takes you through a theology, it takes you through a scripture reading, and then you have a, a, a hymn that you sing together as a family. And then there's a prayer to recite.

One of the things I love about the prayers is it teaches our children how to pray. when I leave Joshua and Anna just to pray for by themselves, they do the best they can, but it's normally like, Help me get lots of presents for Christmas and things like that where I want them to really learn how to to engage their Heavenly Father in prayer and this helps them to learn how to speak to the Lord, prayers of substance, things that really matter for eternity. And so I'd highly recommend this.

This is $15.

These are great, great books. Lastly, I just wanna encourage you, we have, we, we only advertised this class 2 weeks and that's entirely my fault, but I wanna encourage you to invite everybody to this class. my desire is that every single person in the church would be at the seminar because it doesn't matter if you have kids or not, we all of us need to hear the material that we're gonna be, discussing. This morning.

With that being said, let's open in prayer. We're gonna pray for Pastor Carlos as he comes to bless us with our first message. Let's pray. Lord, we thank you for this time to be in your presence.

And Lord, we all acknowledge, that we, each of us in this room are sinners in need of a savior. And Lord, I just pray for each parent here this morning, those that have parents in the home, those who have have kids in the home, those who have kids that are moved out. Lord, each one of us, no matter how long we've been doing this, need to be reminded of these things. We need to be reminded of the gospel and Lord, there isn't one perfect parent in this auditorium.

but you have given us your word in order that we would be instructed that we would be able to look into the wonderful mirror of your word and by your spirit walk away changed. And Lord, we ask that this would not just be a time for us to hear nice words and messages and say what a nice message, but we would walk away, making grace wrought changes in our lives. We pray, Father, that our church would be a church filled with gospel centered parents with children that understand the goal that their parents have for their lives, and that we would be helping each other achieve this goal in the lives of all of our young people and we thank you in the name of Jesus.

Amen.

Why don't you guys welcome Pastor Carlos Limtiaco. Well, good morning. let me just say at the onset that, There's just a part of me that wants to laugh at this opportunity that I have to share with you on this given topic. I don't come to you as an expert who pretends to know everything as a parent, I see the Lord doing some good stuff and I also see ways in which there's room for improvement.

there's been a lot of. stuff that the Lord has revealed to me about me in this process of me trying to be a daddy. And so I don't come as an expert. I was not raised with Christian parents, far from it.

And so even in my upbringing there was never an example for me to look up to so that now that I am a father I can draw from that I don't have any of, of that my experience is limited. My wife and I together have Andrew, Emma, and Caleb, 86, and 1.5, and so, in, in a sense, if you've got teenagers. I'm not there yet and you're probably, years ahead of me. nevertheless, I do think that, some of what I have to say, a lot of what I have to say will be applicable regardless of the age of the children.

I would also hasten to say, as Milton shared last week about, his failures as a husband, I would echo the sentiment by saying that. just my own sinfulness as a man, as a husband, and as a father also reminds me of the fact that I have not arrived when it comes to the topic of Christian parenting. And so I speak to you as one who is a sinner however saved by grace and in his grace I stand, I stand as a sinner amazed by his grace that God would be so good so as to entrust to me the precious lives of my children.

And that he would want to use me in their lives as an instrument of his grace so that they could go on to be champions for Jesus in preparation ultimately for the day in which they will have to give an account for their lives before God that God would give to me this awesome and sobering privilege and responsibility, is amazing to me it is a blessing.

I'm amazed that that the Lord would use the experience of being daddy, in order to expose to me myself and my heart so that in the process I might learn, how to grow in clinging to the cross ever more closely and appreciating grace even more. Sensing my need, let me just take a brief minute before we jump into the meat of this stuff to pray. so please pray with me. Heavenly Father, we come before you this morning and I pray that you might use what it is that I share with my brothers and sisters here this morning.

use this as a means of grace in their lives. May we all collectively together be strengthened and edified and encouraged and built up. Lord, we pray that you would, open our. Hearts to be receptive to what you might want to say to us as it relates to this very important topic of parenting Lord I pray Father that you would by the power of your spirit speak through me and that you would impart instruction and valuable information to your people during this time Father, we praise you.

Because despite our failures, despite our sinfulness, the fact is, is that you are a God of grace, and, and you have come into this world to die for sinners such as ourselves and so may we forever find hope and encouragement, Lord, in the gospel and in light of the gospel, Lord, help us to press on. as parents, and as people who would just simply want to be a blessing to children, we pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ. amen. Mike has already alluded to this fact, but I just wanna, reiterate again that that although this applies specifically and directly to parents, as you hear some of the things that are being said, you'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, that applies to me.

