Beyond Forgiveness: The Ministry of Trust (11 of 12)

Well, let me invite you to turn in your Bibles today to 1 Corinthians chapter 13, 1 Corinthians chapter 13 for our time of study in the word this morning. this is actually going to be the last sermon in our forgiveness series. We preached 10 sermons on the subject of forgiveness up to this point. and getting to the place of forgiveness and then what forgiveness is, how it gets carried out, and then we've started to move beyond forgiveness and ponder some things that are on the other side of forgiveness, that we hope will be a practical help to you, and today, we'll be, Us dealing with one final issue related to the subject of forgiveness.

So if you want to give a title to the message this morning, it would be Beyond Forgiveness, the Ministry of Trust. The ministry of trust. By the way, Lord willing, next week we're going to take all the passages that we have covered looking at the subject of forgiveness. We're going to make next Sunday morning a scripture reading service where we'll be hit with a full sweep of these passages and we'll be interspersing songs of worship.

By way of responding to the Lord. So we'll try to next Sunday capture the essence of what we have learned over the last few months and hopefully that'll provide a good bookend for this series. but anyway, whenever the subject of forgiveness is talked about at any length, the issue of trust always inevitably comes up. In fact, as I've interacted with members of our congregation over the length of this series, this is the most frequent issue.

That I have been approached with either via email or people in a counseling situation trying to just work out what is forgiveness and, and what does forgiveness have to do. With with trust, George MacDonald has said to be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved. Part of what I think he's getting at is that trust really is a very powerful gift that we can give to people, especially on the other side of forgiveness, but it needs to be dispensed and with carefulness and with wisdom.

And a lot of times it's hard to figure out what that balance is.

There are questions that come to our minds when we talk about the subject of forgiveness, and the issue of trust comes up, questions like what is the relationship between forgiveness and trust. Does forgiveness mean that you have to completely trust the offender to the same degree that you did? before, people are asking that question, and sometimes there are people who think that forgiveness means to totally trust the offender, and so their thought is, I'm not going to forgive if that's what it means.

And so they refuse to forgive partly because they have an incomplete understanding of forgiveness and its relationship to trust or someone may have genuinely granted forgiveness, but they're questioning the integrity of their forgiveness because they're like, Pastor Milton, I don't trust this person.

And I'm not sure what to do about that right now, but I don't trust them. Does my present lack of trust mean that I never really forgave them in the first place, or there's someone on the receiving end of forgiveness, and they're receiving forgiveness, but they know they're not trusted like they were before, and they're like, I don't, I don't know that I'm feeling totally forgiven. Maybe you found yourself in that. A position a child may say, I lied to my parents last week.

I got caught in a boldfaced lie, and And I repented. I said I was sorry and I'll never tell a lie again, and my parents said they forgave me and they keep insisting that they have forgiven me, but they don't trust me this week like they did last week, and something's different and they seem suspicious and distrusting of me and it doesn't feel very good to me. And so this is not feeling like forgiveness to me. And so, both on the giving end of forgiveness and the receiving end of forgiveness, sometimes we find ourselves asking the question, what is the relationship of forgiveness to trust?

Does that resonate at all? In fact, just raise your hand. How many of you would say that you're dealing with some situation in your life right now? In your family, in the church, or in the workplace or whatever, where you're, you're dealing with an issue of forgiveness, and it intersects with trust issues.

Just raise your hand if you're sorting through any of that. OK. That's encouraging. So the message I have for you hopefully will be practical and be of some help.

What we'll do this morning is we'll just take some time to look at 4 truths to help us to understand the relationship of forgiveness to trust and how that relationship gets worked out. In the real world we're primarily guys talking about our relationships with brothers and sisters in the Lord, although there's a lot of applications to our relationships with nonbelievers, and we're primarily talking about those situations in which somebody has acknowledged they were wrong and they've asked your forgiveness.

