A practical Approach to Giving Counsel

I heard. you. I was like, do I break down my life or what do I do? No, you don't want to do that.

Well, I can introduce you. All right, if we could find our way. If we could find our way to our seats. Team Uganda is going to be sharing their ministry today after the 2nd service, but here to just say a word about this is the head.

Of Team Uganda, and that is Mr. Bill Payne. Let's welcome him. I OK.

God is amazing. I don't know how many, well, a lot of years of my life that, I watched people talk about going on missions trips and listening to missionaries, and I was always, you go, you go, that's, yeah, you go, I never thought that I would, be involved in that, but this summer, 4 of us had the blessing, some of us returning for, 3rd and 4th times, to visit Uganda. And participate in ministry there our base was a high school there, Bethel Covenant College that we've, fallen in love with.

and, but the ministry went on a lot of places.

We tra, group traveled to Casega, to a small church there by the, by the Nile River, to Kachchany and just saw some amazing things, during our stay. part of the ministry was setting up a computer lab. I got bogged down, a lot in that, but actually this time I had the opportunity. They're starting to, some of the kids from the orphanage are starting to go to computer school.

So it's nice. I got to hang out with them and share with them while we're fixing things that were broken and getting things going again. we'd like to ask your prayers and we're very thankful also for the giving of the church. we were able to do a lot of things for the high school.

we also have about $1000 left over that we're going to be able to use, to bless at Casega. They have. a, a ministry there, with giving out medicine and things of, of like that, we're gonna be able to give min, give some money to that which will be really wonderful, we ask your prayers, we plan to continue our ministry there. We don't know exactly what direction it's going to take, but we're planning a trip, for next year.

Carly is, seeking the Lord and making plans to work in Uganda full time next year, being based out of, Bethel Covenant College and possibly doing some other things, but things are lining up for that, so we ask your prayers in that area. Well, I'd just like to thank you as a congregation for giving us this opportunity and just say God is amazing. He lets, people like me, participate in his work. So thank you.

Thank you, Bill. And there, there will be a time where, the members of Team Uganda are gonna be in the modular building after the second service. And they'll be just sharing a report of what God did. In and through them while they were in Uganda and there are refreshments.

So just whether that's relevant or not, just know there will be food over there along with the blessing of, of hearing the members of the team share. Carlos Slimtiaco, one of the members of our pastoral staff, is gonna be bringing the word to us, right now. Before he does, let me just say a quick word to set a framework for his message. One of the things that, is happening right now on a leadership level is, we're trying to restructure our counseling, ministry.

And part of that entails like the elders are wanting me to to do less counseling and to move me out of most of that. And to bring other people more into that role, namely Carlos and, and others, but for this restructuring to take place, we're gonna need, for example, our care group leaders to, carry more of the counseling load. By the way, they're wanting to move me out of this so that I could focus more on leadership development. I don't think it was because I am a bad counselor.

But there's just other things that we need to give some focus to, leadership wise, that, that, and that's where my energies need to go. But we need our care group leaders to. to be serving in that role, but a part of that picture also involves, every member of our church to see themselves as, God ordained counselors in the lives of their brothers and sisters, and, we fully believe that, if we look objectively at God's word, every believer would see that I am called to counsel my brothers and sisters and called to be counseled by my brothers.

And sisters in the Lord and unfortunately, in our society today over the last century.

those biblical instructions that apply to every believer to be counseling and ministering to one another on these levels, many believers are looking at that and saying, well, I can't do that, and that belongs to the professional class of counselors. You just don't find that structure in scripture and so we want to instill in you. A sense of excitement and hope with regard to seeing yourself as a counselor so that every believer would take responsibility to get in the word of God and to be trained to be an effective counselor to their brothers and sisters in the Lord and to look to their siblings in the Lord for that counsel as well and so to serve those ends in part, we're having Carlos come and speak to us on this subject of counseling and how you can be an effective counselor.

for the Lord in the lives of your brothers and sisters, so let's welcome him.

Yeah, yeah. boy, I don't, this, it's too tall. OK, we at Cornerstone Fellowship Bible Church are extremely blessed. to have Pastor Milton.

As I consider the topic of counseling, I can remember a time back in my early Christianity in which I needed some counsel. There's been more than one time, but on this one occasion I can remember going into Pastor Milton's office. When the office was wherever it was I don't remember but I remember being in the office and sharing with Pastor Milton some things about myself, opening up my journal and allowing him to read from the journal the things that I journaled about myself and my own sin struggles, and I will never, never, never forget leaving the counseling office, walking down the stairs and feeling like I was walking on air.

And I have had the privilege of being able to sit in on occasion on some of Pastor Milton's counseling sessions and I am amazed at at how effective he is in terms of discerning and providing some instruction and just basic counsel to the people to whom he counsels we are truly blessed to have a man like him.

