Answers to Questions Regarding Marriage and Divorce Pt.3

The title of the message is Answers to Questions regarding marriage and divorce. Answers to questions regarding marriage and divorce, part 3. And, just by way of review in verses 10 and 11, look at what Paul says. He says, but to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, and here's the instruction that the wife should not leave her husband.

But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And that the husband should not divorce his wife. Basically, what Paul says at the beginning of verse 10, he's saying, I'm going to give instructions, and by the way, the word that is translated instructions in verse 10 is actually the word that means command. It's a military term.

It's the thing that a general would give to the soldiers who are under him. And Paul is saying, I'm going to give some commands. In other words, these are dogmatic commands that need to be followed, and then he says, but not I really. I know that some of you in the Corinthian church are not going to like what I'm going to say.

but Paul says you need to know that what I'm about to say is not coming from me, it is coming from Jesus. I am drawing these instructions from the body of teaching that Jesus gave when he was upon the earth some years ago, and the net result of what Jesus said about marriage and about divorce and about marriage. On the other side of divorce, based upon the substance of what Jesus taught regarding these matters. Here is what I am saying to you, and what Jesus is saying to you, and how that applies to your situation, and that is Paul says that a wife should not leave her husband.

As I said last Sunday night, there were people in the Corinthian church that were wondering, should we divorce? And folks understand. That they had all the same messy, complicated things going on in their relationships that we have going on in marriage relationships today. They were wanting to divorce one another for all the same complicated, thorny reasons that people want to divorce their spouses today.

And Paul says, here is my instruction to you, and that is that a wife should not leave her husband. Now look at verse 11. If she does leave, all right, if for some reason she does decide to leave, Paul says she needs to be very careful that she does not compound her situation further. He says she has two options if she leaves her husband.

That is number one, she must remain unmarried. That is an imperative in the Greek, she must remain unmarried. So he's giving a command, if you divorce your spouse, you are commanded to remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband, Paul says. So here in, and, and look at the end of verse 11, he says, and that a husband should not divorce his wife.

He says, as I apply the teaching of Jesus on the subject of divorce and remarriage. and so forth to you in this situation in the Corinthian church. Here's the application, a wife should not divorce her husband, she must never initiate divorce from her husband. And the husband should not initiate divorce from his wife.

He specifically says if for some reason the wife does initiate divorce from her husband, she must remain either unmarried or else ultimately be reconciled to her husband. Paul doesn't come right out and say this, but basically every commentator would agree with what I'm about to say, and that is at the end of verse 11, he says the husband should not divorce his wife, but if he does, he has two options. And that is that he must remain unmarried. Or else be reconciled to his wife.

Those are the only two options available, Paul says, to someone who has divorced their spouse. They remain unmarried or they be reconciled. So in verses 10 and 11, what we're learning is that Paul is teaching us that a Christian should not divorce his or her spouse and by way of, of context, the idea is a Christian should Not divorce his or her Christian spouse, Paul says, and he then goes on to say a Christian who does divorce his or her spouse should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to that original spouse.

Now look at verse 12, where Paul continues to teach us regarding the subject of initiating divorce.

The question is being asked, should I initiate divorce? Is it OK for me to put away my wife or my husband? and Paul has already given an answer to that, but now he deals with a different situation, and that is, a, a, a Christian who is married to a non-believing spouse. And look at what he says in verse 12.

To the rest, I say, not the Lord. In other words, Jesus did not address this specific nuance of a scenario. To the rest, I say, not to the Lord, and that is that if a brother, if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. All right?

Again, he must not divorce her is another imperative. It's a command, you cannot divorce even your non-believing. spouse, he says, now look at verse 13. Let me flip it around, Paul says, and a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not, again, that's an imperative, she must not send her husband away.

Now folks, in my text, I have 4 statements highlighted here because they're all very similar. You look at the end of verse 10, Paul says the wife should not. leave her husband. Go to the end of verse 11.

The husband should not divorce his wife. Go to the end of verse 12. He must not divorce her. Go to the end of verse 13, she must not send her husband away.

Folks, these are just repeated and clear cut prohibitions that Paul and the spirit of God is laying upon Christians. They are absolute prohibitions here that Christians are not. To initiate divorce from their spouse. However, the question would be raised, well, what about if my, my spouse is wanting to divorce me and they're wanting to leave the marriage and dissolve the marriage and They're telling me, just get out of my life.

I don't ever wanna see you again, and they're filing for divorce, and they're urging me to go along with that cause they want me out of their life. What do I do in that situation? I'm not initiating the divorce. The other spouse is, what do I do?