They seem to have repented. They've asked for your forgiveness and And you forgive them, it's in those situations that you're, that we're primarily dealing with, even though some of what we're going to learn will apply to relationships with non-believers or even with believers who have not approached you and asked for forgiveness or given any indication of repenting.

4 truths to help us to understand the relationship of forgiveness to trust. but let me tell you how these 4 will get broke down, broken down. The 1st 2, of these truths have nothing to do with forgiveness. So I want you to suspend the idea of forgiveness.

the 1st 2 points will have to do with the relationship between love and trust. And then points 3 and 4 will have to do with the relationship between forgiveness and trust. Fair enough. see, trust is the, the mother of all virtues.

All other virtues descend from the virtue of love. So love is the mother of all virtues. All virtues, other virtues descend from, from love. Forgiveness is a secondary virtue.

that descends from or emerges from love. And so what we're going to do this morning is we're going to climb upstream of forgiveness and look at love and ponder in points 1 and 2 the relationship between love and trust. Then in 3 and 4 we'll look at forgiveness, OK. truth number one that we'll look at, and this is regarding the relationship between love and trust, is that love biblically speaking, love dictates that we relate to people with trust and with hope.

Love dictates that. There's no way around that. Somehow, we have to relate to people, especially our brothers and sisters in the Lord, in a way that bears the imprint. Of trust and hope.

In 1 Corinthians 13:7, Paul says, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love is a relational term. So basically what this means is that if I am Loving you with agape love, it means that I, with regard to you, am believing all things. And with regard to you, I'm hoping all things and with regard to you, I'm enduring all things.

This ethic. Of loving all things and hoping all things and enduring all things applies to those relationships you have with people that are really great people you look up to them. You, they don't really wrong you or sin against you. You highly esteem them.

You can't think. Last time they ever violated your trust or let you down or wounded you or sinned against you in any way, and obviously with regard to those people it's easy to say in relation to them, I believe all things and I hope all things with regard to this person. And I, there's really not even much to endure with this person, but I would happily endure anything in my relationship with this person if they were to let me down. Some people, it's easy to live out this ethic.

But this also applies to your relationship with those people who have violated your trust, who have let you down, who have dashed your hopes, who have sinned against you a few times, or hundreds of times, or thousands of times. Paul would say to the Corinthians and to all of us, you need to live. And walk in love. You need to agape love your brothers and sisters in the Lord, and you need to love them in a way that bears the imprint of this ethic that is identified in 1 Corinthians 13:7.

You need to honestly be able to say, I am relating to this person in a way wherein it can be said that I'm believing all things, and I'm hoping all things and enduring all things. Fair enough. that raises the question, what does it mean to believe all things and hope all things? It obviously doesn't mean believe anything, hope anything.

no, we, we know from earlier in 1 Corinthians 13 that love rejoices in the truth. So we can say to believe all things and hope all things means to believe all things and hope all things that we should believe in. And that we should hope in it means that in my relationship with brothers and sisters that and even those that have wronged me and let me down and violated my trust and wounded me in some way that I need to relate to them in a way that's characterized by this ethic in believing all things and hoping all things.

This needs to show up somewhere in the way that I go about relating to them.

What does it mean to believe? All things. Well, at the very least, it means that in relationship with another person that I am loving, it means for me to believe in God, and to believe in the power of the gospel of Christ, and to believe those things for myself And for that other person that I am in relationship with, and then to manifest that trust in God, in Jesus Christ, and the power of the gospel of Christ to manifest that trust in my relationship with that person. And my relationship with my wife, I need to believe all things.

I need to believe in God with regard to her. I need to believe in the power of the gospel with regard to her. And I need to believe those things for myself and for her. And I need to manifest in my, in the way that I relate to her, this belief.

And these things that I ought to believe in closely tied to that is the ethic of hoping all things. which means something very similar. It means to if I in relationship to another person and loving them and hoping all things, it means that with regard to them, I am believing in gospel realities that tend to give me an optimistic outlook. on the potential transformation of that other person that I am loving and relating to, and I manifest, I exude that optimism.