Just because you are not a parent does not mean that what is going to be. Said will not apply to you because the fact of the matter is when you consider the heart of the Lord Jesus Christ, he loves children. You see that in his ministry, he has a heart for and a passion for children. He is concerned about children.

He says, allow the little ones to come to me because such as these belong to kingdom of God. And so as a parent, we want our little ones to come to Jesus because for them belongs the kingdom of God. But even if we are not. A parent God I believe wants to use you as an instrument of His grace in the lives of little ones and if that is the case then much of what I will share should be able to find some application in your own life as you relate to little ones and as you develop a gospel-centric view of how you should be thinking about little ones, about children so this applies to everyone, I believe.

I would also say that it is definitely possible to find good literature out there in relation to Christian parenting. There is good literature. Mike has referred to some of it. another book that I would add in relation to teenagers would be the one by Paul Tripp, called Age of Opportunity.

Paul Tripp's Age of Opportunity is a really good one. However, despite the fact that there is a lot of good material out there, I would also say that there is material out there that has proven to be deficient. And here are some of the deficiencies, and I just say this so that you are aware of them so that when you read through certain materials, you'll be clued in as to what maybe some of the inherent weaknesses of some of those materials are. It doesn't mean to say that they're all totally Bad, but you just want to be aware of potential deficiencies in some of the material.

There's some stuff out there that seems to present parenting as a four-step method. If you do A, B, C, and D, then you're gonna have what you want to have thing, and it's just totally a, a, a cookie cutter method and parenting is not, it is not to be done in a cookie cutter approach. Every child is. Different, and there's a principles that apply across the board, but in terms of how those principles get fleshed out and whatnot, it may differ from child to child.

So, so be aware of the cookie-cutter approach, be aware of the material out there that focuses in on behavior, on the externals, and fails to deal with the child at the level of the heart. Mike has already referred to that. There's gonna be material out there where it'll be really good. Just what it has to say is excellent.

But there's stuff that it's not saying and not to take away from the contribution of the author to that, to what he has to say or what she has to say in reference to parenting, but we just want to be sensitive to the fact that, that, although, although so and so author says something really good, that's great, take that, but there is a bigger picture and some materials fail to give us this bigger picture. So Aware of that as you peruseuse peruse through some of the materials out there there is material out there that fails and this is a big mistake that that fails to relate sound theology to Christian parenting and we, we want our parenting to be informed by and to be influenced.

By sound theology and what by that is both biblical as well as systematic theology. And if you don't understand those terms, take Pastor Mike Berry's theology class and you'll learn about, learn all about that.

But, but there's material that does fail to connect theology to life and as a parent, what we want to do is to help our children to understand. The relationship of theology to life. Let me take this just one step further and perhaps one of the biggest weaknesses in some of the material that is out there is the failure to integrate the gospel itself into life. There is a failure, some of the materials totally ignore it, some of it just kinda assume it.

But there's, there's not a whole lot of material out there that presents to you the fact that the gospel must be central in our parenting approach, OK? The gospel must be central in our parenting approach. And so this morning, with the time that we have about 40 minutes, I will, I will seek to demonstrate that the Bible teaches. That biblical parenting, this is, this is probably if you, if you're gonna write something down, write this down, biblical parenting involves the centrality of the gospel.

Biblical parenting involves the centrality of the gospel. As it is authentically lived out, as it is authentically lived out. And communicated from the scriptures in a relevant to life manner, communicated from the scriptures in a relevant to life manner so that, so that your children might experience salvation to the glory of God. Let me read that again straight through.

I believe that the Bible teaches that biblical parenting involves the centrality of the gospel as it is authentically lived out in your life and communicated from the scriptures in a relevant to life manner. So that your children might experience salvation to the glory of God. I believe that that in a nutshell is what biblical parenting is about and let me take each of those parts and unpack them. The first one, the gospel must be central to your parenting approach, OK?

As a parent. the gospel must be central in your approach, as a husband, as a wife, as a married couple, as well as in relationship to your ministry, to your children, the gospel itself must be central. In Mark 10:45. Think about Jesus Christ Himself and his own example, and the centrality of the gospel to his own life.