Look at what Paul says in verse 15. He says, yeah, if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. OK? In other words, if your non-believing spouse is insisting on ending the marriage and is insisting on leaving and they are insisting on divorcing you, then my instruction to you, Paul says, is to let that non-believing spouse go.

Now, Paul is not. Contradicting anything he said up to this point, he has categorically prohibited a Christian from initiating a divorce, but now he's dealing with a different situation where the non-believing spouse is initiating the divorce, and Paul is saying if they initiate the divorce and they are insistent upon leaving, then ultimately he says you may end up needing to just let them go. And he then says the brother or the sister. Is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

So verse 15 is a slightly different scenario. The other spouse is wanting to initiate the divorce, and Paul says in that case, you need to allow your spouse to go. Now there's more I'm going to say about that in just a second, but. you'll notice in this verse, and we talked a little bit about this last Sunday evening, the expression in the new American standard that is translated is not under bondage.

That's a very important expression that is found in this verse, and it is a a territory inside of this verse that many scholars and commentators gather around and draw swords on and battle with each other because there's disagreement over. The range of what this this expression can possibly mean. And as I said last Sunday, every commentator agrees that what Paul is saying is that the brother or sister is not enslaved to have to continue living with their spouse if their spouse is wanting them out of their life.

Everyone agrees that that is clearly what Paul.

Is saying the question mark comes with the issue of can you go even further with that. When Paul says the brother or sister is not enslaved literally, is he also saying that the brother or sister is now free to remarry? Is he saying the bonds of the marriage have thereby been broken and the brother or sister is now free to remarry, to enter into a new marital union? And to be honest with you, there are many commentators that would say, yes, Paul, in this expression is saying to the brother or sister that you're not under bondage to the marriage anymore and thus you're free to remarry.

There are many commentators that would say that we can legitimately understand this expression to be saying that. However, there are many commentators that say not so fast. you need to be very careful, and there are some real problems with taking this expression, to mean that the spouse is free to remarry. And here's what I would encourage you to do.

And that is that when you put a question on a verse like this, and it gives an uncertain answer, and especially when you look at the commentators who have wrestled over this expression and you find them disagreeing on the, the full range of meaning of this expression, you need to just back away from this verse and put a question mark and say, what, I'm going to say that this, this is uncertain, OK? I can't be dogmatic, and my answer. Answer to this question, can an innocent deserted Christian spouse remarry?

I, I'm going to back away from this verse.

I'm gonna label this verse as giving me an uncertain answer regarding this question that I'm asking. I'll back away from the verse and what? I'm gonna look at the things in the New Testament that are clear on the subject of divorce and remarriage. For example, I'll go to the teaching of Jesus on the subject and maybe after I've done my ex.

work on those passages. I will take the results of my work in those clear passages, and I will come back to this unclear passage, and I will see if the clarity of other passages shed some light in telling me how far I can take this expression is not under bondage in verse 15. Now folks, throughout the length of this morning and tonight, that's exactly what we're going to do. And I would urge you to come back tonight because in the message tonight, we will come back to this issue not under bondage and we're going to apply the teaching of Jesus to what Paul says and I think, I believe that you will see that Jesus' words very significantly shed some light upon this passage and letting us know what the possible range of meanings really are.

Here's why I'm uncomfortable taking not under bondage to. to be understood as if Paul is saying, and you're free to remarry. Paul, and either way you take this, Paul's train of thought has nothing to do with some new marriage down the road. His whole focus from the beginning of verse 15 to the end of verse 15 is on this one existing marriage, is it not?

If the unbelieving one leaves, he says, let him leave, you're not enslaved in such cases, but God has called us to peace, for how do whether you're gonna save your husband? the whole focus is upon the relationship of this Christian with the nonbelieving spouse. That's his train of thought. And so please consider that as you're trying to assess how far do you take the expression not under bondage in this particular passage.

But anyway, let me just give you three observations that I make about 1 Corinthians 7 and then we're gonna leave this and go to the Gospels. One observation that that I would make about what we see in verses 10 through 16. Is that Paul prohibits Christians from initiating a divorce from either their Christian or non-Christian spouse. All right, you have to agree with that.

In this passage, 1 Corinthians 7:10 through 16, Paul prohibits Christians from initiating divorce from their Christian or non-Christian spouse. Now he does say if your non-Christian spouse wants the divorce, ultimately you may need to let them leave, but that's not initiating divorce. What we find in verses 10 through 16 is that Paul prohibits a Christian from initiating a. Divorce from their Christian or non-Christian spouse.

