What God Requires of Your Pastors Part 3

Orthodox sound guy who has a daughter himself and was just very concerned, that part of the wedding ceremony where they ask the question, who gives this woman to be married to this man and the dad says, I do, or her mother and I do. He says, I take that very seriously, and I'm not just going to go handing over my daughter to. to just any old guy, so he wrote a book on this is what a guy must be if I'm going to hand my daughter over to him and entrust my daughter to his care for the rest of her life, and there's a long list of things that you see on the screen that he, is saying that a man must be if he wants to get his daughter.

Well, in a way, that's what 1 Timothy 3:1 through 7 is.

this is God's word, and this is God writing a book, essentially, a short one, but the title of it is what he must be if he wants to pastor my people. And I want you guys, as we've been telling you over the last couple of weeks, to feel loved by God. God loves you so much that he is not going to just entrust you over to the care of just anybody. But God is very exacting, very demanding.

In terms of what he expects and requires of those whom he is going to entrust you over to the care of. And so even if you're not an elder and never will be an elder, still, you can listen in and just enjoy being loved by God, as he so obviously cares for you. also, let me just say, another thing, about this passage before we get into it, for today. You need to know that, we've been taking a little, quite a bit of time in this passage and maybe more time than you would want to take.

but this passage, 1 Timothy 3:1 through 7, is absolutely critical to the life and the well-being, of a church. A church will rarely, if ever, rise above its leadership, right? And so it's absolutely critical that we as elders be what God has called us to be. But you also need to know that if we as elders have any strategy for church growth, First Timothy 3:17 is a key part of our vision and our strategy for church growth.

It really is and we're very deliberate about this. I've been here at Cornerstone for 17+ years now, and I remember within the first probably 4 months of my being a pastor here at Cornerstone. There was someone who came to the elders with a church growth telemarketing scheme. And basically he said, here's the deal and he had it all laid out and all of the statistics, and he said if we can get the phone numbers of everyone in the city of Riverside and Moreno Valley, divide up our people and have all of them call every single one of those phone numbers, then of all those that are called x% of them, we will actually be able to talk to them, and of those that our people actually talk to x%.

will actually attend a special service that we'll have, and of those that attend, 1% will continue attending. And so, sure enough, in a few months' time, our church will grow rather instantly by 300 people. That was basically the, the cell. to which I replied, and who will shepherd these 300 people?

Because at that time, our elder board was full of really great men, godly men who love the Lord. But as a board, we weren't at a place at that point, where each elder saw himself as a pastor, as a shepherd. And was fully functioning in that way. And I told the elders, I said, Here's my strategy for church growth, that we as elders invest ourselves in being the men, and the shepherds that God wants us to become.

And I believe our church will grow numerically in proportion to our growth as elders, both as men of God and as shepherds. Here's our belief here at Cornerstone, where there are qualified and faithful shepherds, God will send his sheep. Amen. God loves his sheep.

He wants his sheep to be properly overseen. and cared for. And so if we at Cornerstone, both our present elders are developing into the men and shepherds God wants us to be, and allowing God and cooperating with God and raising up new elders, who are the men and shepherds that God wants us to be. If Cornerstone is a place where we have faithful, godly, biblically qualified shepherds, then there's no doubt about it, God is going to send his sheep.

To those shepherds to be shepherded. Over the last 17 years, our church has grown numerically in proportion to the spiritual maturity and the maturity of ministry of the elders. And I have to be candid and tell you that at times, our church has grown numerically because we as elders have been growing. And there have been times where our church has been spiritually not growing, numerically, not growing because of me.

Or because of the elders. I remember we had a guy that we consulted with and, and just laid out, the things that we were dealing with, and he looked at me and said, you're the problem, Milton. And he graphed that on a dry erase board and said, you are the bottleneck. You are the problem here.

And I kept that dry erase board in my office for months and everyone that came in, I'm like, look at that. See, I'm the problem here. I'm the bottleneck that's keeping our church from being what God wants it to be. but in such times, I realized I need to grow and I need to develop and we as elders need to grow and develop.