Notice what Jesus says in Mark 10:45. For even the Son of Man did not come to to be served, but to serve and to give his life. Why did the Son of Man come? Jesus, why did you come?

He would say, while he was Alive on the face of this earth, I came to give my life as a ransom for many. The purpose of my life is the gospel that I might die for sinful people, that I might ransom sinners from hell and, bring them into the kingdom of my father. So that was the purpose of Jesus is, is the gospel essentially. You look at the apostle Paul and the gospel was absolutely central to Paul's approach in ministry and I am speaking to the choir.

I know Milton has unpacked this way better than I could ever hope to unpack it, but I am just saying this by way of reminder really that the gospel was central to Paul's approach in ministry. I believe that the apostle Paul start. from the gospel and every single letter he writes, every epistle that he writes, whether it is to a church group, whether it's to an individual, a pastor such as Timothy or whatnot, everything that he writes is an overflow of him being focused in on and being impacted by and understanding the centrality of the gospel for life.

What he, if you, if you look at the things that he read through his writings, everything is intimately connected to the gospel.

He's starting with the gospel, he's got these believers over here or, or maybe a believer over there and he's thinking to himself, what can I say to that person and his starting point is the gospel. And he seeks to weave the gospel into the instructions that he gives to the people to whom he is writing. And if that is the case with Paul, so also that ought to be the case with us as parents, us who are, teaching children's church or whatever, we, we should be seeking to present the gospel to the children in a relevant to life manner.

and so again, the gospel must be sent for.

The apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 15:3 says that the gospel is of first importance, and then earlier in the same book, 1 Corinthians 1:18, he, he speaks of the gospel as being the power of God. It is of first importance, it is the power of God that is essential in Christian parenting. That is essential in any ministry to any child that the gospel is central in our thinking. We must affirm the centrality of the gospel, OK?

So the Bible teaches that biblical parenting involves the centrality of the gospel. As it is authentically lived out and so gospel-centered parenting must express itself in the form of an authentic example. It is extremely important that we are the example to our children of what it is that we. Want them to become OK?

again gospel centered parenting must express itself in the form of an authentic example and scripture highlights the importance of example. I want you to consider with me just a few passages, a few passages. This is an interesting one in 2 Timothy beginning in 3:14, where Paul is writing to Timothy and notice what he says to Timothy. Timothy, you, Timothy, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them.

And that from childhood you have known the sacred writings. It is very clear that in the life of Timothy, that there were examples in his life along the way leading to this point in his life at which he is a young pastor of a church. It is obvious that he was exposed to godly examples. Earlier in Timothy, Paul refers to his grandmother and his mother.

And then eventually the apostle Paul and his comrades come along and they minister to Timothy as well. and Paul is saying to Timothy, Timothy, you have had these, these influences of grace in your life. There have been these godly people, both women and men in your lives who have had an impact on you, and he's saying. You have learned how to live out the gospel in light of what you have observed from the people that God has brought into your life.

And so the importance of an example. Philippians 3:17 Paul says, brethren, join in following my example, join in following my example. And observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in us. Paul is affirming the importance of example.

Follow my example. Observe those who are following in the pattern that you have in us. So again, the, the importance of example, Philippians 4:9, Paul says that the things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, the things that you have seen in me, that you have observed from my life. these things, he says, practice, and the God of peace shall be with you.

In 11 Thessalonians 1:5, the apostle Paul, is speaking about how he came to the Thessalonians and he says, our gospel did not come to you in word only. But also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction just as what men we proved to be among you for your sake, he's drawing attention to his example among the Thessalonians and he goes on to say. You also became imitators of us. You imitated us.

You did what you saw us doing. You imitated us. You became imitators of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much tribulation with the joy of the Holy Spirit, so that you became an example to all of the believers in Macedonia. My point, the point that I'm trying to.

Make here is the importance of example. Paul draws attention to the importance of example. 2 Thessalonians 3:7. You yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, follow our example.

2 Thessalonians 3:9 in order to offer ourselves as a model for you that you might follow our example, follow our example first. Timothy 4:12, let no one look down on your youthfulness, Paul says to Timothy, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. And then in Titus 2:7, in all things, show yourself to be an example, an example of good deeds with purity and doctrine dignified. And so clearly scripture would affirm the fact that example.

Is very important and an example to your children is very important. What are some of the key components of your example as you live your life out before your children and, and, and, and mind you your children pay very close attention to the things that you say and do and don't say and don't do. I am amazed at the things that my children remember. Things that I would have thought they would have forgotten, but for some strange reason, these little sponges soak it up and remember.