A second observation that I would make regarding 1 Corinthians 7, is that in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul offers no exceptions to this prohibition against Christians initiating divorce. Now you may say, well, Milton, I believe there are exceptions based on Matthew. OK, that's fine, and we'll deal with that tonight. But you have to agree with me in my observation of 1 Corinthians 7.

That in 1 Corinthians 7:10 through 16, Paul does not offer any exceptions. Now folks, that's something that's worth thinking about. Now you may say, well that's no big deal, or you may think that is a big deal, so it may mean a lot to you or may not mean a lot to you, but you have to agree that there are no exceptions that Paul offers to the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians 7, which means that the revelation that they are receiving as they in this church are asking questions regarding divorce and.

Issues like that, as Paul sends to them this letter and gives them his answers to those questions, at least in 1 Corinthians 7, he offers no exceptions.

He does not say to the Corinthians, you cannot divorce your spouse unless of course they've been immoral. He does not say that to them. Now you may say that you believe in that exception based on Matthew, but in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul does not say that to them. And you may say, well that's no big deal cause they can cross reference to Matthew.

Well, just understand folks, they did not have the first century study Bible. and did not have the resources that we have today. Paul did not have a note in the margin, that said please cross reference with Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19 where you can get a fuller detail about this. They did not have the benefit of that.

Matthew may not have even been written by the time. That Paul was writing 1 Corinthians chapter 7. At least go with me this far. It may be no big deal to you, but at least go with me this far, that in 1 Corinthians 7:10 through 16, Paul offers no exceptions to his prohibition.

Against Christians divorcing their Christian or non-Christian spouse. Now folks, we'll talk about this tonight, but that, that weighs on me. That's a big deal to me because we've already learned in chapter 6 that the Corinthians had been guilty of immorality. Some of them were going to prostitutes at the temple of Aphrodite.

Paul has to rebuke them. some of the people who had been immoral were married people. Of all churches that would have needed to know this exception. Except for the cause of immorality of all places where it would need to be stated, I would think I would have expected Paul to say this in this particular book because of the very sins that we know for a fact were going on among them with regards to the sin of immorality.

All right, but nonetheless. The first observation is Paul prohibits Christians from initiating a divorce. Secondly, at least in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul offers no exceptions. A third observation is this, and that is that chapter 7, verse 15, the expression not under bondage, does not give us a clear answer to the question of remarriage for the deserted spouse.

It does not give us a clear dogmatic answer to the question of remarriage for the unmarried spouse. Now you may say I disagree with you, I dogmatic, I know with absolute certainty that this means the spouse is free to remarry. All right, if, if, if that's where you're gonna go with that, then, then that's OK, that's your prerogative, if that's the way you wanna interpret this. But I think the majority of people in this room, based on what I have shared with you last Sunday night and also this morning, would agree with me in saying that chapter 7 verse 15 does not give us a completely clear answer to the question of remarriage, entering into a new marital union.

For the deserted Christian spouse. In light of that, folks, when you have issues like that as you're trying to understand the scripture, you want to in all humility back away from that lack of clarity and go to other passages where there may be more clarity and then bring the clear statements of scripture over to passages like this and see if any further light could be shed and helping you to know the answer to the question you may be asking of 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 15.

last Sunday night, I felt like I was hitting you with so many uncertainties and I kept saying this is what I believe but not dogmatically, and I was beating that like a drum, and I got to near the end of the sermon and we looked at verses 15 and 16 and I'm standing up here saying, do I wanna tell them that this could go in two different ways, in fact, in two opposite ways. And I felt fatigued at that point, and I, I sensed that you were as well, and that if I would have said that to you last Sunday night, some of you would have got up and walked out.

And so what can we know? And I didn't want to do that to you and I'm even reluctant to do that this morning to you. I just feel like it's a downer for all of these uncertainties. But folks, we, we need to allow this to humble us.

We don't know everything. Our brains are very small, we have finite minds, and there are many things that we can know with absolute certainty from 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and from elsewhere in scripture, but there are times where we just need to say, what, after all the work and the sweat that I have done. I don't know with dogmatic certainty the answer to some of these questions. So what?

I've done my work, I've taken what the Lord wants me to know with certainty, and I'm gonna live my life and continue studying the word, and as I study the word, I'm studying elsewhere from day to day, and what, maybe 10 years from now I'll come back to this and the lights will turn on, and I'm like, I know the answer to this question. I'm seeing things here that I never saw before. Learning the scriptures is a process. Please understand that.