But nevertheless, as he indicated, he's moving on to some degree, into more of a leadership development perspective as opposed to a counseling perspective. If you are a hard case, you may have the privilege of getting Milton. If you are an easy case, then you'll probably land with, second string Pastor Carlos Limtiaco here anyway, having said all of that, let's look to the Lord in prayer as we prepare our hearts for this message here. My dear Father God, we come before you this morning.

We give you praise as we already have, we continue to give you praise, Lord, we affirm the fact that you have been infinitely kind to us, considering our sin and considering your holiness and what we deserve, and yet, Lord, you have been so kind as to give us the air we breathe and the clothes on our back. And countless blessings in our life and beyond that, Lord, you have given to us of yourself. You sent your son into this world to die the death that we deserved and in you we have every spiritual blessings.

There is no condemnation, Lord, for us who believe we have been set free from the law of the power of death.

Lord, we give you praise and thanks and this morning, Lord, I pray that you would use me as an instrument of your blessings that Lord you would use me to counsel my brothers and sisters concerning this topic of counsel and then at the end of the day every single one of us would be better equipped at some level to answer your call upon our lives to counsel. And we pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. Let me begin by saying this morning that giving and receiving counsel, this goes without saying, it is a part of the Christian experience.

It is a part of the human experience. The topic of council is absolutely relevant to every single one of us, whether you are on the receiving end of council or you are on the giving end. Of council, this is something as Milton already indicated that is relevant to every single one of you out there. God calls you into this and, and it may be that at some point in the past or perhaps some point in the future, God will bring someone along your path, maybe in the context of care group and there was someone in your group struggling with the issue of singleness.

And there you have an opportunity to counsel someone coming along your path struggling with a relationship gone sour. Perhaps they have been sinned against or perhaps they have sinned against someone. What's that? gone.

We're using this mic. Oh. This is like a major distraction. I've got this guy behind me.

Yeah. It's not working. It's not working. Pastor Mike messed it up.

OK, Pastor Mike. He's gonna get on me for going overtime now and I'm gonna have an excuse. Are we good? OK.

cut that out of the, the recording. OK, let's see, where was I? someone, someone comes along and struggling with a relationship gone sour, they've been sinned against or someone has sinned against them, you've got an opportunity there to counsel someone comes along and, they're struggling because they've been trying for, for a number of years and this. This couple is unable to have children.

They come to the doctor's office and the doctor says it ain't gonna happen, and they come to you discouraged and downcast and wrestling with the issue of not being able to have children. What do you say? How do you counsel a person like that? Maybe, someone comes along and they're having a difficult situation at work, struggling with the decisions being made by the authorities in place.

What do you say? How do you approach that situation? Maybe someone has a life dominating sin. They are an alcoholic or addicted to some sexual sin, sexual lust, pornography.

Maybe that person struggles with, with anger, or any number of life dominating sins, materialism, you name it, sins of the outer person, sins of the inner person, sins that are rooted in the heart. So someone comes along. And you are presented with an opportunity to counsel. And we know from God's word that the power of life and of death is in the tongue and at that moment you have the opportunity by God's sovereignty to impart either life or death through the counsel you give through the words you speak.

God has given to you an opportunity. To be an instrument in his hands through which counsel can be given again I submit to you that counsel is simply a natural aspect of the Christian experience. I want you to turn to Romans 15:14 for a minute. Turn.

use the OK. Turn to Romans 15:14, and as you are turning there, let me just say a few things real quick. We know the backdrop. The apostle Paul has presented in, in detail the gospel to his readers.

And upon the basis of the gospel, he has called them in chapter 12 to present their bodies as a living sacrifice and along the way he has unpacked some very practical ways in which their lives are to be informed by the gospel and by offering themselves as a living sacrifice. He has made the gospel very practical and very relevant. So this is the backdrop, but we come to Romans 15:14. Notice what Paul says here.

Paul says, concerning you, my brethren. I myself also am convinced. I am absolutely convinced there is no doubt in my mind. I am confident that you yourselves are.

And a number of things are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to admonish one another. The apostle Paul speaks to his readers and herein he says that you are able to be instruments in the hands of the redeemer through whom he can minister his counsel to your brothers and sisters and. Find you here he is not talking to the elders of the church. He is talking to every single believer here and he is saying and by way of extension I am saying that every single one of us ought to be able to to say that we are competent to counsel, that we can be used of God in the lives of our brothers, brothers and sisters to minister counsel.

To one another, of course some have, are stronger in disability than others, but every single one of us at some level are called to council and so this morning what I wanna do is I wanna look at 8 key elements. Of effective biblical counsel, 8 key elements we will not, look at each of the tree in detail. We're gonna fly high and we're gonna look down at the forest. This is an introduction, so please keep that in mind.

I will be unable to give it the detail that that would be nice to give to, but I'll give you just a bird's eye view, OK? As you consider, counsel, giving counsel to someone that God brings along your path. Eight key elements of effective biblical counsel. I present these and I did not make this up.