Some of the things they remember are good things, there are some things that they remember are bad things, things that I would regret that I do regret, but it's amazing how these little sponges soak it in and they're observing you. You are the pattern that God has given to them and your pattern, the pattern of your life. Must be such that you are an example to your children. Could you echo the words of Paul in relation to your own children and the attitude that you expressed in relation to your own children and how it is that you live your life?

Can you say to your little children, can I say to Andrew, Andrew, follow my example. Emma, Caleb, follow my example. Can your children, can your children follow your example? Can you say to your children, son, daughter, please follow the example, the pattern that you see in me.

Anyway, what should some of the elements of our authentic example be? Your example should include. A humble acknowledgement. Of your own sin.

And your need for the savior. Your children need to see in the heart of mommy and daddy, mom and dad, an attitude of humility, an acknowledgment that I am a sinful person in need of my savior. They need to see that in your life because your children, God willing, at some point will arrive at an understanding. I am a sinner.

And when they, when they know that mommy and daddy see themselves as sinful people too, yet they have hope they will understand that though I am a sinful person, I can have the same hope that mom and dad have they have to see in you. A humble acknowledgement of your own sin and your own need for a savior. Now externally you may really seem as if you have it together to where as, as your children look at you they might say, whoa, mom and dad, mom, dad, they have it all. I never see them do anything wrong.

And if that's the case, praise the Lord, but it would be important for you to communicate to your children how, in the deeper recesses of your heart, there are struggles that you are aware of that you are seeking to deal with. And if you don't sense within yourself the inner struggle against sin, it doesn't even have to be the things you do, but the stuff that goes on inside the heart, the attitudes, the selfishness, if you don't sense that there should be some concern because a mark of Christian maturity is an awareness of how sinful I am.

And, and as, as one grows in his or her relationship to Christ, there ought to be a growing awareness of how great God is and in comparison to his greatness, how far I have fallen short. So it's important for your children to know that you do not see yourself as some superior, but they see in your life a humble acknowledgement of your own sin.

And you need for the savior. When you speak to them, You help them to realize you see yourself that way. When you speak to friends and your, your, your kids are overhearing your conversation, they, they ought to be overhearing you on occasion say things to the effect of, I know that I am sinful, OK? Authentic example, your example should also include an obvious appreciation for the gospel.

There should be an obvious appreciation for the gospel. one of the things that my wife and I have done with, with our children, we got a hold of these books, being published through Lamplighter Publishing, and these are books that go back before the 1900s, just very good Christian-based literature, and there has not been a book that I have read to my children in which at some point during the reading of the book I began to lose it. And I just began to to break down and I start to cry and they can hear it in my voice and they can see it on my face and I remember on one occasion as I was reading this one story and the gospel is just crashing in on this story and and and it just hit me afresh and I found myself just crying pretty hard and I couldn't, I couldn't read on anymore.

And, and of course, the question is, mommy, why is daddy crying?

And that gives her an opportunity to say, Andrew, Emma, it's because of the gospel, and it gives, it gives us an opportunity to share with them, to unpack that with them. They ought to see, they ought to see, your, your example, should include an obvious appreciation for the gospel. Your children should be able to say my mom and dad, they are so thankful for and appreciative for the gospel. It is import it is of first importance in their life.

Your example should include frequent. Demonstrations of worship and praise of our glorious God. Your children should understand from your example that you have a grand view of God. They should sense from you that you are blown away by the glory and the majesty and the splendor and the holiness and the mercy and the grace and the kindness of your God.

And, and that view of God that you have ought to be such that there are regular times in which you are just drawn into praise. So that your children can see, oh, mom and dad, they love their God. Your example should include a consistent and growing demonstration of the fruit of the spirit in all of your relational dealings, the fruit of the spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control, you're not gonna be perfect. But there ought to be a pattern of life in which these fruits of the spirit are being manifest.

In your relational dealings, relational dealings, your relationship with your spouse, for example, and, and think about it. What does scripture teach concerning the marriage relationship? What is the purpose of the marriage relationship? It is designed to point straight to Jesus and his bride, and your children should see in your example as a husband and wife, they should be able to see.

The ultimate marriage taking place in reality at some point in the future. Your marriage is designed to reflect the reality. Of what is yet to be. The fruit of the spirit and all of your relational dealings, do the children see in your interactions, in the interactions of mom and dad, the fruit of the spirit, love and joy, peace, patience, kindness.

