Beyond Forgiveness: Being an Agent of Change (10 of 12)

But let me invite you to turn in your Bibles today to 1 Timothy chapter 51 Timothy, chapter 5. we're gonna be looking at several passages of scripture, this morning, but we'll be hanging our hats on, the basic structure of what we observe in 1 Timothy 5:1 and 2. We've been learning in recent weeks a lot about the subject of forgiveness. We've learned to and how to forgive those who have wronged us in various ways.

Today, we're going to talk about moving beyond forgiveness to actually being an instrument of change. In the lives of the people that have sinned against us. Basically, the question we're going to try to address this morning is this beyond forgiving, is there anything else that I am supposed to do towards and in the life of the person who has sinned against me? Is that all God wants is just hey, forgive and just keep on forgiving?

Or does, does God call me beyond forgiveness? To active engagement in this person's life to be an instrument of change. we're going to observe that God has not called us merely to forgive, but to go beyond that and to influence those who have sinned against us, especially in the church, and to be an agent of change. A word that we're going to encounter and talk at length about this morning is a very important word in the New Testament.

And that is the Greek word parakaleo, Paakaleo, say that with me, Paleo. And we'll unpack that word as we go along this morning. But one writer speaking of this word says this is among the most important terms for speaking and influencing in the New Testament. If you are interested in influencing other people and being a change agent in the lives of, of other people in the church body, then this is a word that you're going to want to study, and you want to be good at paraaleing people.

And this is tied to the subject of forgiveness, because basically, what do we do after we forgive what lies just beyond forgiving someone? God would say, Perakaleing, the person that you have forgiven. In fact, interestingly enough, in 2 Corinthians chapter 2, Paul is giving the Corinthians counsel about how to deal with a brother in the church who had been involved in sin. This brother had repented, but he had sinned against God.

He had sinned against the church. He had sinned. Against his brothers and sisters in the Lord, and he had repented of his sin. Paul, in chapter 2 is telling the Corinthians how to respond to this brother.

And among other things, look at his counsel. He says in verse 7, you should forgive and Perakaleo him. Paul saying, I'm giving you two responsibilities towards this brother who has sinned. And that is number one, forgive him.

And then having forgive, forgiven him, go beyond that, and Paleo him. And so we learn from a passage like this and from others that we'll look at this morning that we must go beyond forgiveness. Love dictates that we forgive, but love also dictates that we go beyond forgiveness and be an agent of change in the lives, especially in the church and the lives of those who have sinned against us., and, there's passages that I could point to in Matthew 18, Jesus says, if your brother sins, go to him and show him his fault.

So he's saying you have a responsibility not just to forgive him, but to go to your brother and help him to see his fault.

in Matthew chapter 7 and verse 5, Jesus says, stop looking at the speck in your brother's eye when you've got a log in your own eye, and you might read what he says in the early verses of Matthew 7 and think, Oh, I guess I should just focus on the log in my own eye and forget about the speck in my brother's eye. But Jesus would say, that's not what I'm saying. He says, first deal with the log in your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly. To remove the speck that's in your brother's eye.

So he's calling us to engagement. With others to help them with the specks that are in their eye, but we've got to deal with our own sin first so that we can then see clearly enough to actually help bring change to the lives of our brothers and sisters who have specks in their eye. And so that's what we're going to talk about this morning is going beyond forgiveness to being an agent of change. You can even say we'll be talking about the ministry of reproof today.

The ministry of reproof, and you may say, man, that makes me so happy. I've been waiting for you to get to this because I love reproving people. In fact, my spiritual gift is the gift of rebuke. I'm just good at it.

It's a gift. I love rebuking and I love hearing others that are, rebuking other people for their sins. but actually, I think you'll be surprised at the basic tone that Paul is going to suggest, even when we reprove other people. Matthew Henry says it beautifully.

Listen to what he says. The three qualifications of a good surgeon are requisite or necessary in a reprover. He should have an eagle's eye, a lion's heart, and a lady's hand. In short, he should be endued with wisdom.