I stole this from, those who have taught me in the past and so I'm just giving to, giving this to you as something that has been passed on to me., what we have here are the 8 eyes, OK? This is the, the 8 I's, each of the eight points starts with the letter I. So the first I. Kids, if you're filling in your blanks, involvement, OK, involvement.

What is involvement? If you want to be an effective counselor, you must gain involvement in the life of the person that you are counseling. This is the establishment and advancement of a genuine relationship in involvement you are in essence winning. Your brother or winning your sister, you are an expression of love and care and compassion to your brother or to your sister.

Listen to what the writer in Proverbs 11:30 says. He says that he who is wise wins souls, and so part of what you are doing is you are winning the soul of the person to whom you are counseling. You must win their soul. A wise person has that ability.

We're not talking in this passage merely about winning people to Christ, although that may be part of it, and it is. We are also talking about just the wise person. wins the heart of the person to whom he or she is in relationship with. If you wanna be effective, effective, you need to gain involvement, you need to win souls.

So question, how do we develop this involvement? What are some key features of gaining involvement in the life of people? Involvement is developed through gospel centered compassion for the councilee. Part of what you do is you acknowledge what God has done, who he is and what he has done on your behalf.

You understand the pit from which he dug. You and then you seek to be an expression of that to the person you're counseling so the gospel is absolutely central to this process of giving counsel. It's central to this process of gaining involvement so it is developed through gospel centered compassion for the counselee. You look at Jesus and countless time in the Gospels by way of example, we read that, that he saw and he felt compassion and he did something.

He healed them, he ministered to them in some way and likewise we like Jesus need to see, feel compassion and do something. what? Jesus won the hearts of the people to whom he ministered. He Gained involvement in their lives.

Involvement is developed through showing respect to the person that you are giving counsel to. You must show respect. Consider the apostle Paul, for example, and what does he do to the Corinthians? This was a messed up group of people and yet Paul refers to them as his brethren.

OK, that is a term of endearment, that is a term of, affection. in essence, he is communicating to them that they are part of his family. You are my brethren in Christ, and he is communicating respect to them in the process. Involvement is developed through the fruit of the spirit in the life of the counselor.

You need to be walking in the spirit, full of the spirit, manifesting the fruits of the spirit, and as you are doing that, you will be more effective at winning the soul, gaining involvement concerning the person to whom you are ministering. Involvement is developed through effective verbal communication. You must consider as you seek to gain involvement in the life of the person. That you are giving counsel to, you must consider, the words that you speak, the choice of your words, the tone in which you speak the words, the timing of the, of, of the time in which you say what it is that you say these are all just aspects of gaining involvement, effective communication involvement is developed as well through good listening, good listening.

This would include good eye contact, good body posture, mirroring to the person that you're seeking to minister to back to them what they have said to ensure that you understand what they have said and asking them if you do have right understanding as you do this type of stuff, you will gain involvement in the life of the person to whom you are giving counsel and then finally involvement is also developed through effectively fulfilling. The remaining 7 eyes in the counseling process.

What are the remaining 7 I's, you ask? Well, I will give you the answer.

The next I is inspiration, OK? So we start with involvement. We don't necessarily, the, the, the order is sequential, but it, you don't necessarily have to follow things in this same order, but it seems to work out that way. in some measure, but the next I is inspiration.

What is inspiration? This is the process in which the counselor seeks to instill hope that is rooted in the gospel. This is so important and any time anyone coming along with problems, with trials, with struggles of life, struggling with sin, any time a person like that comes along. that becomes an opportunity for you in which you have to seek to inspire them.

With biblical hope that is rooted in the gospel. Turn to Hebrews 6:19. Let's read what the author of Hebrews there says concerning hope. There are thousands of benefits to having biblical hope, and I think this passage does a beautiful job of, of touching the surface here.

Hebrews 6:19. The writer says this hope. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, this hope we have, well, what is the hope that he is referring to in the larger context it becomes clear that the hope is a hope pertaining to the Old Testament promises which find fulfillment in the Lord Jesus Christ, finding fulfillment in the very person and the work of the Lord Jesus Christ, and so he is the basis upon which we have hope. And so this hope.

The Lord Jesus Christ is the basis upon which we have hope. This is the hope he refers to. This hope we have as an anchor to the soul. Now I want you to think in terms of two ships out there in the middle of the ocean, and both ships are surrounded by rock formations, some of which are jutting out of the water, and one of these two ships has a good solid heavy anchor and so that anchor has been thrown over the side of the ship, dropped into the water, and landed at the floor of the ocean.

Then imagine that a a a big storm comes sweeping through a crazy storm, a typhoon-like storm comes sweeping through, and all of a sudden the waters are totally crazy and choppy and the boats are beginning to fill with water and you've got this one with the anchor and the one without the anchor. What is going to happen as the storm passes through and by the time it ends, the boat without the anchor is going to, is, is gonna be shipwrecked. It's gonna be smashed into the rocks.

It's gonna go astray.

It's gonna, it's gonna. Gonna sink into the water as a result of being broken apart, but the one with the anchor is going to be protected. It is going to experience stability. It is not going to be easily shaken from its position.