Do they see demonstrations of the fruit of the spirit as you're seeking to be an authentic example before them, do they see that in your personal dealings with them in terms of how you relate to your own children? Is it obvious to them in terms of how you relate to your children that you are spirit filled? And again love joy, peace, patience, kindness are those fruits being made evident to your children as you speak to them as you look at them as you interact with them when they do something wrong and inwardly you feel like you just wanna blow up at them, do they, do they sense from you.

The choice to walk in the spirit to where they see the evidence of the fruit of the spirit.

Do the children see from your life the fruit of the spirit and all of your relational dealings, relationships, such as your extended family. For some of you that might mean a mother-in-law or a father-in-law, and in terms of how you speak to them and how you treat them and, and, and, and what you say about them, do they, do they see the fruit of the spirit being manifest? Do they see a gospel centered mom and dad as mom and dad thinks about people on the basis of the gospel because see what they need.

They need an authentic example.

They desperately need mom and dad to be the example so that they know how to walk as they move on in their own lives. Do they see this example being manifest? In your dealings with the people of your church and. My wife and I were talking about this and to our shame we have realized not that we say bad things.

But we don't say enough good things and our children need to more often overhear daddy talk about his brothers and sisters with an attitude of intense gratitude. Andrew and Emma and Caleb need to hear Daddy speak of of his coworkers, the staff, and, and the elders and the people in his care group. They need to hear daddy speak of them in such a way that they know that Mr. Scott and Mrs.

Anita are special to daddy. They need to know that mommy and daddy think that Mr. Alvin and Mrs. Kim are special to daddy, OK?

They need to hear an attitude of gratitude. They need to be able to observe from me the gospel centered attitude that I should be having in relation to the blessings, the people that God has given to me. They need to see the fruit of the spirit manifest in my life as it relates to my unsaved friends, whether that be my neighbors or in many of your cases your coworkers or whatnot. They need to see it in relation to my enemies they need to see daddy be an authentic example of gospel centered living to where the fruit of the spirit is manifest even in relation to my enemies.

I am very, very blessed and encouraged. Over the last 1.5 to 2 years. My family has had some very difficult problems with one of our neighbors and I don't have the time to get into the details but it became very obvious that this neighbor was his his he and his wife, both of them were were an instrument of the devil, and, and they would do some some mean nasty horrible things. To us and one example this is a small example.

this man would cruise up into his driveway. And as he gets out yelling and screaming, throwing beer cans in my yard, he would say something to the effect of, hey Carlos, and he would yell it loud enough with the intention that I would hear, why don't you take your Bible and shove it. And a few expletives, and he did this on more than one occasion. Or, or he may see that I am outside and go and blast his music loud enough to where neighbors 10 houses up could easily hear vulgar music.

And I am encouraged by the fact that my children to this day will pray for their salvation. I pray for their salvation too, but I also pray for God to exercise punishment if he so chooses. I haven't heard my children pray that prayer, so maybe they are ahead of me. But you see they need to see mommy and daddy responding to enemies in a godly manner after he had done so many mean nasty horrible things towards me and my family.

I, I actually had the opportunity through the encouragement of Pastor Milton to demonstrate kindness to him. And see, the kids need to see mommy and daddy living out the gospel as difficult as it may be in some of your relationships sometimes. Your example should include openness to your children when they observe inconsistencies. In your life They should feel the freedom to come to you and respectfully say.

Dad, I think that what you did or I think that the attitude that you were having was wrong. I have told my children that they have this freedom. to, to respectfully rebuke me whenever they observe inconsistencies, and both of my children have taken me up on the offer. I'll never forget, this was a number of years ago.

Andrew was a little guy. This may have been, 4.5 years ago, but my wife and I were having a disagreement. And I was the one that was having the bad attitude in relation to our disagreement, and I had gotten frustrated to the point that I went into my room. And I don't know where Andrew was at the time, but they knew that something was up.

And so Andrew comes to Daddy. While I'm in my room being totally self-centered and arrogant and angry and sinful. And he engages in a conversation with his daddy. And I don't remember exactly everything that he said, but I do remember this he said, Daddy.

Do you think, and he's very respectful, do you think, Daddy, that right now you're walking in the way of the Lord. Or are you walking in the way of the devil? I, I confess that I was walking in the way of the devil. And you see how God can use your children as an instrument of his grace in your own life and they need to be appreciated for the positive contribution that they can make in your own life.