Courage, and meekness. And we'll see all of those traits evident in Paul's instructions as we go along, this morning. As we look at 1 Timothy 5:1-2, basically, what we'll do is we'll pull out 4 instructions to help you and to help me to be an agent of change in the lives of those whose character flaws and sins impact you, OK? In fact, just to see if this is going to be practical at all, how many of you would say, just raise your hand, of other people in the church who have a whole lot of changing to do?

Raise your hand. OK. How many of you are married to someone who has a whole lot of changing to do? I'm not going to ask.

I know I know that we all would raise our hands in all sincerity, and we would say we have a lot of changing to do. We need people involved in our lives to be change agents in our lives as well. And so Paul in 1 Timothy 5:1-2, if you're not paying attention, you can just skim over these two verses, but they are absolutely loaded with help for us in being an agent of change in the lives of those whose shortcomings are impacting us. Let me read.

Verses 1 and 2 of 1 Timothy 5, Paul says, Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters in all purity. Let me reread that. Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather Paakaleo him as a father, Perakaleo, the younger men as brothers, Perakaleo, the older women as mothers, and Pericaleo, the younger women as sisters in all purity. 4 instructions that we'll observe here.

Before we get to the instructions, let me just say that you, you need to appreciate the situations that Paul is envisioning here, that he's providing counsel for Timothy, regarding Paul is envisioning here Timothy encountering significant shortcomings in people in the church. And these aren't just any shortcomings. we all, as we hang out with each other, we see sins and, and we see imperfections, but they don't really always rub us wrong and make us want to lash out in anger.

and so Paul is giving counsel to Timothy, not just regarding the shortcomings that he sees in people in the church, but he's specifically having in mind Timothy encountering shortcomings and other people in the church, whose shortcomings are so severe that they bring about in Timothy a strong urge to lash out.

To verbally strike out against. That's what he's giving Timothy counsel regarding. Timothy, let me tell you what to do with regard to those people whose shortcomings are impacting you in such a way that if you did what you wanted to do, you would surely lash out. at them in a vindictive and even abusive way.

So if we're going to appreciate ourselves, the counsel that Paul is giving to Timothy and apply it to our life, I want you right now, Before we go any further, to think of those people. that right now you want to lash out against. Maybe in the workplace, it may be in your marriage, it may be in the home. your family at large, whatever, it's the people that if you could do whatever you wanted to do, you would surely strike out against them.

And who they are because you've already practiced your speeches in the shower, when you're driving in the car, what you would say if you just cut loose and just said whatever you wanted to say to that particular person. Who are those people? I want you to have a visual of them. Paul in verses 1 and 2 is saying, I'm going to tell you how to deal with those people in those situations, OK?

Instruction number one. I do not. Those people that if you could do whatever you wanted to do, you would lash out verbally against them. Counsel number one, don't.

Don't let yourself do this. Do not, in any case, verbally lash out or strike out against them. Paul says in verse one, do not sharply rebuke. Unfortunately, there's some translations that have Paul saying, do not rebuke, which is Unfortunate because Paul cannot be telling Timothy not to rebuke, because in 2 Timothy 4, he tells Timothy to rebuke.

So this is not a prohibition against rebuking somebody. the new American Standard says sharply rebuke, and that, that helps us, but I think even that is a little too soft of a translation. The Greek word is epippleiso, and it means to strike at, to deliver blows upon. You would use this word.

if someone came up to you and punched you, you would use this Greek word to describe that. So he's clearly telling Timothy, don't punch, or physically strike out. Against anybody and you might say man that never needs to be said. Well, in a church that I attended when I was a kid in South Carolina, there was a punch thrown in a service.

That's how bad things got. And so it happens. Christians need to be told sometimes, don't punch, don't deliver blows. We as parents say that to our children who may be saved, stop hitting, stop delivering blows.

But this word also speaks of verbal blows. Do not strike at or deliver verbal punches. Do not verbally berate. Do not verbally assault or do verbal violence to this person.