There's a sense of protection when the boat is anchored, and biblical hope serves as a protection. It is an anchor to the soul and so God would have you to be used in the life of a person needing counsel to instill in them biblical hope. There are countless benefits of biblical hope, some of which I've touched upon. Here are some other things.

Biblical hope helps one through trials. It helps to prevent depression. It is an antidote to depression. It helps one have patience and even patience in the midst of trials.

Biblical hope helps a person, obey the Lord. It results in obedience. It helps to produce holiness. It aids in boldness.

These are all benefits. It helps to make one experience joy and to be glad in the Lord. Biblical hope helps to bring about. Peace that that overwhelming sense of well-being, even in the midst of the difficulties of life, biblical hope, hope serves as an anchor to the soul, and God would have you to minister hope to the people that come your way who are in need of counsel, and I don't think there's any exception.

Somewhere along the way you must minister. Biblical hope to the person and so that person comes to you struggling with singleness. What do you do? What do you say?

How do you encourage that person? This person is lonely, struggling with singleness, or maybe this person is struggling with the fact that a loved one has passed on and now they are alone. What do you do? You direct them to the gospel.

Why? Because they're in the gospel is the basis for their hope. You direct them to the person and the work of the Lord Jesus Christ and you say to that person, what? And you do it gently, graciously, compassionately, but you tell that person, the Lord Jesus Christ understands.

He understands what it's like. When he is left alone there at the cross, he had to cry out to God, my God, why have you forsaken me? And prior to that his disciples left him and so you're dealing with the issue of loneliness know that in the gospel you have one who understands what it is like to be lonely and you can actually look at yours. Situation as an opportunity given by God in your life to help you to relate better to the gospel.

This is an opportunity for growth and so what you do is you turn what it is that a person is going through into the positive and help them to see it from a God-centered perspective, from a gospel centered perspective, so that as a result they can experience the biblical hope that anchors their soul so that they can experience stabilization. The person comes along. And has been greatly sinned against. Someone has sinned against this person, they're coming to you and you have an opportunity to impart life and in the process of imparting life, what you do is you help this person to understand.

Maybe they know it already, but they need to hear it through your mouth, that the Lord Jesus Christ Himself also experienced being sinned against. Come with me and look at the Lord Jesus Christ, see what the Lord did in response to having been sinned against. He says, Father, forgive them and likewise God would call you to do the same. Father, forgive that person who has sinned greatly against me for that person does not know what he or she is doing and so you offer this biblical hope you connect them to the gospel which is the foundation for hope and you encourage them that way.

That person comes along struggling with submission, the wife struggling with submission to the husband. That person at work struggling with submission to the decision of the boss or maybe a brother or sister struggling in terms of submission to the leadership of the church and the decisions that the church has made and they're struggling and it's a hard struggle for them. What do you do? You bring them to the gospel.

Jesus understands they're in the garden here he was sweating as it were great drops of blood in total agony. Struggling with the issue of the will of the Father for him, and he said, 00 Father, if it is at all possible, let this cup pass from me. He knows what it is like to struggle with authority, and yet he did not sin. He obeyed the will of his father.

He goes on in his prayer to. His father and he says nevertheless not my will but yours be done and the person coming along in need of biblical hope the person coming along, in in in this a situation in which they're struggling with authority, you can direct them to the Lord Jesus Christ and his example. Maybe someone comes. There's I, I hate to be bound to.

It bugs me Anyway, I, I, I need a counseling session after this sermon is over. someone comes along and, and they have been struggling with a life dominating sin. The sin of anger, the sin of lust, the young man who has been involved in pornography for 10 years of his life and he just can't seem to withdraw himself from that, someone coming along struggling with materialism or there are some heart idolatries that that person is aware of in their heart and they just can't seem to get away from it.

This person comes along struggling with sin.

And God calls you to instill hope. And what you do is you take that person and you direct that person to the cross and you help that person to realize that there is a solution to the condemnation that you feel. There is a solution to the guilt that you are experiencing because they're at the cross, all of your sin, all of what it is that you are struggling with was. Laid upon the very back of your savior who in your place took the punishment of Almighty God, receiving upon Himself the wrath of the Father.

And so you, therefore, according to the scripture, based on the authority of the scripture, you are no longer under condemnation. You have been set free from this law of sin and of death. Death and you no longer have to yield the members of your body to sin as instruments of wickedness. You don't have to do that.

Furthermore, Jesus Christ not only died to deal with your guilt, but he was raised bodily and the very same power that was at work in his life raising him from the dead is the power that you have available to yourself. So that you no longer have to flip to that pornographic page anymore. You no longer have to turn the Internet on and go surfing the net for pornographic images anymore. You no longer have to yield the members of your body to anger, to materialism, to laziness, to, to self-centeredness and selfishness.