But God has been faithful to the degree that we as elders have been maturing as men of God and as shepherds of His people, we have seen our church almost in direct proportion to that. growing both spiritually and numerically. And so no one ever has and probably ever will ask me to come speak at a church growth seminar, but if they did, I would ask for two sessions. And in session number 1, I would talk about the gospel and the need to keep the gospel absolutely central in everything that we do as a church.

But then the second session, I would preach 1 Timothy 3:1 through 7, because it's that critical to healthy, robust, and proper spiritual and even numerical growth in the life of a church. as we have been working our way through this section thus far, we have encountered 8 qualifications or 8 elements of the job description of elders. Elders are to be above reproach. They are to be one woman men.

They are to be temperate. They are to be prudent, respectable, hospitable. Last week, Mike Barry covered the 7th and the 8th 1, and that is that elders are to be apt to teach and not. Addicted to wine.

Today what we're going to focus on are 3 more things that God requires. Of your pastors because he loves. You Look at what these things are. Let's just read verse 3.

Let's start in verse 2 actually. An overseer then must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, verse 3, not addicted to wine, or Pugnacious. But gentle. And peaceable.

I'll go ahead and tell you the three things that we're covering today, and that is that an elder is not to be pugnacious, but is to be gentle. And is to be peaceable. These three are related to one another, and so, obviously they're clustered together intentionally. This speaks of a certain aspect of a shepherd or elder's ministry.

Elders are to be gentle and peaceable and they are not to be, pugnacious. What these qualifications and elements of an elder's job description, what they imply, Is that elders in the course of their ministry are going to encounter circumstances that are going to put to the test these qualities. They're going to find themselves in ministry situations in which these qualities will be absolutely required. They will find themselves in very intense ministry situations in which lesser men.

would be pugnacious, and ungentle, and the opposite of peaceable, and God only wants men caring for his people, who will not be pugnacious, gentle, And will be gentle and peaceable. Understand this is part of the job description of elders, but also understand that, that Paul is giving direction to Timothy. it's not like elders should read this and say, all right, I got to make sure I'm not pugnacious in my ministry. All right, I can be pugnacious at home with my wife and my children, but as long as in my shepherding ministry, I'm not, that's OK.

No, no. Here's the deal. Paul is telling Timothy, Hey, Timothy, here's the guys to look for. To be an elder.

And so look for men like this, men in your church that you observe are gentle and peaceable, and are not pugnacious in their existing relationships and ministries. Those are the men that should catch your eye as the men that should be serving. As elders. So you look for men that are not pugnacious, that are gentle and peaceable in their marriage relationship, and the way that they respond to and treat.

Their wives. You look at how they interact with their children, and they should not be pugnacious with their children, but gentle and peaceable with their children in the workplace, in the community, you want to see men who are gentle and peaceable. And as you observe men in your church as they interact with their brothers and sisters in the Lord, and you find them in conflict situations and situations in which they have experienced wrong. In the ministry, that they might be involved in, as they relate to those underneath them or even those over them in ministry and dealing with all the ins and outs and the ups and downs of that, you want to find men that you observe to be not pugnacious, but instead are gentle and all of these settings and peaceable.

Let me also say that, if you're not an elder, don't look at this and say, well, it's OK if I'm pugnacious because I'm not an elder. No, actually, all of these qualities and other passages and context are called upon every believer. Every, every believer is to be not pugnacious. Every believer is called on to be gentle.

In fact, we're going to see every believer is called upon to have a reputation. For gentleness. It should not just be something you do, but you should be known for your gentleness. And every believer is to be peaceable.

And God wants these qualities to become fashionable in the church. And so he wants them to be seen in the leadership. And if he wants them to be in the life of everyone in the church, then it begins on the leadership level. And God wants these qualities in the leaders' lives because he wants these qualities in everyone else's life.