That's an example of me not being a good example, but I acknowledge that I was wrong and he saw that I acknowledged and my wife and I, we kissed and we made up. but, but, but anyway, allow your children. To come to you and to respectfully rebuke you if there is a need, see what you're saying, what you're communicating, what I am trying to communicate to my children is, is I, I need people to help me to see the things about me that I don't see about myself. And, and I want to invite you children into my life to help me to see the ways in which my life is inconsistent.

With, with the gospel that I profess. As I have said, your children are keenly aware of you. They're little sponges and they're soaking it all in. If I were to have a lunch date with your child or with your children.

If I were to ask them some of the following questions, I wonder how they would respond. What do you appreciate most about your mom and dad? What are your parents passionate about? What are your parents most deeply committed to?

What do they get excited about? How do your parents spend their time? What do they do? With the time that God has given to them, what are the things that they talk about?

What do they. What do they do for entertainment when they have important decisions, what is influencing the decisions they make? Do you see them getting jazzed about the gospel? Do you see?

In the example of your mom and dad. A couple Who are deeply, deeply grateful for God, for Christ, for the gospel. And so Christian parenting must be gospel-centered. And gospel-centered Christian parenting must express itself in the form of an authentic example.

And your children need for you to be the example. You ought to be able to say to your children, I ought to be able to say to Andrew and Emma, follow me as I follow the Lord, do the things that you see me do. OK, the importance of an authentic example. I'm not perfect, but I am pressing on, and I want you to follow my example.

Moving on to the 3rd thing here, gospel centered parenting will express itself in parental instruction from the scriptures. That communicates the gospel in a relevant to life manner. Gospel centered parenting will express itself in parental instructions so we've gone from example which in some ways is the basis upon which we can provide instruction we're moving into instruction. It will express itself in parental instruction from the scriptures that communicates the gospel in a relevant to life manner.

Think again with me about Paul. What is his consistent pattern to speak or to write out of the overflow of the gospel? And if that's what he does, we ought to do the same thing. And we see that it's very observable in the scriptures and so if it is observable in the scriptures to where we can see from the scriptures the relationship between the gospel and living life, we see the relationship between the gospel and the heart in terms of, one's attitude, one's emotions, and one's will if, if, if we see from the scriptures the impact that the gospel ought to have on life.

And we see examples of how the gospel is impacting lives such as Paul then we need to direct them to the scriptures whereby from the scriptures they can see the gospel and the implications of the gospel for life we must direct them. To the gospel, and to do so via the scriptures. This would beg the question, are you leading your children in the scriptures? Is it a a habit?

Is it a pattern in your life in which you are faithfully and consistently and even systematically leading them through the scriptures. In my family we've done different things at different times lately the thing that we're doing, and again there's different things you can do, but what I've been doing lately just simply we sit down, we, we open a book and we read a chapter at a time, just a chapter at a time, read it. Ask questions to get some interaction and by the time we're done we're we're we're we're trying to, we're trying to nail like a key thought for the day and throughout the day we're trying to, to, to reiterate that when appropriate and, and it's amazing how often for example in the last week one of the major themes we've been going through Ephesians, one of the major themes is just walk in a manner worthy of the calling, walk in a manner worthy of the calling.

And so I've been trying to drill that into the mind of my kids.

Walk in a manner worthy of the calling. God in His goodness and in his grace, he has called you into a relationship with him. He has given to you all that you need. He has, sent his son to die for you.

Walk in a manner worthy of the great sacrifice that God did for you. Walk and, and we've been spending a little bit of time on a fairly regular basis over the last week, just talking about that. It's a theme that has come up in in Ephesians chapter 4 and 5 and 6 and so and so that's been the thing we've been talking about and, and, and just the other day Andrew was having a difficult time. He was struggling with a sinful attitude in relation to his sister.

And I was able to come alongside Andrew as he's obviously dealing with a sinful attitude and I'm able to remind him of this passage and I'm able to remind him that here he has a wonderful opportunity to choose the path of life or the path of death. He has this opportunity as difficult as it is for him right now to decide to walk in a manner worthy of the calling. And, and, and so in a sense what, what I, what I have done is I've come alongside him and I have sought in his life to play the role of Holy Spirit.

I know I am not Holy Spirit, but I am coming along as an instrument of God's grace to instruct him in this particular.