You have been set free and God wants to use you. And the words you speak as life giving words rooted in the gospel so that the person being ministered to can be encouraged with biblical hope if you omit this from your counseling perspective you are way off base. This applies, I submit to you almost every time in the in the process of counseling. And so we move on to the next I, inventory.

Oh, this is so important inventory. Involves getting as much personal data from the councilee as possible in order to best understand the actual and potential variables leading to the problem. This is a vital step toward finding the best biblical solution to the problem. You see, we haven't even arrived at the stage of instruction yet.

We're not there yet. We're still gaining involvement. We are still, instilling hope, seeking to encourage the person. Part of what we need to do as well is take inventory.

Listen to what the writer of Proverbs says in Proverbs 18:13. He who gives an answer before he hears it is folly and shame to him. And I'm sure many of you have experienced someone giving to you counsel without even discerning what's going on in your heart, and the end result is you get discouraged by it. Be very careful that when you move to the place of instructing that you actually do so on the basis of having asked the right questions, having discerned what is going on in the heart, having taken inventory, collecting data.

In James 1:19, James says, everyone is to be quick to hear, quick to hear. Listen to what is going on in the heart of the person. Whom God wants you to give counsel to be quick to hear, slow to speak. Proverbs 25, a plan in the heart of a man is like deep water.

But a man of understanding is able to draw it out. And would it be that God would use you in the life of a person that you may be counseling in order to draw out the matter of the heart. And it takes a wise person to do that. That plan in the heart is like deep water.

It's hard to get after, it requires a lot of work, a lot of skill, insight, wisdom. But the man of understanding is able to draw it out. Let me submit to you that you need to gather data from all of the different areas of a person's life. Often times we underestimate the value of data gathering, and it's important for us to understand, all of the various details of a person's life, ask them questions concerning their marriage, their church, their education, their.

Emotional life, their financial situation, the things that they like to do, their social life, their relationship, their friends, their family ask them all kinds of questions. It's not enough that someone comes to you and says I struggle with anger, but go below the surface and ask the questions and explore the various aspects of this person's life go into their history, go into their past to find out where the pattern began. And really seek to try to fully understand the life picture of the person to whom God is calling you to give counsel so that when that person on the basis of your knowledge of that person, you're in a better place where you can interpret what's going on and eventually instruct them in the ways of the Lord and give to them the counsel that comes from God.

Gather data from the various aspects of the person's life, ask them.

how is your relationship to the Lord? What about your devotional times? What about your prayer life? So on and so forth.

Data should be gathered in order to discern the heart. You wanna know what is going on in terms of the thoughts, the feelings, the behaviors, the desires. And therefore appropriate questioning is essential, appropriate listening again is essential. There are various means to gather data without getting into the details.

One of the best ways is by simply hanging out with a person, asking questions, and getting to know them. So this brings us to the place having, having gathered the data, having discerned the, the, the, the heart of the individual, having known the idols of the heart, knowing them in terms of the outer person, the things that they do and the inner person, the, the thoughts, the feelings and the emotions and even the volition, we, we know this person really well we are then in a place in which we are able.

To interpret what is going on. This step of interpretation.

Involves interpreting the data gathered in light of the Bible and then deciding how best to counsel. The councille, it means knowing exactly what the problem is and then determining how to solve or deal with the actual problem from a purely biblical perspective and as I have said before in the interpreting process you've got to discern the heart. Yeah, you pay attention to the elder man, but you wanna pay attention to the inner man as well and discern what is going on in the heart, know the heart.

The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart and know the heart you need to use the information that you are gathering to look for themes and or sinful patterns look for themes and sinful patterns that you observe in the life of this person.

You should be looking for repeating sins. Look for the common circumstances that lead to the sinful patterns in the life of this person. Look for common ways in which this person deals with his or her sins and problems and difficulties of life. Consider the councilor's thoughts and and actions both before, during, and after the sin that they commit, OK?

You want to, you want to unpack those things in the process of interpretation, evaluate the data against the backup of God's word. And then once you have what you think is a good educated guess, a good interpretation, you want to test the validity of your interpretation, test the validity of your interpretation. It means you gotta prayerfully review the data that you have gathered and review it in light of the standard of God's word. Continue to gather data because further information gathered may cause you to reinterpret.

What you think is going on, sometimes we think we have it nailed concerning a person and what they're dealing with and what they're struggling with and the counsel we need to give them, but then all of a sudden another item surfaces and then all that just throws everything into a muck and we have to go back. Can reassess what our interpretation is, but you continue to gather data and allow that extra information to shape your thinking. Perhaps it'll confirm your initial, interpretation or perhaps it would serve to reject your initial interpretations, but, continue to gather data.

That's one way of testing the validity of your interpretation.

Run your interpretation through a trusted friend. Be careful here. You don't wanna be guilty of the sin of gossip, but there are, at times appropriate ways in which you can ask another person to get their, their insight concerning the matter. And maybe this is a good thing to do.