And so whether you're an elder or not, I want you to be asking these questions this morning. How do I deal with conflict when it comes my way? How do I respond when I am wronged? Someone maybe has wronged me in the past.

How am I dealing with that today? Maybe right now I'm in the midst of a season where I am being wronged. How am I responding? to that, I would also ask, how do you react when you get frustrated?

Maybe your frustration is actually legitimate. You actually want people to do certain right things, but they're not doing those right things. How do you respond when you get frustrated? What do you do?

What do you say? How do you act? These are questions that I want all of us to be asking, this morning, including myself. Well, let's pick up here and let's look at the 9th on the list that we're looking at.

the first thing we'll look at today, which is actually the 9th thing that God requires of elders, is this, and that is that they must not be pugnacious. Pugnacious is a big word. But I think most of us just by the sound of the word have an idea of what this term means. It speaks of someone who is not a striker, someone who is not a deliverer of blows.

It is someone who does not attack people. All right. and obviously, it means someone who does not resort to physical violence with his wife or with his children or with other people in the church, but it also speaks of someone who does not resort to verbal violence, assaulting somebody. verbally, the pugnacious person is someone who does assault people either physically or assaults them with the arm of his tongue.

As Solomon speaks about in the book of Proverbs, he's a striker, a giver of blows, either physically or verbally. Now, and, and thinking about this, guys, let's be candid. And acknowledge the fact that there's a pugnacious part of all of us. How many of you would raise your hand and say, I confess there's a pugnacious part of me?

All right. Most of you are acknowledging that, we all have a sinful flesh inside of us, and that sinful flesh, when we are wronged in some way, we want to fight back, right? when we're frustrated, we want to lash. Out.

There's a part of all of us that is like this. I was reading this week in a book by Dave Harvey, and it's talking about in the context of the marriage relationship, but, but listen to his description of what often can happen in our hearts and even in our marriages when we're wronged by our spouse. He says, you've been there. Your spouse says something, whether intentional or not, and it's like a stomach punch to the soul.

You feel assaulted, rejected, embarrassed. Immediately a counterattack strategy begins to form in your mind, one that will rival D-Day in its overwhelming impact. You want to load your mouth and pull the trigger. You want to call in a round of devastating insights that decimate your spouse's claim like a well targeted air assault.

You want to unleash a verbal strike force that will take back every inch of lost ground and extract payment for every twinge of wounded pride. You want to leave meekness in a box back at the base and just go to war. Amen. when I read that this week, I, I found my, my blood started to boil because, I've been there in a, in a whole variety of settings where someone has upset me or wronged me in some way and, and, and, and even at times where I would never even imagine acting out on it, I fantasized about it.

And man, I'm just imagining myself saying all sorts of things that are exactly in the very tone of what he is describing. I've rehearsed in the shower, the most powerful speeches and attacks like this. just with my tongue. And so what he's doing is he's surfacing that part of, that exists in all of us.

All of us have a pugnacious part of us. And a pugnacious person is someone who gives way to this part of himself and allows himself to be ruled and his marriage relationship with his children. And in his relationships with brothers and sisters in the Lord. Consequently, we can, we can say this, a pugnacious person is someone who strikes back when he's attacked.

So if someone does something to me, I retaliate. Someone lashes out at me, I lash back at them. My husband speaks to me in this way. I speak to him exactly the way he speaks to me.

He wrongs me in this way, I will wrong him in return. He won't give me something that I feel is due me, then I will not give him something that he thinks is due him. It's someone who retaliates, someone who strikes back when They are attacked in some way. Also, it is someone who attacks either physically or verbally when frustrated.

and parents, this is a big one. you want your children to obey. That's a godly, noble desire. You speak to them kindly and you give them instructions and you want them to obey.

But when they don't obey or, When they're not doing what they should be doing, do you just immediately default to the pugnacious part of you and let that pugnacious person begin to dominate and control you? Do you, do you physically strike them in anger? At Cornerstone, we believe biblically that there's a place for physical discipline in the rearing of children, but that is never ever to be done in anger. It is always to be done in love with a loving and a constructive intent.