And I cannot get up here every Sunday and give you absolute answers to every imaginable question because what? I'm still learning. I'm 37 years old, I've got so much more to learn, and I want you to be patient with me as I would seek to be with you and we all learn together. To me that's the adventure of studying the word of God.

There's some things we understand, some things we don't fully understand, but what? Maybe one day we will as we continue to walk with the Lord in all humility. But having said that, go up to verse 10 and we're gonna. Let this be our cue for what we're going to do over the next few moments.

folks, there is no way that we can really understand, and fully appreciate, I don't think. 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verses 10 through 16 without understanding something of, of the teaching of Jesus. Now, if we did not have access to the teaching of Jesus, we would know plenty enough, from verses 10 through 16, understanding, word for word the teaching of Jesus is not required to understanding what Paul is saying in verses 10 through 16. But folks, I want us to take our cue from Paul.

Look at what he does in verse 10. He says, but to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord. Now when he says that, what he's saying is, what I'm about to say to you is not from me, it is based upon things that Jesus said when he was on the earth. Here is Paul about to give instruction regarding the issue of divorce to Christian people, and before he gets a single command out of his mouth, he points them to.

Jesus, and he says, I want you to know what it's, what's about to come out of my mouth is not me speaking, he says, but it's actually based upon the teaching that Jesus gave when he was on the earth. And so Paul then begins to give what amounts to the substance of what Jesus taught regarding the issue of divorce and remarriage and so forth when he was on the earth. Folks, with us having the benefit of having the completed canon of scripture, let's seize that benefit. for us today, and let's go to the teaching of Jesus and see this framework, to see this platform that Paul is standing on as he gives to the Corinthians these instructions regarding the subject of marriage, divorce, and remarriage.

And let's work our way backwards, and in working our way backwards, go back a few books to Luke, to the Gospel of Luke, to Luke chapter 16, in fact. And all of the Gospel of Luke. We find One statement, one verse from the teaching of Jesus on the subject of marriage and divorce, and what he does say is absolutely staggering in its in its ramifications, and we will seek to be faithful to this, even though it may not be easy to hear. And Luke chapter 16, look at verse 18.

Jesus says everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. And he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits. Adultery. In verse 18, Jesus makes two statements.

He's conveying the same point in both of those statements. But he makes two statements to illustrate some very fundamental facts that we all need to understand about marriage. Now folks, look carefully at what he says. Everyone.

That's all inclusive, who divorces his wife. And then marries another woman, commits adultery. All right, so what happens is, here is Mr. Joe Blow, he's married to a woman.

And he divorces her, all right? He writes her a certificate of divorce and goes through whatever legal process that he wants to go through that the law requires. And he divorces her to where now in the eyes of the law, the law of the land, this man is now legally divorced from this woman, and in the law of the land, they would look upon. On that couple as no longer being married, right?

The law would say you're divorced, you're not married anymore, you're both now in an unmarried state because this man has divorced his wife. So here's this man married to this woman, he divorces her and he sends her away. The law now says, the eyes of the law, the law of the land say they're now unmarried. Jesus then says, If that man goes and marries another woman, and marrying that other woman and in consummating that marriage with that other woman sexually or with physical intimacy, Jesus says, this man is committing adultery against this woman that he has sent away by means of divorce.

Now folks, that is staggering because what Jesus is saying thereby is this, that the marital union, once it is begun, is a permanent union, and Jesus is saying divorce, technically speaking in the eyes of God does not dissolve that union. Jesus is saying that the marital union continues to persist even beyond and on the other side of what we call. divorce. And it's so persists that for this man to now marry another and to consummate that marriage sexually, this man is committing adultery against his original wife because in the eyes of God, she is still his wife.

Now folks, are you with me there? Now, that, that people don't like to hear that, that, that falls heavily upon us, and, and, and we're we're resistant to this, but there's no way. Around the ramifications of what Jesus is saying. Jesus is teaching us something about marriage that a lot of people in our society today do not understand.

They do not want to look at. Divorce is looked at as, as if it's no big deal, and, and marriage is just so lowly esteemed by so many people. Jesus says, I want you to know something, that when you marry somebody and you enter into a covenant relationship with that person and you Consummate that marriage with sexual intimacy in that moment, something unalterable happens to both of you and that is you become one. You are married, and, and being married Jesus says the marital union is permanent, so permanent that it continues even beyond divorce.

It is so permanent and so much a part of the fabric of who both of you are now that divorce does not dissolve. that union. Now, the, the courthouse in downtown Riverside may say you are divorced. A judge may slam down the gavel and pronounce you divorced.