Just ask the person that you are seeking to minister to. I, I, I, I think I, I, I have a sense of what's going on here. Is it OK if I share with you? Oh yeah, it's OK and then proceed to share with that person what you think is going on and if the person is open and honest, that can serve to be very helpful to you because they may tell you, what, you've nailed it on the head.

that time years ago in which I was in Pastor Milton's office and I needed some counsel, there were some things that I arrived at by way of my own interpretation of what my struggles were all about and he simply confirmed what I thought. And any wonder I was able to leave the office feeling like I was floating. In the clouds I was encouraged through the counsel that he gave to me and part of what he did is he tested the validity of his interpretation by asking me and it rang a bell.

It rang a bell for me.

It is also important in the interpretive, the stage in which you are interpreting what is going on to create some practical plan for helping this person overcome the problem they have. Come up with a practical plan. I'll say more about that in a minute. So we move on to the next eye.

Once you have, gained involvement, you have inspired them, you have given to them biblical hope, you have taken good inventory, you have interpreted it and you've tested your interpretation, and you seem to be right on the money. you get to the place in, in, in which you are going to instruct that person from the word of God. You're going to instruct them from the perspective of a Christian worldview. You will instruct them from the basis of the gospel.

And you will give them instruction that is going to help them to move from the struggle that they are having into a place in which they are experiencing victory, not that the struggle is removed necessarily or the difficulty, but they are victorious in the midst of the vic in in the midst of the struggle, so instruction. Instruction instruction involves teaching the counselee from God's word in a way that relates scripture to his or her life. Ultimately the goal of instruction is personal sanctification characterized by a life of love and obedience to the glory of God.

Keeping in mind that verse that says there is power, the power of life and death is in the tongue, keep that in mind as you proceed with instruction.

Paul in Ephesians says to the Ephesians, and we can use this by way of application in our instruction phase of counseling. he says, let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment that it may give grace to those who hear, in this case to the person or to the couple who is hearing. Ultimately God wants to use your instruction in their life to minister His grace to them. In instruction we insist on the Bible as the authority that it's the ultimate authority and we also insist that God's word is sufficient, it is a sufficient resource we, we can use it in the life of a person to help them move in the direction of sanctification and growth and holiness.

If you consider God's word and what it says about itself, 2 Timothy 3:16, all scripture is what? Two things it is inspired by God and it is profitable, inspired and profitable. Scripture are those two things. It is inspired and profitable, and in relation to profitable, it is profitable for.

Profitable for my mind is drawing a blank teaching reproof, correcting and training in righteousness so it's profitable for those things teaching reproof, correction and training in righteousness so that the ultimate goal of it all is the man of God may be basically mature equipped for every good work, thoroughly equipped a mature man experiencing the fullness of God. So we insist on utilizing the word because it is what God wants to use in the life of a person, His word, to help them to grow in their sanctification.

The Psalm says, Thy word I have hidden in my heart so that I might not sin against thee, and there's numbers of verses we could turn to. The instruction that we give has to be based upon an accurate understanding of God's word.

It has to be totally relevant to the individual. The biblical instruction must be appropriate to the councilor's problem, need, maturity level, stability, teachability, background, abilities, and learning style. Bottom line here, it's got to be appropriate to the person. What does Paul say in 1 Thessalonians 5:14?

He says, admonish the unruly. Encourage the faint hearted, help the weak, and then he goes on to say, be patient with all men, be patient with all of these, but what is Paul saying there? There are 3 different types of people. Now there's more than that, but just he just picks 3 different types in that particular passage, the, the unruly, the faint hearted, the weak.

And what does he say concerning your approach to each of them? You adapt your approach to where they're at admonish the unruly encourage the faint hearted, help the weak, and as you are doing so be patient with all of them, OK? And so we want to be very sensitive to where the person is at in terms of the instruction that we give to them. It may be that a person is struggling with laziness, and we think, man, they are unruly.

We need to admonish them. Well, maybe you're right. But maybe you're wrong. Maybe that person is struggling with laziness as a result of great discouragement that is in this person's heart and so what this person really needs is not so much the admonishment as much as this person needs encouragement.

And sometimes you can totally miss the matter of the heart because you're totally looking at the, the externals. Sometimes you're on the money, sometimes you're not. That's why you've gotta take good inventory to totally know what is going on in the heart of a person. adapt your approach to where the person is at, discern where the person is at, admonish the unruly, encourage the faint hearted, help the weak, be patient with all men.

And so the instruction that we give needs to be appropriate to the individual. And oftentimes the person that we are seeking to give counsel to needs to be reminded of and even encouraged with certain truths, the sufficiency of God's word. The person of God help them to develop a right view of God. Most sin ultimately is rooted in a person having a wrong view of God.

Person is struggling and oftentimes at the heart of the struggle is a wrong view of who God is. They might say the right things, but practically speaking, they have a wrong view of who God is and oftentimes you need to help them to see God afresh. More clearly and as a result they are able to experience movement in the right direction towards transformation. Sometimes you gotta teach the person, about the idolatry that is in their own heart.