In fact, in a In a Greek dictionary of the New Testament that I was reading several years ago, the definition that they had in this official dictionary is it means to snap at. You ever snapped at somebody? You ever been snapped at? This is a word, a Greek word that would convey that idea.

He's saying, Timothy, don't snap at those whose shortcomings. are impacting you. In chapter 3, verse 3, Paul says that an elder cannot be a pugnacious man, and he uses this same root word. He can't be one who delivers blows upon people physically or even verbally, who strikes out at people, and Paul is now using this word, and he's telling Timothy, Do not snap at people.

Do not strike out against other people physically or verbally. This actually needs to be said. To pastors, it needs to be said to Christians, it needs to be said to our culture. Our culture, for one reason or another, that's just the standard way of dealing with things anymore.

You bash. You bash. I remember a few years ago I was going door to door in a housing division close to the church and I was passing out flyers inviting people to one of our services, and there was one house I came to that there were a lot of political signs in the front lawn. And so I had a pretty good idea where this person was coming from before I even met them.

but this lady answered the door and, and she started asking questions about the church saying, do you guys believe this? Do you do this? Do you do that at your church? And I tried to answer her questions and she said, what, I may, I may show up at this special service.

And I said, OK, great. And she says, but let me tell you something. If I hear such and such and such and such and such and such, which I'm not going to tell you, I will bash you. I promise I will bash you.

And I said, OK, well, hopefully, you're invited and we'll look forward to seeing you. And I never did see her. I actually wanted to. this is a great place for someone with that mindset to be so that they can experience God's amazing grace as we all have, but that's the way people deal with things anymore.

They bash. They bash to someone's face. They bash behind their back. They get on Facebook and they bash.

That's the standard way of dealing with things. And in the anonymity of the internet, there's this forum now for people without any sense of conscience to do verbal violence. unlike what many cultures have ever experienced, and so we can bring that mentality even into our relationships and just strike out against and bash. We have that instinct.

It's in all of us. Paul says to Timothy, don't do it. Don't do it. You may want to do it.

You may have the speech in your mind to snap at them and just berate them. Don't let it out of your mouth. there are people. who take pride in the fact that they just say what they think.

You met people like that? Well, I'm just an honest guy, I'm authentic. I, whatever I'm thinking, I say, you always know where I'm at because I, I say what I think. and they would like to label that honesty, authenticity.

God calls such a person a fool. OK, let God speak his mind on this subject for a moment. Proverbs 29:11, it's the fool who speaks all his mind. There are things going around in your head, rattling around in your head, you should never speak.

There are things you really, really want to say and striking out against people that you should never allow out of your mouth. It's a wise person who keeps it until afterwards. It's a wise person who has a filter. And who's thinking, I know I'm thinking this and very strongly, but should I say this and should I say this in this way?

They have a delay feature on their tongue like they have on television and the radio, 3 2nd, 7 2nd delay. Excuse me, let me delay here for a second. A 37 2nd delay or even a week-long delay. We should have that delay feature and wait until afterwards and wait until we have more information before we strike out and deliver blows.

Paul in this verse is telling Timothy, don't verbally strike out against. Now you might read verse one and go, well, according to the text, he's simply saying, don't verbally bash or strike out against an older man. So if it's a younger man, or an older woman or a younger woman, I can bash them. Apparently it's just someone older than me that I can't bash.

So I'll just ask, what's your age? And if they're older, Then I can't bash them if they're my age or younger, I can, but actually when you look at the structure of the grammar of this passage, you see that what Paul says here applies to everybody, absolutely everybody. Paul says, do not verbally strike at. An older man, and so you're thinking he's just giving counsel regarding how to behave towards an older man.

But as you continue to read literally, he says, but instead of striking out against an older man, Pericaleo him as a father, and while I'm at it, Paul says, don't verbally strike out against younger men, but Pericaleo them instead as brothers. And don't verbally strike out against older women, but Paleo them as mothers and don't verbally strike out against younger women, but Palleo them as sisters. So what I'm saying here about what not to do and what to do, Paul says applies to everybody.