You may call yourself divorced, and other people in your life may view you as being divorced. Jesus says you are not divorced. He's saying, I don't recognize what people call divorce. The union still persists.

Folks, you can only commit adultery against someone. That you're married to, right? That implies a marital union or it's not called adultery. That's the meaning of the term.

So a man to divorce his wife, and then after that divorce to marry another woman and to consummate that marriage sexually, for Jesus to say that man is now committing adultery against that woman is to say thereby that that man is still in the eyes of God married to that woman, though he has divorced her. Look at the next statement. He says he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery. See, now we're getting a third individual involved in, in the sin, and here's some innocent man who meets up with this woman who's been divorced, and he really takes a liking to her and he wants a relationship with her.

He asked her to marry him and, and they get married. Jesus says that this man. This man is now involved in the commission of the sin of adultery against the man who had sent his wife away. Look at what he says.

He who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery. In other words, he is involved in the commission of an act of adultery with that woman against the husband who has sent her away. These are very heavy statements that Jesus is making, and folks, please, I don't want any of you to take this personally. Understand my heart, I'm simply trying to be faithful with what Jesus says here.

And what, there are times where I read things in the scripture that just, just come down so heavily upon me, that it reduces me to tears. And I experienced just this unsettled feeling of guilt and trauma in my heart, and maybe some of you may be feeling that or whatever, what, whatever it is that you're feeling, listen, God's grace is big, and it's, it's greater than any of our sin. Whatever you're feeling, just go to God and he'll receive you and, and he's gonna help you with that.

Just go to the foot of the cross, but what?

Don't emasculate what Jesus says here. What some people do when they have those feelings is rather than going to the cross and surrounding themselves in the love of God and, and in the, what Jesus accomplished on the cross, what they do instead is they, they start manipulating the scripture and say, well, it doesn't really mean this. Well, we can't really take it to mean this and they start manipulating the scripture or they say, what, I will never read that verse again, and they just.

Avoid those sections of script we have people doing that all the time in our society today.

There are parts of scripture that people just don't wanna look at, they don't wanna read it, they don't wanna talk about it. It's never discussed. That's why what you're hearing this morning, you're not gonna hear that, what I'm saying in very many pulpits across this land because it's one of those things that people don't really wanna talk about. It's something I don't really wanna talk about, but what, it's what the scripture says.

And so what do we do with that? If it makes us feel bad, if it falls heavily upon us, do we just ignore it and walk away from it and say, well, I'll go read some encouraging passages over here. Or do we twist the scripture to make it manageable and something that doesn't make us feel so bad? What do we do with that?

Well, hopefully you all agree that what, we need to just go to the cross, but we need to let the scripture stand. Jesus is speaking to us here, and let me give you some observations, all right, that you may have already written down. We can observe from Luke 16:18, that in the eyes of Jesus, the marital union is permanent and being permanent, it continues beyond what we call divorce. And because it continues beyond divorce, remarriage after divorce is considered adultery in the eyes of Jesus.

One other observation that we can make from Luke 16:18, and to you it may be a big deal, or it may not be a big deal. But nonetheless, you have to agree with me in this observation, and that is in Luke 16:18, there are no exceptions. To Jesus' prohibition of divorce. And you may say, but I believe in the pro or in the exception clause in Matthew, I know, OK.

But in Luke 16:18, there is no exception clause, meaning that the original readers of Luke's Gospel received this body of teaching in this verse from the mouth of the Lord Jesus, and they did not have in verse 18, any exception clause to look upon. By way of giving them perspective, at least agree with me that in Luke 16:18, Luke offers us no exception clause to Jesus categorical prohibition of divorce. Now folks, let me have you very quickly go to Mark's Gospel. Where we're gonna find Jesus saying something very similar, but he only goes into greater detail with this and we'll probably just skim through this and then maybe tie up some loose ends with this tonight.

Look at what happens in Mark chapter 10 verse 12. Mark tells us and some Pharisees came up to Jesus testing him, and began to question him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife. All right? They're coming to him saying, well, what about divorce Jesus?, is it lawful?

Can a man divorce a wife in the eyes of the law and. And, and be OK in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the law. Well look at Jesus' answer, verse 3, and he answered and said to them, well what did Moses command you? Tell me about the teaching of Moses.

Give me some scripture here. Tell me what it is that you're focusing on as you're trying to answer this question. Verse 4, and they said, well, Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away. Now folks, what they're alluding to is a passage in Deuteronomy chapter 24, verses 1 through 4.