You are never to strike your children, out of anger, but that's when, when someone does that, what they're doing is they're being pugnacious. They might be legitimately frustrated. Over some legitimate concern, but they are responding to that in a pugnacious, way, or maybe you just unload the gun on your children and you verbally assault and attack them when you are frustrated, with them. And so in those moments, a person might be genuinely frustrated.

Their frustration God might look at and say that's totally legitimate, but they're handling it in a pugnacious way. And here's the deal, guys, in James chapter one, James says the anger of man, literally the idea is the anger of man does not produce a righteousness that's God approved. In other words, an angry response, either passively or aggressively, will never produce in the person you're angry at a righteousness that is God approved. It pragmatically, it will never work at achieving even the goal that you might have for it.

It's utterly ineffective. Being pugnacious is not the way to go, even from a pragmatic standpoint, but a pugnacious person strikes back when attacked. They attack physically, verbally when they're frustrated, or they're the person who might seek to intimidate or browbeat people into submission. You can actually do this with your children, by the way, and it's somewhat effective for short periods of time.

Then you have to browbeat them again, the next day and then the next day and the next day, and you teach them that they only need to obey when you intimidate them and browbeat them, and you just set yourself up for a miserable life. are you an intimidator? Just ask yourself that. Do you browbeat?

Also, a pugnacious person is someone who might verbally strike at someone's reputation behind his back. Maybe you would never go up to that person and say everything that's in your heart against them. You wouldn't dare do that, but you will go behind their back, and in speaking to other people, you will begin to assault them. You will assault their reputation and attack that reputation.

And tear it down piece by piece. What you're doing in those moments is you are being a pugnacious person. Paul says an elder in any of these venues should not be a pugnacious person because people, when they are pugnacious, hurt other people, and they hurt the people of God, and God loves His people so much. He does not want a pugnacious man.

Being a shepherd or an elder responsible for the care of God's people. Also, as I mentioned earlier, there are times in a shepherding ministry where an elder finds himself in very difficult, intense ministry situations, and, and if an elder is a pugnacious person and he just tends to resort to being a verbal thug or even a physical thug when he gets frustrated or upset or he retaliates when attacked, then guaranteed he's going to hurt some people in the ministry. Listen to what one writer says.

He says elders must handle highly emotional interpersonal conflicts and deeply felt doctrinal disagreements between believers.

Elders are often at the center of very tense situations. So a bad tempered, pugnacious person is not going to solve issues and problems. He will in fact create worse explosions, because a pugnacious man will treat the sheep roughly and even hurt them. He cannot be one of Christ under shepherds.

So again, this is God loving you. And insisting that this type of person not be a shepherd, providing care for you, but God would also say to you, you are not to be pugnacious either. In contrast to pugnaciousness, Paul says, Here's what elders are to be, and that is that they must be gentle. They must be gentle, and in a way you can define gentleness as the opposite of pugnaciousness, all right, but the word itself conveys a variety of ideas that commentators write about and Try to dig into this, this word gentle, has the idea of being forbearing.

it implies that there's something wrong with the person you're told to be forbearing with. we would never be told in scripture to be gentle with God. And that this word would be used because there's nothing wrong with God. And by the way, the fact that elders are told to be gentle with the people of God should tell an elder, even if he's never met the people in this particular church, and starting tomorrow, I'm going to be an elder, and God says you better be forbearing with them, that should alert an elder to the fact that there must be something wrong with these people.

And indeed, there is. Yes, they are saved by the blood of Jesus, but there is indwelling sin that is still in them. And they are going to fail. They're going to be immature in many ways.

They're not going to progress to the degree that they should. And at times, you're going to witness sin and you're gonna maybe Confront them about that, and they're not going to see that right away. And that might be frustrating. And sometimes they're going to sin against you.

And Paul is saying, elders, you got to make sure that you are forbearing. If you're not forbearing, you're never going to be the elder that God wants you to be to his people. Someone who is forbearing in his relationships is someone who is like His Heavenly Father. Psalm 103.