Fair enough.

So don't verbally lash out against anybody. Don't snap at anybody. If you want to be a change agent. That's not the way to do it.

Think about it. Most of the time that we bash somebody and verbally lash out against them, in our hearts, we're trying to be an agent of change. Well, I'll show them. This will stop them from doing what they're doing.

And so we strike out thinking this will be productive, but is it ever productive? No, don't verbally lash out at somebody whose shortcomings are impacting you, but instead, number 2, Paaleo them. Perakaleo them. He says, do not sharply rebuke, but rather Paleo.

This word parakaleo is a compound word in the Greek language. It's the word para, which means alongside of, and then kaleo, that means to call. So literally it means to call, to deliver a call from along one's side. And so when you think about just the basic etymology of the term.

What it means to Paleo somebody if nothing else about the term, you already know it means the opposite of verbally lashing out against someone, right? but it also means obviously then to move towards that person to position yourself alongside of that person, and then from that position of alongsidedness to deliver a call. Whatever the call is that is needed, you deliver the call, but you deliver that call from a position of being alongside the person. So man, there's someone in the church that they're frustrating me, their shortcomings are impacting me and my instincts are telling me to lash out at them.

Paul says, don't do that, and instead move towards them. Position yourself alongside of them, and then from that position of alongsightedness, speak to them and deliver whatever call they may need to hear. I'll be asking you a series of questions in this message, but here's some of them to process regarding these situations you may be dealing with. Have you truly made an effort to come alongside of that person whose shortcomings have impacted you?

Have you truly made an effort to see things from this person's perspective? coming alongside of someone, that's a part of what's involved to try to see things through their eyes. If somebody were to interview this person and ask about you and your position in relationship with them, would this person say that you are alongside of them? Or would they say that you are against them, or above them, or apart, or away from them?

What word would they use? they say, oh, man, definitely this brother is alongside of me and I'm thankful for that. Or would they say, no, no, no, he's apart from me. He's against me.

He thinks he's above me. He's away. From me. The basic etymology of the term Peraleo means that you move towards this person whose shortcomings are impacting you, position yourself alongside of that person, and then speak from that position of longsightedness.

Now, in terms of how this word is used in the New Testament, it means a variety of things, and I want to, I think on your notes there's some blanks to fill in. Let's just look at a few of these ways that this word is used that indicates what it can mean to Paleo somebody. This word can mean to encourage somebody. In Acts 15:31, when they had read it, the Gentile believers, they had read a letter from the Jerusalem church.

It says they rejoice because of its Periclesis, it's encouragement. That letter from the Jerusalem church had Paleoed them and left them rejoicing and encouraged. And so, I just want to encourage you to ask regarding this person whose shortcomings are impacting you, ask yourself this question, have I been encouraging this person? Have, when was the last time I spoke an encouraging word?

Have I been celebrating any good that I see in this person? When was the last time I encouraged this person regarding some good thing that I have seen? In them what guys, it takes no grace, no grace. To find fault with people.

Anyone can do that. A 2 year old can do that with excellence. It takes no skill, no grace to look at an imperfect person and find flaws and to point those out. That comes naturally to all of us.

It takes grace. And requires maturity for someone to look at an imperfect person. With many imperfections and struggles with sin and still see evidences of grace in that person. Are you an encouraging person?

When was the last time that you spoke an encouraging word to this person whose shortcomings are impacting you? If you have not encouraged this person in recent memory, in fact, if you're thinking, I don't know, the last time I ever thanked this person for anything or approached this person and shared with them some evidence of grace that I see in them and appreciate about them, if you can't remember the last time you did that, you have no business rebuking them. May we be a church of encouraging people so that when those moments of correction and reproof occur, there's a context of encouragement in which to deliver the reproof.

John Piper says it this way, we should not shrink from affirming people.

To affirm people well is to affirm the work of God in them. Affirming well is both a science that can be studied, learned, and taught, and it is an art. A good artist has a eye. The good artist sees something and then helps others see it.