In my interactions with them, it means that I don't just see them as they used to be, and I don't just see them as they are now, but I see them as they will be in glory, and I know that one day they will be standing before Christ in glory, fully glorified, draped in divine glory forever, and they will be an impressive being of staggering magnificence. And when I see them at the present time, yes, I see brokenness, but I see what they are becoming. I see what they will be in glory, and I keep that before me.

And I have optimism and hope about the work that God is doing in their life and the person he is shaping them to be.

Paul operated this way. Read his epistles, and you see him talking this way to believers. everywhere to the Thessalonians and 2 Thessalonians chapter 3, Paul says, we have confidence in the Lord concerning you. In 1 Thessalonians 2:19, who is our hope or joy or crown of exaltation?

Is it not even you in the presence of our Lord Jesus at his coming? Paul's like, I'm already looking forward to the day that you are in the presence of Jesus, fully glorified. And that's going to be such a day of exaltation. And celebration.

And I've got that in my mind. Yeah, I know you guys have broken this right now. That's why I'm writing this letter. I'm going to deal with some of those things.

I see who you are in the present, but I know where you're heading. And I know what you're going to be in glory. And I've got that in mind also. To the Philippians, Paul says, I am confident of this very thing that he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Paul would say, I, I know you Philippians aren't perfect, and I see brokenness in you. That's part of why I'm writing this letter. There's conflict and, and, and errors that I want to help you guys with. I want to try to mend some things, in your relationships here in the Philippian congregation.

Yeah, there's brokenness. I see mess at the present time in your lives, but I want you to know that my heart is full of confidence that Christ is at work in you. And he's going to perform that work all the way until it's fully perfected, the day of Christ Jesus. You say, well, that's easy for Paul to say to the Philippians.

They really love Paul. They've just given him a great generous gift, and Paul loved the Thessalonians. But what about a congregation like the Corinthians? Well, yeah, the Corinthians were the most messed up congregation Paul ever had to deal with, and yet he found a way to even hope all things and believe all things with regard to them.

In 1 Corinthians 1:8, Paul says Christ will confirm you to the end, blameless in the day of the Lord Jesus. Paul's like, I believe this. I am confident about this. That there is a day coming you're not blameless now, but there's a day coming.

I can see it now when you will be utterly perfect and blameless before Christ. And when I look at you at the present, there's a whole lot of mess, and I've got a long letter that I'm writing you to deal with that mess, but I know where you're heading, and I know what you're going to be, and I know God is at work in your life, and that does not cause me to turn a blind eye to your mess. It actually now gives me the courage to dive in. And to address those issues in your midst.

In fact, I would encourage you guys. To read through the epistles, and you will find that of all the churches that Paul addresses, there's no congregation that he uses the word confidence more frequently with regard to his personal disposition toward the Corinthians. Paul just hoped all things with regard to them. 2 Corinthians 1:7, Our hope for you is firmly grounded.

2 Corinthians 2:3, having Confidence in you all. 2 Corinthians 7:4, great is my confidence in you, great is my boasting on your behalf. Chapter 7, verse 16, I rejoice that in everything I have confidence in you. Paul believed all things, and he hoped all things with regard to these Corinthian believers who had a whole lot of mess and created so much difficulty for Paul.

Keep in mind, we're not even talking about forgiveness yet. We're just talking about love and how love Love does dictate that we relate to others in a way wherein we are believing all things and hoping all things and enduring all things, and to endure all things, the only way you can do that is if you first believe all things and hope all things that you should believe in. And hope in if I'm really believing all things that I should believe in and hoping all things that I should hope in with regard to you, that's what braces me at the present time to be able to bear up under all things, to bear up under the present disappointments and the hurts and the tribulations that are caused by those that I love, many of whom are on their way to complete and total glorification.

See, You are on your way to glory, but on your way, you sure hurt a lot of people.