Particular situation and circumstance of his life so that he might think biblical and respond biblically understanding the calling of God and how it is only right for him to walk in a manner worthy of this great calling and fortunately on this occasion he did the right thing there's other times when he doesn't do the right thing, and so I have to get on him about that but but this is just part of what happens as an overflow of Christian parenting. communicating to them the gospel as it might relate to them.

Over the course of their life and so and so again are you taking them to the word of God? We have a wonderful a program here it is basically it it's designed to get kids to memorize scripture and I think Larry had recently shared on a Thanksgiving service that doing this with the kids has been a blessing because it has even helped him to think about the word a little more.

it sign your kids up in the Ina program scripture memory. See, you, God wants you to provide an environment for your children to which they're getting His word, they're getting the gospel. bring them, make sure they're in, in, in Sunday school where they can be taught the gospel, they can be taught Christian truth, they'd be taught the Bible. CJ Mahaney in one of his messages talks about the fact that every night he has his children go to bed listening to the Bible on tape.

There's an idea. You want your children to be exposed to the gospel regularly again via the scriptures via gospel centered music, take advantage of the opportunities that you have in order to instill in them gospel thinking by way of having them listen to gospel centered music, music that communicates the truths of the faith. You may have them listen to music as they're working throughout the day with a little CD player, or whatever, MP3 player, and they're listening to gospel-centered music that way.

It was funny.

My son conned me into buying him a CD player. You'll like this one. He did. He conned me.

We had allowed him to go with his neighbor. I think they went to Fiesta Village and hit some batting cages, and so our neighbor Mr. Sey takes Andrew and and his daughter, and they go off, hitting some balls. Well, Andrew gets back from this, from this memorable event, and he tells me how he listens to really bad music and so I don't know when it was, but a few days later he says, hey Daddy, I want you to buy me a CD player.

I said, why Daddy so that when I am driving in a car with Mr. CV I don't have to listen to his music and I can listen to Christian music., if you have to spend a few dollars to get your kids to listen to Christian music, then maybe you need to spend a few dollars. literature. I shared with you some of the lamplighter books that I have read to my kids, and they get fascinated by this stuff.

We're talking 150 pages, and I read the book to them in like 3 days, they're sitting there for an hour at a time wanting to hear it and as we're reading the stuff, it's just gospel centered literature, fictional, fictional stuff but very realistic and we're reading the stuff to the kids and. And they, they, they see from dad, just, just, emotional expressions that indicate that the gospel is important to them, provide them with good, solid Christian literature. Even video, there's, there's good video, the, the one example I think of is a friend of mine from Guam.

He now lives, up in Oregon, but, but I remember when I was living in Guam, he said something to the effect that the only thing he ever let his kids watch, they were, they were young girls at the time was the Jesus video.

they must have seen it a few 100 times, but they're being exposed to the gospel over and over and over and over again. They're being exposed to the Bible which reveals the gospel over and over and over again. And so, There is, gospel-centered parenting is going to express itself in parental instruction from the scriptures that communicates the gospel in a relevant to life manner, seize the spontaneous opportunities too that God gives you to minister the gospel to them. oftentimes when our kids break out in a fight, it's an inconvenience to me, but the reality is it's a wonderful blessing and an opportunity.

Why? Because God in His goodness and sovereignty is, is, is helping me to be able to observe some things about the hearts of my kids and the struggles they have and therein is opportunity for me to come alongside. And to minister the gospel and to help them to understand how the gospel relates to their attitude right now periodically Andrew will communicate to me the fact that. I am a bad boy.

He'll say that once in a while. I am a bad boy and, and typically what that means is he's very frustrated with the fact that he sees that he is a sinner. I am a bad boy, daddy. You're right, Andrew.

And Daddy is a bad boy too. We all have sinned, and we all have fallen short, but that's why Jesus died. Because we are bad and we are sinful. And he died so that we can be free, Andrew, free from the guilt and power of sin in your life, in our lives, and so why don't we together ask the Lord to help us to grow in our experience of the gospel.

So that the sin in our life is being eradicated slowly but surely as we grow in Christlikeness. The gospel must be central. Gospel centered parenting expresses itself in the form of authentic example. Gospel centered parenting does involve instruction in which the gospel, as the scripture unpacks it, is being communicated to the children in a relevant to life manner.