You wanna help them to understand the relevance of the gospel to whatever it is that they're struggling with and you may need to give to them specific passages that relate specifically to whatever it is that they are struggling with. these are just all things to keep in mind in the instructional phase. You do want in the instruction to give to them a good solid hardcore concrete plan that they can implement so that if they implement it, they will grow as a result. Moving to the next eye, the next eye of inducement.

Inducement involves getting the council lead to commit to God in his ways and be willing to do whatever is biblically necessary in order to grow spiritually and honor the Lord. Again, inducement involves getting the counseling to commit to God and His ways. Get the person to say, what, I will obey the Lord. Choose for yourself this day who you will serve.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Therefore, offer your bodies a living sacrifice. I beseech you to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord. Take off the sin and, and be renewed in your mind and put on holiness.

Every command of the scripture in essence is an inducement command. It is God trying to get his people to walk in his ways and to follow his ways, and part of what you wanna do is you want to secure commitment from the person that you are giving counsel to, getting them to say, what? I will do it. The plan that you give to me, I will put into practice.

I will put into action, and we will work on this thing together, and I will allow God to use you as an instrument in my life so that as a result, through the counsel you give to me, I might be able to take steps forward and grow. And so again, the importance of inducements. There are various reasons for commitment, various reasons as to why the person should surrender their life to the Lord that you can present, and sometimes you need to present these reasons. what?

If you do this, God will be glorified. You have the ability through obedience through taking that step of faith, through laying aside the sin, or through, trusting in the Lord amidst the trial, you have the ability to be an expression through which God's glory is manifest. God can be glorified. You may need to help this person to understand, you yourself will experience sanctification.

Just take that first step. I know it's hard. I know that it seems like it's impossible for, for you to take that first step of faith, but do it because if you do, That first step in the right direction is the 1st step to the 2nd step to the 3rd step, and in due time, you will experience yourself at some point in the future, experiencing victory in Jesus Christ, living to the glory of God, glorifying Him, being sanctified, and you will experience the personal blessings that come along with that.

You will put yourself in a place in which you can be used of this mighty God in the lives of people around you for their sanctification as well.

See, part of what we're doing here is we're continuing to encourage and to instill hope and we're helping them to understand that there are good reasons why they should obey and we wanna get them to commit. Sometimes in the scripture, God uses the thread of hell. And those passages where the Lord Jesus Christ says, if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. And if you don't, you're gonna go to hell thing, right?

And so, and so sometimes you may need to, to admonish a person in that regard. Somehow, some way to get them to be motivated to, to, to commitment. You may find resistance. I don't care what you have to say to me.

I've heard what you have to say to me. I know it is right. I'm not gonna do it anyway. Sometimes people have an attitude about obeying the Lord, and all you're trying to do is be a loving brother or sister, come alongside to give them the counsel that comes from God, and they just dig their heels in, they sti, they stiffen their necks and they harden their hearts and they say, get out of my face.

Well, that's very unfortunate, but in those situations we have a measure that we can take for their good and for the glory of God. Matthew 18, bring another brother along and in due time, if that doesn't work, bring it before the leaders of the church, the elders, and in due time there may be loving excommunication, if you will, that needs to take place in the life of that person for their benefit and for the glory of God. And this is an instrument that can be used. To secure commitment inducement, moving on implementation.

Implementation involves actually helping the council lead to plan and begin putting into action God's will in the practical areas. You got to come up with a plan and get them to implement that plan once they have committed themselves to it. The plan needs to be specific, and I submit to you that the plan has to include. The Ephesians 4:22 paradigm so important.

Put off, be renewed, put on. If you remove any one of those from the plan, your plan is deficient. It's not enough for a person to stop lying. They have to go beyond that and replace the bad habit with a good habit.

Start speaking the truth, and therein lies the victory. Put off, be renewed in the attitude of your mind and put on. something that is, that, Christ-likeness in the place of the flesh. OK, so you need to factor that into your thinking as you give counsel and as you seek to get the person to implement a plan.

It's a hard process. It takes time. It takes much prayer, hard work often times in the life of a person, but the reward is there if they would simply obey God and His word. Let's move on to integration.

Oh, just, I'm sorry, real quick, just back to this implementation thing, sometimes you gotta come up with a real specific plan for the person. Be very specific in the plans. Let's say, for example, someone struggling with sexual lust. They need to come to the place in the life where they acknowledge the temptation when it happens.

They need to learn how to pray during the temptation, looking to the Lord for strength in the midst of their temptation. They may need to move from the location in which the temptation is being experienced or just innocently walking down the street and all of a sudden a beautiful lady, half naked walks down the street and the guy is struggling with lust, move from the situation. Don't just stand there and look, dummy, move. You wouldn't want to say that to the person in the counseling session, but you get the point., you may want that person to identify the idol of the heart.