Where God does not command people to divorce another, he's not even so much permitting it as much as he is simply recognizing it is a reality, knowing that people will do it and thus creating certain, a certain case scenario that God gives legislation about. A summary of Deuteronomy 24 is this, verses 1 through 4. Here's the legislation. God says, if a man marries a woman.

And he then finds some indecency in her or she loses favor in his eyes and he divorces her, and she then marries another man, and then that second man divorces her for whatever reason, or that second man, that second husband dies, the legislation is then in verse 4, then the original husband is not allowed to marry. That woman again because she has been defiled, OK? That's the legislation. God is not commanding people to divorce in that passage.

He is simply saying, I know that some of you because of the hardness of your heart are going to do this. You're going to divorce your spouse, and they're gonna. Remarry another and then they're gonna be divorced again, thus creating the unfortunate case scenario that I'm now gonna give you legislation about and what I'm saying is if this case scenario ever develops, then here is my legislation. The original husband is not allowed to marry his original wife that he had sent away through divorce and who then remarried another man, all right?

So, but what, they looked at that and they go, wow. So God is saying here that it's OK to divorce our spouse if we find some indecency in, in our spouse. And the rabbis down through the centuries, they really hammered on that and they're like, well some indecency, so what God is saying is if we find some indecency in our spouse, then God is saying it's OK to send our spouse away and to divorce our wife. And so what the rabbis did?

Rather than understanding the. of what God was after, they started wrestling over, well, what does indecency mean? Because whatever it is, God's saying it's OK to divorce. Well, there was one rabbi whose name was Shamai, who basically taught that well what the indecency refers to is the sin of immorality, the sin of adultery.

If the woman's guilty of adultery, then he is justified in writing her a bill of divorcement. Other rabbis following the school of Hilael. Said no, the word indecency should be more broadly understood. Yes, it includes the sin of immorality, but it also could be stretched to mean that the woman is quarrelsome.

Meaning if a man has a quarrelsome wife, he can divorce her. And by the way, what the rabbi's definition of a quarrelsome woman was? If you could hear her voice from the next house, then she was technically a quarrelsome woman, and a man was thereby justified in divorcing that woman. So be careful ladies, with your volume.

some rabbis actually took it further, and they, they actually, they, in their writings, they actually said this, we have these writings in existence today, where they actually said that, well, this also could be stretched to include if she burns your dinner, if she spoils a dish. Then even that could be within the meaning of indecency. So if the wife is a bad cook and she puts too much salt on on your meal or burns your dinner, then you can say you're an indecent woman and you, under the eyes of the law, can thereby divorce her.

Some rabbis focused on the expression if she does not find favor in the husband's eyes, and they say well what this can mean even is if the husband finds another woman that's more attractive.

Then what God is saying is it's OK for that man to now divorce his original wife and marry the more attractive woman because this original wife has lost favor. She doesn't find favor in the eyes of her husband anymore. Do you see how these rabbis totally missed the point? God is saying, if this ever happens, then my legislation, my command is you can't remarry the woman you divorced after she's remarried another man.

That's my command, all right? But they took this case scenario that God develops as saying, well it must be OK to divorce. Folks in like in Deuteronomy chapter 22 for example, God gives a lot of case scenarios. He says if a man, a single young man, ends up having physical intimacy with a single young woman.

Then that man is to give the father 50 shekels of silver, and he is to marry that woman, and they are to be married all the days of their life, and he must not divorce her. what, by the same way of logic of the rabbis with Deuteronomy 24, what you could say, oh God must be saying premarital sex is OK. He must be saying that's no big deal because he states that it's gonna happen and so he must be allowing that. God is not allowing that.

He's simply saying if it happens, here's my legislation on how to deal with that, and it's the same in Deuteronomy 24. If a man divorces his wife. Because he finds some indecency in her and she goes away from him, marries another man, and that man divorces her, or that man dies, then here's my legislation, the original husband is not allowed to marry his original wife, because she's been defiled now by the second marriage. But what, the rabbis didn't understand God's heart in this.

They go, oh OK, it's OK to divorce, and we gotta figure out. Out what this word indecency means. So that's what they focused on, and so they say to Jesus in Mark chapter 10 verse 4, well, Moses, he gave us permission to write a certificate of divorce and to send the wife away. Well, look at what Jesus says, verse 5.

But Jesus said to them, because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment. In other words, God knew. that you were going to disregard his purpose for marriage, his understanding of marriage, and that you were going to be guilty of divorcing your spouse, and thus creating the very case scenario that God feels compelled to address and that Moses feels compelled to address in Deuteronomy chapter 24 verses 1 through 4, and this whole thing was said because of the hardness of your heart.