The last point that I want to make here with the one minute that I have is that the gospel must be central so that. Your children might experience salvation to the glory of God. At the end of the day, I, I, I want my sons, my sons, my daugh I want them to be saved. And when we talk about salvation, we are not just talking about their justification, but we're.

Talking about sanctification with the mind that ultimately the day of glorification will come and they will stand before the Lord face to face and have to give an account for every idle word that they have spoken, and God wants to use us in the lives of our children to prepare them for that sobering day. My children will stand before him face to face someday, and I want them to stand before him. And I want them to be able to hear him say, well done, Andrew, well done, Emma, Caleb, well done, well done, good and faithful servant.

Enter into the joy of the Lord.

Well done. I want them to be able to stand before the Lord with, with his acknowledgment that their lives were lived for his glory. And I know that God intends that my example and my instruction in their life, he intends the example instruction to work in their life so that they are prepared for that day and it doesn't matter if you're not a parent if you're not a parent, you're teaching Sunday school, think about that those children that you teach in a sense you can consider them your spiritual children.

They're gonna be, they're gonna have to come and meet the Lord face to face one day.

And do you not want God, through the power of the gospel, to use you as you articulate the gospel for them in a relevant to life manner, and as you're living it out in your life, do you not want them as a result, to be prepared So that they are saved for the glory of God, justified, sanctified, glorified. We must see our jobs as parents in light of the future. I realize that in this audience, there are a number of different people. I just want to take a minute to speak to those who are parents specifically.

If you are a parent like me, it doesn't take long as you look back at your track record to realize. there have been some mistakes made. I want to encourage you this morning with the fact. That through Christ because of the gospel, because of his grace and mercy in our lives, we have hope, the hope of forgiveness and freedom from the power and the guilt of our sins in our lives, and I would encourage you to, to, to think of something that you can do in light of the gospel and in light of your justified status before the Lord and His grace and mercy showered upon you.

I want you to think of maybe something that you can do in your role as a parent that would prove to be a positive step forward. That first step might mean going to Andrew and Emma and acknowledging that I have not been a good daddy. Oftentimes in my prayers with Andrew and Emma at night in my prayers I'll confess that I am not a good daddy, that I have struggled and I have sinned. I have not been the best daddy.

I need to go. Lord help me, and I'm communicating to them something there. and I think that that your children hearing you say stuff like that or even asking them for forgiveness if you have failed them. Is is perhaps the first and greatest step towards progression and then think of something practical to do.

Maybe you just aren't leading your kids in devotions break open the Bible and lead them in devotions that might be a good place to start. Maybe you're struggling with a particular personal sin, maybe it's anger and you need to get a hold of it, confess that. And then and then and seek to employ accountability and take some steps necessary to grow in that area because what they need is they need an authentic example of a man who they can even say yeah I remember him struggling but he's not like that anymore.

And God can do great things in their lives as they observe the gospel having an impact in your life, despite whatever failures you may have been guilty of in the past as you press on.

To lay hold of that for which he has laid hold of you for, well, I've turned 1 minute into 6 minutes, so let's close in prayer. Dear heavenly Father, we just thank you so much for the gospel, and Lord, we confess to you the fact that Lord, we have failed to be gospel centered in the way that we ought to be. Lord, as a dad and as a mom, as daddies and as mommies, Lord, as parents, help us Lord, to grow in gospel centeredness may we be an authentic example. That the gospel we proclaim would adorn our lives so that the instruction we give might be received and there would be no reason for our children to become bitter towards us as the evidence the hypocrisy in our lives.

Lord, we pray for grace, help us, Lord, we thank You, Lord, so much for the examples in this church. I thank you for those who have gone on before me. And it is evident. That you have made a positive impact through them in the lives of their children, who are now young men and women.

We pray for more examples of that. Father, we thank you so much for the gospel and for sins forgiven, for your grace and your mercy and your love towards us, and for the encouragement you give and for entrusting to us the children we have. Oh Lord, help us to prepare them for the day that they are going to see you face to face. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

Thank you so much, Carlos, for getting us kicked off. That was awesome. back to the, yeah, you can go ahead and give him a, back to that story, when he was talking about Andrew rebuking him, right before Andrew walked into the room, he told his mom, he said, Mom, I'm going in. So, I wanna encourage you to take a look at our book table out there and, avail yourself those resources.

Next week Pastor Milton will be here at 9 to 10 talking about gospel centered discipline, and so I really highly recommend you to come to that. God bless you guys, and we'll see you in about 8 minutes.