And so do I. but Paul says, if you're relating to one another with agape love, you'll never lose sight of where your brothers and sisters are heading and what they will be. So at the very least we can sum up what we're learning here by saying that love dictates that we relate to other people with Trust and with hope. But there's a second truth that we can infer from scripture, and that is that love also dictates that we not trust too much or prematurely.

You might say, man, well, based on that, believe all things, hope all things, I will just give total and complete unmitigated trust to everybody and every brother or sister in the Lord. If you do that, you're heading for disaster. And if you do that, you're actually not being fully loving. Love actually dictates.

That we withhold complete trust from those who have not yet earned it or developed the maturity that is appropriate to that level of trust. it's interesting. We know that God loves all of His people. God has loved and saved all of his people in the congregation of believers in Jesus, and yet God recognizes amongst His people various levels of trustworthiness.

Some are trustworthy at a particular point of their journey, and others may not be, and God regulates how much trust or how much we are to entrust to particular people based on their level of faithfulness or trustworthiness. Does that make sense? Paul says in 2 Timothy chapter 2, verse 2, the things you've heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, these in trust of faithful men. Paul's expecting Timothy to be able to identify in the congregation of believers that some are more trustworthy than others, and those are the ones he targets for special investment and passing on to them what it is that Paul had passed on to them.

In Acts chapter 3, the Jerusalem church is looking for people to be in charge of overseeing the daily administration of food and funds to the widows who are in need, and the instruction that the Spirit of God is giving to the apostles is not, Hey, there's thousands of Christians, trust them all equally. Just pick any 7. No, the Spirit through the apostles gives this direction to the Jerusalem church. Select from out from among you, brethren, 7 men.

Who match this description of good reputation, full of the spirit and wisdom, whom we may put in charge of this task. Not everyone in the Jerusalem church was full of wisdom and full of the spirit and of good reputation at this point. This is a task that should only be entrusted to those who were mature and worthy. Of that trust.

deaconesses in the church or wives of deacons, depending on how you interpret 1 Timothy 3:11, you don't just give that office to anybody, but you give it to those women who are dignified, who are not malicious gossips, but temperate. And trustworthy in all things. Implied in that is not everyone in the church is trustworthy in all things, but some are, and those are the ones that you can entrust the responsibility, the privilege of deaconing. Same with being an elder, God would say, yeah, these are my people, and I love them all.

My son died for them all, but don't trust all of them to be an elder. Here's the qualifications. Here's the men that I want you to give that level of trust to. They need to be above reproach and temperate and prudent and not pugnacious and manage their household well and to be lovers of good and able to teach and on and on the list goes.

You understand how Even though we would say God loves all of his people, he's regulating here that we, give various levels of trust to individuals, based on their maturity and their trustworthiness. And a great example of this also is inside of the qualifications for being an elder among those. Instructions that Paul gives is what we find in verse 6, where Paul says in terms of who you should entrust with the office of eldership, he says it should not be a new convert or a baby Christian so that he will not become conceited and fall.

Into the condemnation incurred by the devil.

My goal here is not to equate a baby Christian with someone who's wronged you. All I'm trying to do is illustrate the point that God is basically saying here, don't trust a baby Christian. With the responsibility and the privilege of eldership, the same Paul who said love believes all things and hopes all things, says, don't entrust eldership to a baby Christian, because here's what's going to happen. He's going to become conceited and very well may fall into the same condemnation that the devil himself fell into.

That may sound harsh, but Paul is telling us to love the baby Christian. And to protect the baby Christian, Paul is basically saying that love dictates that you not trust that baby Christian. With that level of trust that is required to give the office of eldership to him. He would say that would be an unloving thing to do, to give a baby Christian that much trust.

It very likely may just ruin him. So love dictates that you don't give complete trust to just anyone and everyone. Trust by its very nature is something that is largely earned. Someone matures into trustworthiness, and trust is something that is appropriately given in measure based upon the demonstrated trustworthiness of the person that we are giving it to, and love dictates.

