The Wife Who Wins, Part 1

I am incredibly excited about the message today. Turning your Bibles to 1 Peter 3, I'm gonna be preaching to wives today. And of all Sundays, my wife is in the nursery this morning. but what I wanna do, today is to pick up with, another installment in our marriage series in the last, message of this series, a few weeks ago, I spoke to husbands and so, To be equitable.

I want to speak to the wives in this, message this morning, and we did not announce this in advance because we wanted you to show up, today. And I'm talking big like it's a scary message. Actually, it's gonna be encouraging, to you, precious sisters in Christ. I'm, I'm blessed to be your servant.

In, in this message. What I wanna do is to deliver a two-part message to wives and part one will be today and then part two will be two weeks from today on July 17th. And then after that message, I have one more message for husbands in August and with that, we'll likely conclude. This, marriage series.

If you want to give a title to the message this morning, it would be The Wife Who Wins. The wife who wins. I remind you that all of us, whether we are single or married, young or old, are a part of the ultimate marriage between Christ and the church. as we talked about a few weeks ago, our earthly marriages are merely the junior varsity marriages that point to the varsity marriage.

Between Christ and the church that all of us get to be a part of. And therefore, it's important. That our earthly marriages be gospel marriages that reflect the glories of The gospel that we all share in, and I hope this message will be a contribution. To that end.

But let me start with this this morning. R. Kent Hughes has served as a pastor for almost 40 years and has had quite a successful ministry over that, that length of time. In one of his books, Liberating Ministry from the Success Syndrome, he recalls a dark season in his professional life and in his walk with the Lord when he came.

Within a hair's breadth. of giving up the ministry and even giving up his belief in the goodness of God. His misery had been building within him for some time through various discouragements in his life and in his ministry and his wife Barbara could see the explosion coming. And then 1 September night, After all the children had gone to bed, Kent unloaded his misery on his wife.

Listen to what he says. He says, I began to reveal the depth of my calamitous misery to Barbara. As I spoke, my eyes burned red with frustration and anger. Dark thoughts mounted within, waiting their escape.

I poured out all of my dammed up feelings, hidden feelings. What came forth was repugnant and offensive. And truly mean. He goes on To say suddenly I found myself coming to a conclusion that I didn't want to admit, though I knew it had been brooding in me for quite some time.

Now it was finally coming out. God has called me to do something. He hasn't give me, given me the gifts to accomplish. Therefore, God is not good.

He spoke those words to his wife. There, he says, I had blurted out the thought that had tormented me, it fell between us ugly and misshapen into the silence of the hot night. To you wives in this room this morning, I would ask you, how would you respond? To such words from your husband.

Would you rebuke him? Would you storm out of the room? Would you be angry that your husband is dumping such thoughts on you? Would you fall apart or would your faith in God fall apart?

Kent Hughes describes how his wife responded as follows. He says, how distressing it must have been for Barbara. I had always been the one on whom she could depend and I was faltering. But I will never forget her kind and confident response.

She said, I don't know what you are going to do. But for right now, for tonight, hang on to my faith because I believe. I believe that God is good. I believe that he loves us and is going to work through this experience.

So hang on to my faith. I have enough for the both of us. Shortly after she made that statement, her husband collapsed into bed exhausted, while Barbara was left sitting alone, hardly able to believe what had just come out of her mouth. Hang on to my faith.

Had I really spoken those words? To Kent, she asked herself. She even wondered what her faith would look like if her husband stopped believing. Altogether She thought to herself, what about my faith?

Was it strong enough to survive on its own? Or had Kent married a spiritual dependent? If Kent's faith failed, would mine shrivel and die like a parasite separated from its host? She took some time to review.

Her own spiritual journey in Christ and she took time to review God's faithfulness to her over the years. And then sitting by herself that night, she concluded, no, Kent did not marry a spiritual dependent. My faith pulsated with life and love for God. There were ups and downs on the road ahead for both of them, but Kent was eventually able to work through his discouragements with the help of his wife and others.