We can ask God for eyes that see. It's, it's easy sometimes to get caught up in seeing shortcomings. We get so frustrated sometimes that we look at somebody and all we see is their shortcomings. I remember doing marriage counseling several years ago and the wife was so frustrated with her husband.

I asked her, I said, Is there any good thing at all about your husband that you would like to share with me? And she sat there in silence. And after a period of silence, she said, I can't think of anything. we can get so frustrated sometimes that we blind ourselves to any evidences of God's goodness and grace in that person's life.

And I think sometimes God is, He's the artist and he's working on the canvas of this person's life and character, and some of his brush strokes are very broad and evident, and then some of them are very fine, and it takes God years to to develop a particular aspect of their character and sometimes God is working in a person's life who's full of shortcomings and there's a tiny brush stroke of his artistry, and he's looking at you saying, you're going to notice what I'm doing here.

Or are you going to only be focused on what is as yet unfinished? And the flaws and the imperfections make a big deal, guys, out of the evidences of grace that you see in people who are full of shortcomings, because when you do that, you're celebrating the work of God in them. You're creating an encouraging context in which words of correction at times can be productively delivered.

This word can also mean in different passages to exhort, to exhort. Paul uses this word in this way. For example, in Romans 12:1, he says, I urge you, therefore, brethren, I exhort you, I Paleo you brethren, and notice there that position of long sightedness, right? Paul's an apostle, he doesn't say, hey, as an apostle, I'm above you, you're beneath me.

I'm up here, you're down here, and I'm speaking to you as an apostle to you common people. Here's my command. He doesn't do that, even though he could have. Instead, he positions himself alongside of them as a brother.

And he says, Hey, brothers, I exhort you and the feel of this Paleo in a context like this is, let's do this together. Let's do this together. He's delivering a call, but he's doing so from a position of a long-sightedness. And so, Think about this, even parents, I would ask you this in your ministry and leadership of your children, do you instruct and exhort this person whose shortcomings are paining you?

Do you instruct and exhort this person from a position of aboveness, or againstness, or apartness, or from a position of longsightedness. This word can also mean to comfort. There are some contexts where very clearly that's what it means to Pericaleo someone. In Matthew 5:4, Jesus says, Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be Paleod.

Clearly Paleo is something that ministers to the tears and the broken, weeping heart of a person who has broken over their sin. This repentant member of the Corinthian church had not only repented of their sin, but they were over repenting and beating themselves up and at a place of condemnation. And Paul tells the Corinthians, you'd better rush towards this brother very quickly. And he says, on the contrary, you should forgive and Pericaleo him, otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

So you need to comfort this brokenhearted brother who is broken over his sin. And so some diagnostic questions to ask in your own situation, thinking of that person or people whose shortcomings are impacting you. Have you truly forgiven that person? you're like, no, I haven't forgiven him, but, but I want right now to engage in a ministry of reproving him or her.

Paul would say, no, no, don't, don't do that unless it's on the other side of forgiveness. And also as a brother in Christ, are you prepared to minister to the wounds? That you inflict, Solomon does say faithful are the wounds of a friend, right? A true friend is willing to wound.

A friend Through his ministry of reproof, but a true friend. is not just one who's willing to wound. But he's one who is willing to minister healing to the wounds that he inflicts. And so the question is, Are you willing to deliver comfort and healing with the same passion with which you deliver that wounding?

Rebuke If you don't plan on sticking around and tending to the wound that you inflict through your rebuke, you have no business rebuking. No business at all. As parents, whenever we discipline our children, Even if it's a verbal rebuke, there's a wound that's there. That's, that's very powerful.

We don't appreciate that as parents. We got to make sure that whenever we discipline, that on the other side of that we minister healing with the same passion that we delivered the rebuke. I remember years ago. I had told my son Brendan to do something, and he was probably about 16 at the time and And I said, I want this done by the time I get home from work, and I got home and I saw that it wasn't done, and I just very calmly said to him, I'm disappointed in you, son.