Love teaches us that if you give too much trust prematurely to an individual before they can handle that trust, before they have earned that trust, before they have matured sufficiently, it actually can be damaging. To that person. Does that make sense? Again, we're just talking about the relationship between love.

And trust. For example, not that this ever happens, but someone's 7 year old may come. Your 7 year old may come to you and say, I want a television in my room, full cable access 24/7, every channel. I want it available.

I want a remote control in my room so I can watch TV from my bed and not even have to get up, and I want to be able to watch anything I want whenever I want. I want you to entrust me with the responsibility of managing this television and all this access in the privacy of my own bedroom. OK. What does love dictate?

What would you think of parents that said, oh, what, love believes all things. So we're going to trust you with this. Love actually in such a circumstance dictates that parents dare not trust their child to that degree, right? Because if you give that level of trust to your seven year old, You just might ruin them.

In fact, we, a lot of us in this room right now hearing this are going, I don't trust me. With a TV in my room behind closed doors 24/7 with access to everything that cable provides. In fact, if we're really honest, we would say to people, I appreciate your trust. It's a precious gift that God uses to help me become everything that He wants me to be.

But please love me by not trusting me fully. Don't ever trust me. Don't ever trust me to the degree where you think I can never fall. I can never fail.

I can never stumble. I don't want full and complete trust. I would feel like you're really not loving me if you just totally trusted me in this way. My, I and some of the other staff a few years ago got Facebook accounts so that we could stay in touch with the people of this congregation.

We noticed people were coming to church and there was this buzz. Everyone seemed to know what was going on in each other's lives, and we were standing on the outside of that. So we got Facebook accounts, but there's dangers that are there. And I don't want my wife to trust me 100% with a Facebook account, so I gave her my password.

And I know, I don't know when the last time was that she went on my Facebook account, but I know that anything that I write and any exchange with people or anything I post will be fully visible to her if she chose to access my account. And if I found out that my wife went onto my account and she read all of the exchanges that I've ever had on my Facebook account, I wouldn't be bothered by that. In fact, I would feel loved. By my wife, I wouldn't be offended.

I don't want her to trust me to the point where she thinks that I could never fail. I could never stumble. I could never fall. And so if we're really honest, we would say, trust me to the degree that I've matured and can handle that.

Trust me to an appropriate degree, but love me by not trusting me beyond. What it is that I have matured into at this point. So everyone with me up to this point, OK, so let's move to the third truth that helps us understand the relationship of forgiveness to trust. And now we're getting to the subject of forgiveness, and that is Number 3, therefore, based on what we've seen in points 1 and 2, forgiveness does not mean that we should instantly give complete trust to the offender.

It does not mean that we give complete trust. Forgiveness does not equal trust. You say, Well, where's your evidence for that? Well, let's just as an example, again, I'm not equating all of the people that have offended you with the new believer.

I'm just trying to open up the concept that forgiveness can happen without complete trust being given. And as an illustration of that, and again, the new convert that Paul says don't trust. him enough to make him an elder. Imagine God speaking through Paul, which he is as an inspired writer of Scripture, and God is pointing to the brand new Christian, and he says, you see this brand new babe in Christ?

I love that person. And I have made him my child. I've transferred him from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of my beloved Son, and I have forgiven him of all of his sins, past, present, and future, totally and utterly. He is forgiven by me.

And don't trust him to be an elder. Do not give him that trust at this point of his journey. I have forgiven him, but I know him as a new Christian well enough to know that he should not be trusted at this point of his journey with the responsibility. And the privilege of eldership.

And so if God forgives and at the same time instructs his people to not completely trust someone that He has fully forgiven, then that should open up that category in our minds for how we can forgive other people. Of their sins against us and at the same time not embodied in that forgiveness, be duty bound to instantly grant to them full and complete trust. Again, that would actually be an unloving thing to do. if a child lies to their parents and they're caught in that lie.