As a father has compassion on his children, so our father has compassion on us. He knows our frame. He knows that we are dust. In other words, you, you look at people, even your brothers and sisters, and no, what, they're not perfect, and they're on a journey.

They've got a long way to go, and so do I, and they're going to mess up and they're going to sin, and sometimes they're going to sin against me and I'm not going to follow them around with a clipboard and just make a note of every one of their sins and confront every single one of them. Yes, some things I'll need to talk to them about, but hey, we're on a journey and we have a long way. To go. It's someone who has that forbearing spirit, even regarding the immaturities and the sins that he sees in his brothers and sisters.

It also speaks of someone who is conciliatory and yielding in conflict. Someone who is quicker to make amends than he is to make defense of his rights. There's some people that when they are wronged, it's like they're, they turn into an attorney and they're chronicling every way that they have been wronged and, and they're very exacting of what they demand from other people before a situation can be solved, but, but someone who's gentle is someone who's like, what, I don't frankly care about my rights as much as I care about just reconciling with this person and I'm not going to walk around with a clipboard and just make sure every little thing gets checked off before I can grant forgiveness and give peace to this other person.

It's someone who is willing to yield up his rights.

To yield up his rights in his effort to make peace with someone with whom he is in conflict with. And then this word, some, some people would suggest translating this word gentle as kindness. In other words, it speaks of being forbearing, but that's passive. It's like, well, I'm just not gonna, hate that person or be angry at that person or withhold myself from that person because of some failing that I see.

in them that's somewhat passive, but this word also has the positive active side of I will actively do kindness to this person. I will actively do the opposite of what the pugnacious part of me would rather do. The pugnacious part of me would like to strangle this person, but I will not give way to that. And instead, I will actually do kindness and speak kindness and show love in some practical way.

To this person without regard to whether he deserves it or not, because I have a God who has been amazingly kind to me, even though I not only have failed to deserve that kindness, but I've actually earned the opposite of the kindness that he has shown to me. So I will give the same grace and forgiveness and gentleness and kindness that God lavishes upon me, even though I grieve him and fail him in countless ways. the deal is, guys, listen to what Alexander Strauss says in his book on biblical eldership.

He says there are so many wrongs, disagreements, faults, hurts, and injustices that exist in this sinful world that one would be forced to live in perpetual division, anger, and conflict were it not for forbearance that is being called on here.

Imagine how busy and angry you'd be if just you just tracked down every slight offense. Anything done wrong or anything that you thought was owed to you that was not rendered to you and, You're exacting payment for each of those things. Life would be exhausting and busy indeed, but instead, you yield up your rights and you actively do kindness to those who maybe have not been kind to you. I was reading a few months ago about Richard Wormbrand.

I've talked about him from time to time. He was, A leader in the underground church in communist Romania. And shared a story or two about him, over, over the years, but I was reading a few weeks ago about an encounter that he had with a former Nazi soldier in Romania., World War II was over, years had gone by, and Richard Warmbrandt found out about a soldier, former Nazi soldier that was living in their apartment complex. And Richard Warmbrandt's wife was ill at the time, so she was asleep in bed, and Richard goes up to meet him and introduces himself, and they get to talking, and it turns out this guy likes music and so Richard says, Why don't you come down to my apartment and And we've got a small piano there and I could play some music and we can talk music.

And so the guy came down and as they began to talk, this soldier began to brag about some of his exploits in the prison camp during the war. As Richard Wormbrand listened to him and realized what prison camp that he was in, Richard Wormbrand realized that is the prison camp and the exact time period in which my wife's mother and father and brother and 3 sisters were killed. By a guard at that prison camp. What this soldier was bragging about sounded very much like that.