There were moments when he had to lean on his wife's faith, but he made it through with a stronger faith than ever and lived to write a book about the things that he learned through that dark season. And he would tell you that he might not have weathered that dark season of discouragement. Were it not for the help. Of his wife To all the women who are wives in this room.

This morning, I want to tell you that being a wife. does not doom you to a life of spiritual dependency. Your faith does not have to live or die or go up or down based on the state of your husband's faith. On top of that, if you are married, God has given you to your husband to be an influence for the gospel in his life.

And this is where Peter seeks to help you as a wife and 1 Peter chapter 3, verses 1 through 6. In 1 Peter 3:16 that we'll be looking at this morning and, in 2 weeks, Peter is actually telling you what to do as a wife in order to best position yourself to be a powerful gospel influence in the life of your husband. He's telling you how to be to your husband. What Barbara Hughes was to her husband and the story that I just shared with you.

Peter's goal in this passage is to show wives how they can best position themselves to be a living, breathing tour de force, literally, for the gospel in their husbands' lives. And this morning, all I wanna do with the time that we have is to look at verses one. And 2, and try to ponder some of what's in these two verses, and then in 2 weeks, we'll pick up where we leave off this morning. Let me read 1 Peter 3:1 and 2.

To you. Peter says in the same way you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be one without a word by the behavior of their wives as they observe your chaste. And respectful behavior. With the time that we have, we're just gonna look at, just try to piece together what would amount to 3 instructions to help you as a wife to be a winsome influence for the gospel in your husband's life.

3 instructions that we'll piece together and then in 2 weeks, we'll look at an additional 3 from this passage. Instruction number 1, let's word it this way. if you do want to be a winsome influence for the gospel in your husband's life, then start here. Purpose to be.

A winsome influence for the gospel in your husband's life. Make this your aim, your agenda, your purpose. That governs your behavior. In verse 1 of 1 Peter 3, we find the purpose clause which identifies a fundamental purpose for why you should behave the way that Peter is telling you to behave inside your marriage.

Look what he says in verse one, in the same way you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, and then here's what I wanna focus on in this point, so that, So that Even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be one. By the behavior. Of their wives as they observe your behavior. Peter is basically saying, I'm going to tell You as wives, some things to do in this passage and I want you to do them because if you do them, there is something that may result from that in the life and in the heart of your husband, and that is that your husband may be one.

Won over by your behavior. Notice the husbands that Peter is talking about here. He's talking about them who are disobedient to the word. What is that?

when Peter uses the word, word here, he is speaking of the gospel. So when you see the word, word here, think gospel. How do we know this? In First Peter chapter one, Peter is speaking of the word as the seed by which we are born again.

What word is that? That's the gospel. And we don't even have to conjecture about that. If you look in verse 25 of 1 Peter chapter 1, Peter ends that verse by saying, this is the word literally in the Greek text, which was gospel to you.

This is the gospel word that Peter is speaking about. So when Peter speaks of the word in First Peter 3:1, he's referring to the gospel, the gospel word, which means that 1 Peter 3:1 is talking about husbands who are disobedient to the gospel. Now that might sound strange. To our ears to think of someone as disobedient to the gospel.

But even in this book, First Peter, in chapter 4 verse 17, Peter speaks of those who disobey the gospel of God, and he uses the same word in that passage. And he describes those who disobey the gospel of God. as being in a different category than those who are of the household of God. In other words, those who disobey the gospel of God are outside.

The household of God. In other words, they're unbelievers. Interestingly, the word that is translated disobey in chapter 4 verse 17 and disobedient here in 1 Peter chapter 3, verse 1 is actually the Greek word that means to be unpersuaded. In fact, this word is translated 13 times in our New Testament with some form of the word persuasion.

To be persuaded or not persuaded. So when Peter speaks of a husband who is disobedient to the gospel, he's speaking of a husband whose disobedience to the gospel is born out of a lack of persuasion of the truth of the gospel. In other words, the husband is a skeptic. He is unpersuaded that the gospel is really true and his actions reflect that.