But then they cry and they say I'm sorry and they repent for the parents to just say, this child has lied to us and abused a privilege that we have entrusted this child with, but they've said they're sorry and so, what, we just totally 100% trust our child instantly to the same degree we did before the violation occurred. And so we're just going to immediately give full access or whatever back and full trust back to our child again. That would actually be an unloving thing to do.

If a wife is involved in an adulterous affair with someone that she works with and the husband finds out about it and there's this confrontation and the wife repents and cries and says she's sorry and so forth for the husband immediately to say, well, what, I, not only forgive you, but I totally, utterly trust you to the same degree I did before, and what?

I don't even need to ask any questions. I'm never even gonna ask you where your heart's at, what you're thinking about, what you're struggling with, who you've talked to on the phone, how things went at work. I'm not going to hold you accountable in any way, shape or form because I totally trust you instantly. We would say that husband's actually not being very loving to his wife, who has a difficult struggle ahead, or a husband, it's found out that he's looking at pornography on, on the internet, and for a wife to make that discovery and confront her husband and then he says, I'm sorry, I repent, and even if his repentance is genuine.

For a wife to respond by saying, what, I, I forgive you and I totally trust you. You can do whatever you want on the computer. No filtering software is needed. I'm never going to ask you any questions.

I don't need any brothers in the church to be checking up on you. I trust you utterly and completely as much as I did before. Again, we would say this wife is not actually being very loving in the forgiveness that she is granting. Forgiveness does not mean that you instantly have to trust the offender to the same degree that you did before, and that leads to the 4th and final truth that can help us understand the relationship.

Between forgiveness and trust. Having said what I just said, that forgiveness does not mean that you have to instantly trust the person who has violated your trust and sinned against you, forgiveness does mean that you give the offender a legitimate opportunity to re-earn your trust over time. When you forgive someone who's violated your trust, you can say to them, what, I forgive you by the grace of God as a forgiven sinner myself, I forgive you. And what, you violated my trust, and that's taken a huge hit.

I don't trust you like I did before. but I, as a part of my gift of forgiveness, I give you this, I will give you a legitimate bona fide opportunity to re-earn my trust, to regain my trust over time. Imagine the opposite. Imagine somebody saying, I forgive you for what you've done.

but I want you to know that you've shattered my trust, and I will never, ever trust you again. I've come to the conclusion based on what you've done that you will always be what you have been. You will always be what you are today. You will never be anything different.

Than what you were in this moment of sin against me. I have no hope for you. In fact, I can't think of another person on the planet that I have less hope for than you. But nonetheless, I want to give you the good news that I forgive you.

Imagine forgiveness being given. With no hope. No trust and no opportunity for that trust to even be regained. But if I'm believing all things, and trusting all things and hoping all things with regard to this person who sinned against me, I can honestly say, what, I believe in God, and I believe in the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ, that is radically transforming me.

I'm nothing like what what I was 10 years ago and 20 years ago. God's changing me. And I believe in the power of God to change this person. And make this person someone who over time is worthy of my trust.

And so I give to you, this person I am forgiving, this gift, and that is a legitimate opportunity to regain my trust over time. We see an example of this in 2 Corinthians 7:4, again, the Corinthian church had was guilty of a lot of sins. Some of those were sins against Paul. Paul writes to them, First Corinthians and deals with many of those issues.

And by all indications, the Corinthians repent. They are broken, and they're doing some house cleaning and God is doing a great work and they respond to Paul's letter and his ministry to them with brokenness and repentance, even though there's still issues that, still need to be dealt with. But on the other side of their repentance, Paul responds by saying, great is my confidence in you. Great is my boasting on your behalf.

I am filled with comfort, I am overflowing with joy. I know what you guys were a few months ago, before I wrote my letter to you of First Corinthians, but you have responded to my ministry, and there's every indication of brokenness and repentance and change. And I want you to know I'm throwing a party right now where I'm at. And my confidence in you is soaring.

Right now. what Paul could have done. He could have said, well, they're repenting and All broken, but what, it's not going to last. Paul could have been cynical.