And he was like, What? And then I pointed out what he didn't do, and he goes, Oh, Dad, and then he told me a story and it was a true story that was compelling to me, and I said, Oh, OK, my bad. I'm sorry. And so it was all good.

But as I turned to walk away, he said, Dad, When you said, I'm disappointed in you, he said that like, That like stabbed me in the heart. I felt a physical pain. And that that has always stuck with me because I'm thinking I didn't yell, I didn't scream, I just calmly spoke those words and I still stabbed him in the heart. And that awakened me to the fact that when we do speak words of, of correction and rebuke, no matter how softly we do so, there's a wound that is there.

And we must be careful as parents and as brothers and sisters to minister healing and comfort with the same intensity. That we have ministered rebuke to somebody. We hit the mother lode with this term Paleo in 2 Corinthians 7, just very quickly. Paul had written to the Corinthians.

He was worried about how they were going to respond and whether they were going to hate him all the more because of his hard letter to them, or whether they might repent but over repent and be busted up over his hard and difficult letter rebuking them. And finally, Titus arrives with the report that the Corinthians received the letter pretty well and that they still love Paul and God was working in their midst, and Paul, it just made his day. But look at what he describes to them.

He says, our body had no rest, we were afflicted on every side, conflicts without, fears, anxieties within, but God who Pericalleos the depressed, Paleo us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming, but also by the Plasis with which he was Paleo in you, as he reported to us your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced even more.

Paul was a mess. And using his own words, Paul was experiencing weariness and affliction and conflicts and anxieties and depression, and by the time God was done Pericaleoing him and Titus was done Pericaleoing him and the Corinthians were done Pericaleoing him, Paul came out of that process in a state of rejoicing. That's the power of this ministry. You want to be a change agent in the lives of people, especially those whose shortcomings are impacting you and paining you, move towards them, assume a position alongside of them and speak to them from that position of longsightedness.

This word Paleo can also mean to speak biblical truth, scriptural truth to somebody. If you're going to be skilled in Paleoing people, you need to know your Bible. You don't just go to them and say whatever comes to your mind to say. Study your Bible.

Let God speak to you. Grow you and in the process, you're learning the words to say to people in a timely way from a position of a long sightedness. Paul says in 1 Timothy 4:13, Until I come, give attention to the reading of Scripture to the paralesis and to the teaching. And so clearly he's communicating that the teaching of scripture.

is just one way of saying Paraclesis, that Timothy is to deliver to others, and I'm not making this up, guys. But literally, the teaching of the New Testament indicates that to Paleo someone also means to speak gospel truth to them. To speak gospel truth to them. One writer says Paul speaks of his preaching of the gospel as paralesis.

Look at, look at how he uses this word in 2 Thessalonians 2. He says to the Thessalonians, we had boldness in our God to speak to you the gospel of God. That's the content of what he delivered to them amid much opposition for our and then by way of just describing that gospel content, he says, for our paralysis does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit, just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak. Paul would say, you can take the gospel, every gospel truth, gospel promise, gospel consolation, you can take the gospel of Jesus Christ and all that is entailed in that, draw a circle around it, and you can label it paralesis.

If you want a Paleo people, You've got to know the gospel and you've got to make the gospel among the central things that you speak. To those whose shortcomings are impacting you. Let me ask you, And encourage you to ask yourself, this person whose shortcomings are impacting me, have I sufficiently affirmed this person in gospel truth? Have I created a gospel context in which my rebuke can be delivered?

Would this person say that I view him solidly through the lens of the gospel? In other words, when was the last time I evangelize this person with gospel truth and gospel grace? When was the last time I spoke over this person, gospel affirmation? If you don't even know the last time you approached this person and affirm that person in gospel truth, if, if you don't remember the last time you evangelized that person, you have no business rebuking them.

This is the way Paul lived his life and did ministry. He writes to the Ephesians, for example, and he's got, things he wants to correct and challenges that he wants to deliver to them. But he's like, before I do that, let me just take 3 chapters to love on you guys and just, I want you to know when I see you, here's what I see. And it takes 3 chapters to do that, man.