Now look at what he says in verse 6.

You wanna go back to Moses, you go back to Deuteronomy 24. I'll take it back even before then. Verse 6, from the beginning of creation. He's going back to Genesis here.

God made them male and female. By the way, it doesn't say God made them male and male, but he made them male and female. It doesn't say God made them male and 5 females, as in polygamy. No, he made 1 male.

And one female. And that is his intention in marriage. Verse 7. Now Jesus is quoting from Genesis 2:24.

For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, and then some manuscripts say and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Jesus says, here's the way marriage works. You enter into a covenant relationship and you consummate that covenant relationship with sexual intimacy. And Jesus says in that moment in which the two come together in that one flesh union, something permanent and unalterable happens to both of them.

Here's what happens. Those individuals that were too, have now become one flesh. You say, well, is that one flesh union just something that lasts during the length of the physical intimacy? No, look at what he says at the end of verse 8, so.

Here's what you can draw from this, Jesus says. They are no longer 2. But one flesh underline the words no longer. In other words, this is not a union that lasts for the length of the physical intimacy, no, it lasts for the rest of their lives, he says from that moment on they are no longer, in other words they are never again too.

But they are forever all the way till death. They are one flesh, they are one entity all the way down to the physical part of their being because they have consummated that marriage with sexual union. And Jesus says you've come to me asking if you are justified in the eyes of the law in divorcing your wife. Here's my answer verse 9, what God has joined together, let no man separate.

That's my answer. In other words, my answer is, no divorce. Well, the disciples are blown away by this because what? What Jesus has said doesn't agree with the school of Heleel.

It doesn't agree with the school of Shammai. Doesn't agree with anything they've ever heard before. And so look what happens verse 10, and in the house, the disciples began questioning him about this again. They get in the house, now they're out of the public setting, where the Pharisees and scribes were, and they're like, hey Jesus, back to what you were saying out there, that, they asked you if it's OK to divorce for any reason at all and.

And your answer was just a categorical no. You say what God has joined together in this institution of marriage, let no one ever separate. In other words, you're saying no divorce. Could you elaborate on this?

And so verse 11, we don't know exactly what they were asking him, but we do know his answer, and he said to them, whoever divorces his wife. And marries another woman, commits adultery against her. In other words, whoever divorces his wife to where now they are legally unmarried in the eyes of the law of the land, and then marries another woman, commits adultery against whom? Against her.

We have those additional words against her, even beyond what Luke gave us in Luke 16:18. Jesus says, you divorce your wife and go marry another woman. You are committing adultery against her, against the woman that you have divorced. Again, meaning you are still married to her.

A judge may say you're not married, you may say you're not married, every. Anyone else around you may say you're not married, your society may say that you're not married, your divorce certificate may say that you're no longer married. In my eyes, Jesus says, you are still married and so when you go marry another woman and you consummate that marriage sexually, I view it as you committing adultery against the woman who I believe is still your wife. He's saying the marital union is permanent.

So permanent that divorce does not dissolve it. He's saying, come on, do you think something you write on a piece of paper can dissolve the union that is created when you enter into a covenant relationship with a woman and you consummate that with sexual intimacy. You think a piece of paper can dissolve that in the eyes of God?. Verse 12, and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery against the man whom Jesus is saying is still her husband in the eyes of God, even if not in the eyes of the law.

Now folks, we're gonna close with this. Let me just give you, again some observations from Mark, and we'll close. One observation, and, and by the way, if you're taking notes, just draw a line all the way back to every observation I gave you about Luke 16 and that'll save you trouble and help you with your carpal tunnel syndrome. but one observation that we can gather from this is that the marital union is permanent, so permanent that it continues beyond divorce.

And thus, with this being true, remarriage after divorce is adultery against the original spouse. And also, this may be a big deal to you, or it may not be a big deal to you, but you have to at least agree with me when I say that in Mark chapter 10, Mark gives us no exceptions to Jesus' prohibition. Of divorce. You say, but Matthew does, I know that.

We'll deal with that tonight. But you have to agree with me that in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, and in Luke, and in Mark, there is no exceptions at all given to the statements of Jesus. It is cut and dry. You are not to initiate divorce.

When you do initiate divorce, it means nothing in the eyes of God. You are still married in the eyes of God. Thus, any new relationship you enter into is a commission of adultery against the woman that God says is still your wife, and everything I just said is true, vice versa woman towards her husband. Now folks, let me tell you what we're gonna do we're gonna spend some time in Matthew and.