He could have said, well, let's just see how this goes, and I'm going to withhold any increase in my trust or confidence toward them. He could have done that. But no, he's responding to their response, and his confidence in them is growing in proportion to what he is seeing in them, and he's letting them know of his confidence. And he's, I'm not only confident, I, I'm bragging about you guys to other people.

I'm talking about you behind your back to other people. what I've seen the opposite of this ethic in relationships just as an example where a husband has sinned in a number of ways. He failed and broken his wife's trust, and God gets a hold of him. He repents, and he begins growing in the Lord.

Evidences of grace begin to be manifest in his life, and everyone else is seeing that and they're encouraged by it, but the wife is standing there saying, I'm not buying a bit of it. And she's saying that's not who he really is. Just wait. Just wait.

And so anything good she sees in him, she doesn't affirm that, she doesn't encourage that, those evidences of grace that are becoming manifested in him, she's waiting for the fall. And when it comes, a few weeks later, she's like, see, that's it. That's it. I knew that would happen.

That's the real husband. That's who he really is. And all in those previous days and weeks, that's the vibe she gave off to him. Now, you're acting all different, but that's not the real you.

I know the real you and I'm waiting for the real you to come out. And as soon as he drops, and as soon as he falls, she's all over it. I knew it. That's who you are.

Paul could have done that to the Corinthians. He could have said, no, I know you're weeping and you're broken, and you guys are cleaning house, but give it time. You'll be back to the way you were before. You're no more worthy of my trust today than you were a few weeks ago.

Paul didn't do that. Paul Allowed himself to respond with a growing confidence and trust in them as God was doing a work in them. Forgiveness means that you give the offender a legitimate opportunity to re-earn your trust. one writer has said this at the end of his life, the chief lesson I have learned in a long life.

is the only way you can make a man trustworthy. is to trust him. And the surest way to make him untrustworthy. is to distrust him.

You see, trust is largely something that is earned, but it's not only that. Trust is not just something that is earned, it's also something that you give as a gift for someone to live up to. Which means that you give trust to the degree that someone has earned it, but then you take the risk and allow yourself to be vulnerable and allow your trust to go a little bit beyond what has been earned. And you give that person that gift and allow them the opportunity to live up to that trust and prove themselves worthy of that trust.

There's risk there and there's the potential to be let down, but that's part of what it means to walk in love. Dave Harvey says it this way in counseling husbands and wives. and how they should speak to one another. He recommends this where one spouse essentially communicates to the other saying, I know that you are a sinner like me and you will sin against me, just like I sin against you, but I refuse to live defensively with you.

I'm going to live leaning in your direction with a merciful posture that your sin and weakness cannot erase. Imagine that But what couples do instead? What they do is they get hurt by their spouse and they say, I know exactly what to do. I'm going to take one step back and I'm going to build a wall, and they will never hurt me there again.

And then another thing happens and another step back and another wall is built and 1020, 30 years into their marriage relationship they are living emotionally miles apart and both of them are living in separate impregnable. Fortresses that cannot be penetrated. And they're even at a point where they can't even hurt each other anymore. They're so Protected from one another by all of those walls.

And what's being suggested here. I'm a sinner. I know you're a sinner and you've sinned against me. I've sinned against you, and I know that we're going to fail each other in the days to come, but I'm willing to be vulnerable and I'm willing to live leaning in your direction.

And giving you that opportunity to regain. My trust. Over time We have in the New Testament examples of this, I think just real quickly of John Mark, who traveled as Paul and Barnabas's personal assistant on their first missionary journey, but then he abandoned them in Acts 13 and returns to his mommy in Jerusalem. And then Paul and Barnabas finished that first missionary journey and in Acts 15, Paul says to Barnabas, Hey, let's do a second trip and visit all these churches that we planted on our first missionary journey.