Lack of persuasion. And part of Peter's point is to say to wives, if your husband is a nonbeliever or he's living in disobedience to the gospel, don't think what I'm going to say in this passage does not apply to you. It does apply. My counsel, Peter is saying in this passage applies even to wives whose husbands are not in a good place right now.

Even wives whose husbands are total Non-believers And Peter is saying, follow my counsel so that In other words, with this purpose in mind, so that even if any of your husbands are right now presently unpersuaded by the gospel word, they may be one to a persuasion of the gospel without a word by the behavior. Of their wives. Does that make sense? There's actually two ways for a wife to read this passage and maybe mishandle what Peter is saying.

A wife may read verses 1 through 6 and say, what's being said here doesn't apply to me because my husband is a pagan. Well, Peter dispels that completely, right? By what he says here in verse one. The other danger is for a wife to read verse one and then think, this passage does not apply to me and it doesn't tell me anything about my potential impact on my husband because Peter is only talking to wives whose husbands are non-believers.

But actually that's not true either. Peter is speaking to all wives in this passage, and he wants all wives to know the power of their behavior to win their husband over to a persuasion of gospel truth. And if you're a wife, of a Christian husband. Your thoughts should be in reading this passage, my goodness, if the actions of a woman married to a total nonbeliever can be so powerful in winning her pagan husband over to a persuasion of the gospel, then how powerful might my actions be in the life of my Christian husband?

who is a believer, and who wants to believe, and he is fighting the fight of faith to become fully persuaded. Of the truth of the gospel. Just think about it for a moment, ladies. How many of you wives would say, my husband is a Christian?

And he completely And totally and always believes every aspect of gospel truth at all times, every day and in every circumstance. Raise your hand if that's your husband. All right. No wife can say that, right?

No wife can say that, and I know for sure that Donna can't say. That either. I'm a saved man. I've known the Lord for a number of years.

I've served as a pastor for over 2 decades. I've learned a lot, yet I would have to say that it is a daily battle. For me to be persuaded by the gospel and to actually believe it. Sometimes I forget gospel truths, sometimes I disbelieve gospel truths.

In fact, every time I willfully commit an act of sin, I'm revealing in that moment that I am not believing in the full truth of the gospel or the full truth about the God of the gospel. Sometimes I get discouraged, sometimes I get seduced by Satan's lies. Sometimes my heart condemns me and I mistake my heart for God. In the midst of this daily fight that I am going through to believe I'm hugely benefited by a wife who makes it her aim.

To be a persuading influence for the gospel. In my life, and I suspect your husband, if he knows the Lord would say exactly the same thing. Ladies, if it is true that your Christian husband has some distance to go and being completely persuaded of the truth of the whole gospel. Then that means that you have a meaningful role to play in his gospel journey.

Peter uses the word behavior twice in the first two verses of 1 Peter 3, telling you that there are behaviors that you as a wife can engage in, that your husband can observe, and God can use your behaviors to win the heart of your husband over to a deeper persuasion of gospel truth. So let me sum this point up by saying this in a way that I think reflects the theological balance. Ladies, you cannot save your husband. You cannot by yourself convince him on your own that the gospel is true.

That's not your responsibility. Only God can do that. But the God who can do that is the one who is telling you in this passage to behave in a certain way inside your marriage, because as he states, he apparently intends to use your behavior. To help influence your husband toward a persuasion of gospel truth.

So make this your agenda and realize your potential as a wife, as a woman of God. Come to God each day and say, God, the heart of my husband is in your hands. Help me to behave in a way that renders my behavior useful to you in fulfilling your gospel purposes in my husband's life. If you want to bring my husband to faith, If you want to bring my husband to a deeper faith in the gospel, then help me to engage in behaviors that are conducive to that end.

Rather than engaging in behaviors that are an obstacle. To that end You don't want it to be. Ladies, that when God is working in your husband's life, he has to like work around you. And work in spite of you.

You want your behaviors inside your marriage to be useful to God as he does his work in your husband's heart. Now, if this is your aim, then your next question will be, what do I do in order to be an influence for the gospel in my husband's life? And this brings us to the second instruction that you will want to follow in order to be a winsome influence for the gospel in your husband's life, and that is, let's put it this way, mirror the sacrificial gracious love of Christ toward your husband.