You may want to get that person to, to, to meditate upon, to quote the relevant passages of God's word to himself in reference to the sin he or she is struggling with. You may want to get that person to rehearse the gospel to himself. In ways that are directly relevant to the sin he or she is struggling with, get that person to remind themselves of the attributes of God that are relevant to the situation. God is present.

God is near. He will deliver you. He will help you. He loves you.

He is holy. Don't mess with him, and as a person begins to envelop the right view of God and allow that to impact how they live out their lives, that is a sure recipe for, for sanctification when applied. And perhaps help that person to to realize that maybe some part of what they need to do is call a person for accountability oh Joe, I just need you to pray for me right now I am struggling with this particular sin in my life would you pray for me? These are just various aspects of a plan that you might develop for a person in terms of giving them counsel to help that person deal with whatever it is they're struggling with and it has to be relevant to what they're struggling with, obviously.

Now we move on to integration. Integration involves helping the council lead towards maturation. The goal here is to see the councilly functioning in a healthy, vibrant, and serving manner fully integrated into the body of Christ, experiencing the fullness of God, experiencing the gospel and all of its fullness. This is integration where God is using them in the lives of other people to be a blessing to the people around him.

This is integration. The apostle Paul in Colossians 1:28 says, we proclaim Him, meaning Jesus, and as we proclaim. Name Jesus, we are admonishing every man and we are teaching every man with all wisdom so that we may present every man complete in Christ, mature in Christ, and this is what integration is all about bringing a person to the place of maturity in Christ to where God can use them mightily in the advancement of his kingdom. The witness is a witness that does no harm to the name and to the glory of the Lord.

Jesus Christ, they're obeying the Lord in the various areas of their life. They're experiencing the fullness, they're full of the spirit, manifesting the fruit of the Spirit. This is what you wanna see and whatever struggle that they were struggling with, that is long gone. It is history.

It is in the past. They are not the person they used to be. They are being clothed in Christ and being renewed in their relationship to the Lord, and they are excited about the things of the Lord. This is integration.

How do when a person's integrated? Give me about 2 more minutes. How do when a person is integrated? They see life through a Christian worldview.

Sin problems decrease in intensity and frequency. Victory is experienced over a prolonged period of time, this is why. 5 little counseling sessions doesn't necessarily do it with someone who is really struggling. And at the first seminary that I went to, I took a class on biblical counseling, and they said 5 sessions and that's it.

And I ask myself, where in the world in scripture do you find that? ministering to people requires a sacrifice. It requires a pouring out of the heart. It requires a person that says, what, I will be, I will be there for you in thick and thin.

I want to be the instrument God uses in your life. Call me at 2 o'clock in the morning. I don't care if you're struggling. Give me a call and we'll talk about it.

We'll pray about it. Ultimately, the goal of all of this is that this person comes to the place where they are fully integrated. They're counseling others, they're exhorting others, they're building others up, they're involved in ministry, they're walking in the power of the spirit, rejoicing in the gospel, experiencing it in all of its fullness. This is a an approach to council.

These are various legs of the table and if you remove one, you're gonna mess up. You've gotta keep these things in mind, involvement. Building and advancing the relationship inspiration instilling biblical hope in the life of that person inventory gathering the data, knowing what is going on in the outer and inner man, interpretation, interpreting what you are learning about that person in light of the standard of God's word. And then instructing that person according to the word of God in relevant practical ways so that that person can move forward in victory and obedience to Christ, inducement in which you're saying to that person, will you do this?

Will you obey the Lord? Will you lay aside the sin? If you're not willing to do that, I have nothing more to offer. You have to come to that point in your life in which, as a matter of the will, you say, I will obey my Lord.

Implementation where you're helping them to apply the word of God in their lives in very concrete and practical ways and an integration where finally glory be to God. You have been used as an instrument of his grace so that through the mouth through the words you speak, life is imparted and the person that you have ministered to is fully integrated in the life body. They are walking in total openness and transparency. They have nothing to hide.

They are walking in the light as he himself is the light and everyone can look at the person and know there is a person who is experiencing the fullness of God. In their lives. And so brothers and sisters, just keep these things in mind. As the Lord brings your way, opportunity to give counsel.

So that as a result you are what God has called you to be. An expression. Of his grace and his counsel in the life of your brothers and sisters, and finally another point. Don't just look to the pastoral staff as instruments God wants to use to give to you counsel.

Look to the brother or the sister right next to you. Look to those in your care group. Look to those who speak to you from Sunday to Sunday. Look to your care group leaders, look to these people and note that God.

Will express his counsel to you through these means and begin to see one another in this light. Let's pray together. Heavenly Father, we just come before you this morning and I pray, Lord, that at least some of what I have had to share proves to be beneficial to your people for whom you have shed your blood. Help us as a body.

To be effective. And biblical. In our approach to council, we ask these things in Jesus' name. Amen.

OK. I want to thank Carlos for blessing us with that message. And again, this, this is a. A very strategic message for where we're at as a church.

Again, Not to beat a dead horse, but, Pastor Milton, he is a very gifted counselor. But if we are going to,