You guys were elected before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before God and love. God predestined you to adoption as His sons and daughters. You are accepted in the beloved. When I look at you, I see that you are redeemed and you are forgiven.

Given and God has lavished the riches of His grace upon you. God has given you His Holy Spirit, who is the seal of your eternal inheritance. You've got the power of God inside of you, and on and on. Paul goes for three chapters saying, when I look at you Ephesians, this is what I see.

And I bet you anything, those Ephesians sitting there, hearing that letter being read, by the end of chapter 3, were thinking to themselves, Paul, you can say anything you want to me. And I can take it from you. Fire away, Paul. You got corrections, challenges, instructions.

Fire away. Because we can receive this from you because we know how you see us. And Paul, he didn't just start Ephesians with chapter 4 verse 1. He started by saying, let me just I'm going to spend half the time I'm talking to you guys just loving on you.

And affirming you in the gospel and telling you what I see, I'm going to spend half my time evangelizing you before I deliver the first command. The first challenge The first rebuke Are you an evangelist in the life of the person whose shortcomings are impacting and paining you? This is all what is entailed in the ministry of Perakaleo. Paul says in terms of how to respond to those whose shortcomings are impacting you, don't verbally lash out at them, but instead Paleo them.

Let's look at the next two very quickly. the third instruction that we observe here is this Stay involved and keep on paraaleoing however long is necessary. It's interesting, the difference in the tense. Paul says, do not sharply rebukeerris tense, and by way of contrast, it almost certainly means, do not just swoop in and drop your verbal bomb.

And deliver the rebuke and then you're on your way. Don't at a point in time come in and sharply rebuke, but rather, present tense, be continuously in an ongoing way paraaleoing the person. The contrast is not simply between sharply rebuking and paraaleoing. The contrast is also between sharply rebuking at a point in time and in a prolonged way.

Coming alongside of a person and Paling them. It's easy to approach people when we're angry and verbally lash out at them and drop our verbal bombs, and then we walk away and we've vented and we're feeling good and we're like when we walk away we're like, Well that went well. Meanwhile, we left that person cut. To pieces I guess I would say.

If you're not willing To move towards a person and speak into their life and stick around for the long haul. To help them with the very area that you have brought to their attention. You really don't have any business speaking. Correction Or reproof to them.

I've seen this happen even on this campus. I remember talking to a sister who had just walked away from a conversation where another sister caught up with her in front of the fellowship hall and for 5 minutes just excoriated the sister. And brought out so many things that this sister had done wrong and just rebuked her one just up one side and down the other and then turned and walked away in a huff. And I and some others saw this sister cut to pieces a few minutes after that encounter.

That's exactly what Paul is saying don't do. When I was a kid, I had a younger brother. Actually, I still have a younger brother even though I'm older. one of the ways that he dealt with and responded to shortcomings that he saw in me was he would punch me.

And he would punch and run. Because he was faster than me, so he would hit me and then take off running, and I never, I would run after him, but I would never catch him, so I could never express. Myself regarding his shortcomings. And respond in kind, but what he would do to me, just punch and run, we can so easily be guilty of that, can't we?

Just swoop in, drop our bombs, and then we go on throughout our day and leave that person in 1000 pieces. Paul says, no, no, no, don't do that. come alongside of them and stay alongside of them and be with them through the long haul and help them in the very areas where maybe there are shortcomings and even where there's not shortcomings be alongside of them and enjoy the grace and the good that you see in them. This is what to do.

Paul says that person you either want to run away from or if you do move towards them, you want to move towards him to bust him up. Here's what to do instead. Don't lash out at them. Move towards them alongside of them.

Speak to them from that position of alongsightedness and keep on doing that. That's his counsel. And then lastly, Paul challenges Timothy to intentionally cultivate a relational context in which this ministry of Pericaleo can be delivered. Paul uses the language of relationship here, the strongest language that That we can imagine, he says, but rather Pericaleo, him, that older man, as a father.

treat him, relate to him with the honor and the respect and the esteem. That is due to a father. The younger men. Come alongside of them and relate to them with the love and the camaraderie of brothers, and the older women relate to them with the honor and the esteem and the love and the respect due to mothers, and the younger women come alongside of them and relate to them and speak into their life.