Richard Wormbrandt responded and said, Let me tell you about my wife's family, and he began to say what I just said. And Richard Wormbrandt says, as far as I know, You very well could be the one who killed my wife's father and mother and brother and 3 sisters. And the guy got up from his seat and started towards Richard Wormbrand in anger, and Richard Wormbrand held up his hand and said, just sit down. I'm going to go wake my wife up.

And I'm going to tell her everything you have just told me. And so the man sits back down and Richard Rembrandt gets his wife out of bed and she comes in. She's not feeling all that well, and, He introduces her to the man and then says, this man very well could be the guy that killed your father and mother and your 4 siblings. His wife, upon hearing that, walked over to this soldier.

And hugged him around the neck. And then made him the best supper that she could make in her condition. This man was so moved by the love that she had showed to him. Richard Wormbrandt even said, if she shows you this love for what you have done, imagine what Jesus can do.

And that man fell to sobbing, and right there, in the Wormbrand's apartment accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior. Why? Well, God used a woman and a man who not only, and by the way, Richard said, I knew my wife would respond that way. That's why I did that.

I knew she would, hug his neck and, and do kindness to him, and I wanted him to experience that. but not only did they withhold any retaliation, vengeance or anger, but actively did kindness to this man. By the way, what's your excuse? What, what offenses are you carrying around, frustrated and angry about and unable to give grace and forgiveness and be kind in your countenance or in your deeds towards somebody who has slighted you in some way or wronged you in some way?

Did they kill your mom and dad? They killed 4 of your siblings. If she by the power of Jesus Christ is able to show this grace to this man, I think all of us for the The petty offenses that occur between us that we ought by the power of the same Lord to be able to just overwhelm such deeds of evil with the doing of good. In fact, in Philippians 4:5, Paul says, let your forbearing spirit, it's the same Greek word forbearing spirit, be known to all men.

In other words, what he's saying is, I, I want all of you to be forbearing and to be gentle. This is not just something for elders, but He says, I, I don't just want you to be gentle in this way. I want your gentleness to be known to everybody. I want you to be such this way, that that's what people know you as.

And when he says to be known to all men, what he's saying is, I want everybody to experientially know this forbearance that God gives. To you. You say, well, it's easy to be forbearing towards some people. For the people who wronged me, it's hard.

Well, obviously, in fact, those people in your life that have wronged you, that you find it the hardest to be this way towards, that's exactly who this word is for. You're not being all that forbearing towards people that aren't wronging you. It doesn't fit. But especially those people in your life that have wronged you or are wronging you, or they're not being kind to you, they're not giving you the respect that you deserve, from them.

Paul says, I want you to be gentle, I want you to be forbearing, I want you to be kind. And I want everybody, not just some, but everybody to know experientially, of this gentleness of your disposition. God wants this to be in every believer's life. First Timothy 3, he says, I want it to be evident in the leaders of the church.

Lastly, Elders must be peaceable. This is a synonym for gentle, but it brings out an additional nuance. Elders must be peaceable men. Both in the quality of their character, but also in how they respond to situations where the pugnacious part of them would want to respond differently.

They must be peaceable. Now, what's interesting is literally the Greek word translated peaceable is the Greek word fight with a negative particle in front of it. It simply means no fight, no fight. Elders are to be men.

With no fight. And that sounds weird because earlier in First Timothy, Paul tells Timothy to fight the good fight of faith. So Timothy, fight. And now in this passage elders are to be men who don't fight.

So how do we reconcile that? That's something we can talk about in our care groups tonight, but I will say this that there's two different kinds of fights. There's a positive fight, fighting the good fight of the faith or the gospel. There's also the fight where we fight in defense of ourselves.

We fight with selfish motives. We fight because our pride. has been wounded and we fight people in a way, verbally or physically, that is intended to injure them. That's the key.