And this is what I'm gonna do for you. I'm going to tell you, we're gonna look at the exception clause, that is in Matthew 5 and Matthew 19. I'm going to tell you the way that some people, view it and actually the way that some view it may actually be right. I'm going to even tell you the arguments, the best arguments for that.

that are worth considering. but I will then also give you an alternative way of understanding that exception clause that is found in Matthew 5 and 19. We're also gonna look at some other statements of Jesus and Matthew, and after we've done that, we're gonna gather all those statements up together, consider what they mean. We're going to bring those statements back over to 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 15.

And we're going to see if it offers us any guidance in telling us to what degree we ought to understand the expression not under bondage in 1 Corinthians chapter 7:15. OK? So just be patient as we continue to look at this very difficult issue, but let's bow our heads as we look to the Lord in prayer. every time I look at these passages in the Gospels.

I My, my view of marriage just gets higher and higher. It's sobering. In fact, what the disciples say after they hear Jesus say these things? And Matthew chapter 19, when they get done hearing Jesus talk about all this, they say Jesus, if marriage with the woman is this way, it's better not to marry at all.

If it is such an awesome. Unchangeable institution. Then, man, it's better to just stay single. And what Jesus says?

In a way, he says, what, you're, you're half right. This is not something to be entered into lightly. I know those of you that are here that are single, that have never been married. let this just shake you to the core.

Marriage is serious. So many people in our society today that are doing what you could call serial monogamy. It's going from one spouse to the next. Julia Roberts made front page news and People magazine this week, just another marriage, yet another marriage has come to an end.

We don't even raise an eyebrow at that thing anymore. What's the view of marriage of people who just go from one spouse to another? If you are married, folks, just Jesus says, hey, what God has joined together, don't you dare separate. Don't even, don't even contemplate divorce.

As a potential reality. It means everything you do is to be to strengthen the marital union. To never do anything that in any way serves to tear apart the very union that God has brought together in the institution of marriage. In my relationships with all of you married people, everything I need to do needs to strengthen your marriage.

I need to encourage you in your marriage. You need to encourage me in my marriage. We're to be the biggest fans of the marital union because what God is. If you're here this morning and you do have divorce in your background and remarriage after divorce in your background.

What I want you to do more than anything is to just receive the full weight of what God says. Don't resist it, just receive the full weight of it and like come back tonight and and hear what I think would amount to the full story on it and then just before the Lord just go before him in all honesty and humility and and and and just sort through these issues. But take it very seriously. And if any of you are feeling the least bit of guilt, hey.

There's Jesus He's the one I run to whenever I feel anything in the way of guilt. Run to him. There is forgiveness with him. Yes, your sins may have been great, but his grace is greater.

And know that he has wonderful plans for you. That are for your good and for His glory from this day. Through the rest of your life. What that is, I don't know.

But he loves you. He loves you so much that I think you need to allow yourself to hear the full weight of everything that this lover of your soul has to say regarding this difficult issue. Keep your ears open. Come back tonight as we continue to learn together.

Take just a moment to speak to the Lord and make whatever commitments to him that the spirit of God is leading you to make. Our Heavenly Father, there are times where when your hand is upon our shoulders, it brings a delightful sensation. Then there are times, Lord, where your hand comes upon us and it begins to push us down lower and lower, all the way to the dust. And may whenever we feel that pressure from your hand, may we.

As Peter commands us to, to let ourselves be humbled under the mighty hand of God so that he can then exalt us at the proper time. Lord, help us all to feel the full weight of everything that we've learned this morning to such a degree that we would be kept from sin. And from making mistakes. That would plague us.

And complicate our lives. Keep us from error. And sin in our marriages for those in whose lives there have been mistakes, may they find comfort and consolation. In the blood of Jesus, and the fact, Lord, that you delight to come to those who are broken.

And to just bring your transforming grace into their lives and to do incredible miracles and to use them to just bear much fruit for your kingdom you you love just glorifying yourself by using all of us in this way. The truth is all of us are broken, messed up sinners whose lives have been complicated enormously because of our sin. And yet Jesus, you came into the world to save sinners. Our sin does not disqualify us from you, it's the very thing that qualifies us for you because that's who you came for.

May we find comfort in your love and in your embrace. And I pray as well, Lord, that You would continue to give all of us open ears to hear everything. That the spirit of God The spirit of Jesus is saying to us as a church, through these passages that we've looked at. Over the last couple Sundays and then also into tonight.

We ask all of these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.