Timothy, As sisters with the protectiveness and the love and the care that is due to sisters, he's telling Timothy, I want you to move towards these people in the church and cultivate a relationship with your brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers so that there's a relational context. In which you can at times necessary speak correction into them. Just a question to ask is regarding that person whose shortcomings are impacting you. Have I made any deposits whatsoever into a relationship with this person?

Have I, have I done anything along those lines? Paul would say, you need to do that. Don't say, well, no, I haven't, so I guess I can't deliver the rebuke that I really want to deliver. No, Paul would say, actually, you need to change your schedule and move towards that person.

And relate to them As the family member in Christ that they really are, and I don't think Paul is saying, hey, when you want to bust somebody up, stop and ask, Well, have I developed a relational context? No, I haven't. So I know what I need to do starting today is I got to start building a relationship with them with the agenda that I can deliver that fateful rebuke to them. And so I'm going to call them today.

Hey brother, hey sister, let's do some relationship building. If that happens today, This afternoon or tonight you all are going to know something's coming, right? but I don't think Paul is telling Timothy that as much as he's saying this is just the way it ought to normally be. No agenda, just relating to one another.

For the family members that we are with one another so that when those moments come about that correction or reproof needs to be spoken, there's a relational context that can sustain that. OK, may God give us the grace to live this out. Let's, let's bow our heads and look to the Lord in prayer. Lord, I cannot look at this passage where we're being called the Peraleo other people without just being bowled over by how you, Jesus have Paleoed us.

We are the daily recipients of a salvation that has come to us because we have a Savior who left heaven. Glory you left your position of aboveness and apartness and aloofness and you came into this broken fallen world and Jesus, you put your feet under people's tables and you were with us. That's why we call you Emmanuel, God with us. And you experience this broken world together with us.

And even now that we're saved, you are with us, even to the end of the age. You have moved towards us. And not just move towards us at a moment in time, but you remain with us, and you will be with us for all of eternity. And then if that is not enough, you give us your Holy Spirit.

And you say my Holy Spirit's name, one of his names is Periclete. Same root word. My spirit will be with you and not only with you, I'll do one better than that. I'll put him inside of you, and he will always be with you and in you to guide you and strengthen you, and to pour out the love of my Father into your heart.

We have been and continue to be Paleo in the profoundest of ways, Lord, at the foot of the cross, we killed your son. Our sin was exposed for what it was. If anyone had a right to be repulsed by anyone, it was you who had the right to be repulsed by us and to move away from us or to speak to us with nothing but eternal damnation and condemnation, but instead you moved towards us and you came alongside of us and you saved us, and you remain alongside of us to this day. And now we have a chance to look at those people in our lives whose brokenness and shortcomings are impacting us, and we get to mirror this grace.

Jesus, I think you would say to us this morning, we are never more like you than when we Paleo. Our brothers and sisters whose shortcomings are impacting us, make us a congregation full of this ministry. That we might be strategic agents of powerful change. In each other's lives.

Lord, we pray for us as a church, that you would help us in the journey that we are on. As we are anticipating our potential move to Bournes, there's doors that need to be opened, Lord, there are things that we need to have decided upon. We ask for favor for the Bourne's team and for our church, Lord, that you would go ahead of us this week in the meetings that are to be held and cause decisions to be made and handed down in such a way that your perfect will for us as a church would be realized.

And whatever that is, Lord, we're surrendered, we're ready.

Whatever you want for us, even if it's different than what we may have specifically planned, we're ready to follow you and trust your timing. But give us your favor before the city and give wisdom to the Bourne's team and to our church leaders as we sort through issues that have direct bearing. Upon such things, Lord. We thank you for this opportunity to give of our offerings to you, receive these funds and do much with them for the glory of Jesus.

We ask all these things in the name of Jesus, and all God's people said,