When Paul tells Timothy to fight the good fight, he's not saying go around and injure certain people that get in the way of you being, what God wants you to be or get in the way of the believers. No, you, you, even when we fight the biblical fight that we're called to fight, we don't do so in a way that injures other people. And we are careful that we don't fight with selfish motives in defense of ourselves or in defense of our rights. This also speaks of of a person like someone who has no fight in this sense is someone who's not quick to take up a quarrel.

when I was a kid on the playground, when someone yelled the words fight, we all of us stopped what we were doing and ran to wherever the fight was and built a circle around. That fight, and there was something about a fight that was just exciting, and there are some people that they just thrive off of fighting. They just seem like they, they're not happy unless they're mad at somebody and fighting against somebody. There are people in the ministry that are this way also.

It means that you're not quick to take up a quarrel. And guys, it takes two people to fight, right? And Paul is saying elders are not to be fighting with anybody, and now the other person may want to fight, but you don't fight. You just don't fight with them in a way that's designed to retaliate against them or injure them.

Someone who's peaceable is also not quick to take up other people's quarrels. You ever had that happen in your life? Someone, they're in a fight, maybe it's even a husband and a wife, they're fighting and they're not getting it solved. And so they're like, hm, I think the next step is I need to build up my army against this other person.

So they seek to get you registered on their side. And get you caught up in the fight, and there are times where, in fact, this is how church splits happen. A conflict starts between two people. They start enlisting people in their own army and the army on both sides grows, and before it, a fight that started out between two people ends up being a split in a church of like 300 people, 150 go one way and 150 go the other way.

how that happens, because not just the immaturity of those two people who were originally fighting, but the immaturity of those that allowed themselves to pick up someone else's quarrel. That doesn't mean that if two people are fighting, you don't get involved, but what it means is you are genuinely loving both and you are fighting for both. You are on both of their sides, not just picking one side or the other. You are fighting for.

ultimate good of both of the people involved in that. Someone who is peaceable is someone who is quick to seek peace and to do everything he can to contribute to peace. There are some people that when a conflict comes to them, they have a way they're like gasoline to fire. Just if a conflict comes to them and that conflicts on a scale of let's say 3 on a scale of 1 to 10, after it's gone through them, it's, it's, it's doubled in its intensity.

They just have an intensifying effect upon conflicts that preexist, but then People that when conflicts come to them, they have a diffusing effect upon that, and they seek to respond with grace and they're not going to take up someone's quarrel on one side or the other, but if they do get engaged, they will get engaged for the true genuine benefit of both of the parties involved. Elders must be peaceable men. You say, Well, how do I deal with people that theologically disagree or they're they're actually sinning.

Well, listen to what Paul says.

he says in 2 Timothy 2, to Timothy, and the Lord's bond servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all. Listen to this, able to teach. Patient when wrong. So when someone commits a sin against you, you are patient with that person, and with gentleness, correcting those who are in opposition, even when dealing with someone, confronting someone regarding sin in their life, even some doctrinal defection, you seek to do so not in a fighting clamorous manner, but with gentleness, you seek to minister correction.

To those that are on the wrong side of an issue. Just in closing, guys, let me say this. You want to measure where you're at spiritually. Like, how am I really doing spiritually, and how could I go about measuring How I'm doing spiritually.

I would suggest this. How you deal with conflict. How you respond when wronged. How you react.

When people frustrate you. Says an awful lot about you. And serves as a good measuring stick. To where you're at spiritually and the degree to which the gospel is operating in your life.

The church is a place where sinners are in the process of being saved. The church therefore is a place where sins, immaturities, and conflicts and frustrations are bound to occur. If you're new at Cornerstone, stick around. Stick around.

We will hurt you. We will. We're going to, we're going to let you down in some way. And you will, you will sin against us.

But we give true testimony to the power of the gospel when we love each other well enough to respond to such things with gentleness, with the active doing of kindness. And when the world observes that kindness and that grace amongst us imperfect people, That's what the world looks at and says, I don't understand that. There's no explanation for that. And they would ask us, how can you do this?

How do you, how can you give this grace? And right there we have opportunity to speak to them of the grace that has been shown to us from God through the person of Jesus. This is the way we all should be and elders are to lead the way by their example. Let me ask you to bow your heads.

Maybe they,