And Barnabas says, Great, but what, we need a personal assistant to travel with us, and I got the perfect guy, John Mark. And in Acts 15 Paul it says kept on insisting that they not take him because he had abandoned them. When they were in Pamphylia. And the fact that he had to keep insisting not to take him means Barnabas kept insisting that they do take him, and so they disagreed, went their separate ways, and Paul went with Silas and Barnabas went with John Mark, and what, they accomplished twice as much for the kingdom of God, and there's every indication that John Mark proved worthy of Barnabas's trust.

And you might say, well, shame on Paul for not being willing to trust John Mark. Well, he didn't trust John Mark. It was his opinion that, yeah, I've forgiven him, but I don't trust him enough to have him be my personal assistant at this point. But what, Paul never wrote John Mark off.

Paul still believed all things with regard to John Mark. Paul still believed in the work of God and John Mark's life. We know this because in Colossians 4:10, Paul is telling the Colossian congregation, hey, when John Mark comes to see you, welcome him. Welcome him.

And in Paul's final letter to Timothy, he says to Timothy, in 2 Timothy, I want you to come and visit me. And hey, on your way, pick up Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service. Paul forgave John Mark. And obviously opened his heart to him and gave John Mark the opportunity to re-earn his trust over time.

John Mark went on to write the Gospel of Mark. We are beneficiaries of the trust that Barnabas and Paul gave to John Mark, and I'm sure if John Mark could tell his story, he would say, my, my walk with the Lord in a lot of ways pivoted. On that moment, my usefulness in God's kingdom pivoted on my cousin Barnabas trusting me beyond what I knew I had earned and giving me another chance, and Paul himself giving me another chance to re-earn my trust. You say, Pastor Milton, I just, this is really hard to be vulnerable and allow someone the opportunity to re-earn my trust.

well, let me give you a real quick motivation. Just remember that you were utterly 100% untrustworthy, unfaithful, and yet God graced you with salvation. And forgiveness, and with his faithfulness, you had no faithfulness or trustworthiness to bring to God, but what, he brought all his to you, and he brings all of that to bear on your behalf. First John 1:9, even as Christians, when we sin, if we confess our sins, He is trustworthy.

and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. The only reason we are anywhere near where we are today is not because of our trustworthiness, but because of his. Also, take some time to celebrate the fact that God literally has nicknamed you faithful one in Christ Jesus. That's one of the names that he calls you by.

Read Colossians 12 and Ephesians 1:1. Paul says, I'm writing to you saints and faithful ones in Christ. That's just one of your names, faithful one. When God speaks about you in heaven, one of the titles that he refers to you by is Trustworthy one, and you're like, oh, I'm not trustworthy yet.

God says, I know that, but you're on your way. And I call you that because that's where you're heading, that's what I'm making you. You're a trustworthy one, a faithful one. and also, God has entered into a relationship with you.

And, amazingly, to even enter into a relationship with you, Christ died and suffered horribly. horribly for you to be brought into a relationship with God. And even now that you're in relationship with God, do you realize that God in relationship with you still allows himself to be vulnerable to pain? that you inflict on him.

Paul says, don't grieve the Holy Spirit implied and that is that we can grieve and bring pain to the Holy Spirit. I'm just amazed that God allows himself to be in relationship with us. Where we can cause him pain rather than moving away from us, building walls, saying you will never hurt me. Again, he sees us as we will be in glory.

Take some time to celebrate those realities that you are the beneficiary of, and then turn toward those who have violated your trust. Forgive them and begin that journey of allowing yourself to be vulnerable and giving them a legitimate bona fide opportunity in measures carefully dispensed to re-earn your trust over time. Let's pray together. Father, you're a good God.

We thank you for your grace toward us. We receive it, we celebrate it, Lord, for the help that you provide us in your word. Help us to walk in your grace, and then to freely give this grace to others. And to believe all things and hope all things.

To such a degree that we're willing to endure all things. And walking The path of love. We thank You, Lord, for this opportunity to give of our offerings to you, receive these funds, do much with them for the glory of Jesus. It's in His name we pray, and all God's people said,