Mirror the sacrificial, gracious love of Christ toward your husband.

Notice how Peter begins in verse one. He says, in the same way, you wives. Be submissive to your husbands, and then his instructions continue. If you're a careful reader of the text of scripture, you will want to ask the question, what is Peter pointing to when he says in the same way?

And to answer that question, we have to actually go back briefly into chapter 2. In chapter 2, verses 13 and 14, Peter commands all believers to submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, to the king or the governors who are in authority. Then in verse 18, he commands servants to be submissive to their masters, and then he says, not only to the good and the gentle masters, but also to those who are unreasonable. In other words, he's saying, be submissive.

To your masters, whether they be a good master, or a bad master, even when you find that you're doing what's right and you're suffering for doing what is right. He says that in verse 20. Peter then points to the gospel. He points to all of us, he points servants to the gospel.

To the gospel example of Jesus Christ and look at what he says in verse 21. For you have been called for this purpose since Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in his steps. Who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in his mouth, and while being reviled, he did not revile in return. While suffering, he uttered no threats, but he kept entrusting himself to him who judges righteously.

Verse 24, and he himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness, for by his wounds you were healed, for you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the shepherd and the guardian of your souls. Peter spends verses 21 to 25, doing nothing but pointing to gospel truth. About Jesus. And he tells us that in doing what he did, Jesus was not only providing for us a way of salvation, but he was also, Peter says, leaving you an example so that you can follow in the same steps.

That he walked So basically, Peter is saying to servants, Submit to your masters and relate to them. In a way that reflects and mimics and displays the sacrificial gracious love of Jesus in the gospel. Manifest that toward your master. And then immediately after concluding this description of Jesus Christ, Peter turns to wives.

And in the very next verse, he says to wives, in the same way, you wives. And then he gives instructions. In other words, Peter is saying just as slaves are to relate to their masters in a way that mirrors the ethic of the gospel, the gospel example of Jesus, even so, you as wives are to relate to your husband in a way that similarly reflects the gospel example of Jesus. What is the example of Christ?

Well, his example is that when he was sinned against, he didn't retaliate with evil. For evil He didn't threaten, though he could have. He bore the impact. Of the sins of those who wronged him.

He entrusted himself to God, even while suffering from the wrongs being done against him. He actually let himself be crucified, all the while trusting God to look after him and to bring redemptive good out of his suffering. And Peter is saying, you wives, I encourage you to keep the example of Christ ever before you. Follow in his steps inside of your marriage, mirror the gospel toward your husband, and this will serve your purpose.

of being a winsome gospel influence. In the life of your husband. By the way, I, I should add that The example that Christ, the example that Christ sets for us at the end of 1 Peter 2 should be followed by all Christians in every area of life, men and women, single, married, Young and old. We are all to walk in the steps of Jesus in the way that Peter describes, and marriage is one of those contexts.

In which Peter is saying that a married woman is to mirror the sacrificial gracious love of Jesus. Toward Her husband Think about it For a moment, ladies, if you want your husband to believe that his sins are forgiven, Then show him what forgiveness looks like when it's wrapped in your skin. If you want your husband to know what the grace of God in the gospel is all about, then show him what grace tastes like as you relate to him. With that very grace.

If you want your husband to know that there is hope for himself. Hope for change in his life, then exude that hope toward him in the way that you relate. To him. You can't very well go to your sisters and say, pray for my husband, pray that he'll one day believe in the grace of the gospel.

While at the same time, You are withholding grace. From him inside your marriage. You can't say to others, pray for my husband to believe in the grace of the gospel when at the same time, you're holding grudges against him and retaliating against him with evil for evil, right? Guys, there's a reason that Peter puts the example of Christ right here in First Peter, right before he talks to wives.

There's a reason he begins his counsel to wives by saying in the same way. If you as a wife want to be a gospel influence in your husband's life, then the gospel needs to be at the center of your gaze. Stare at Jesus as he is described in the final verses of 1 Peter chapter 2. And then mirror that very ethic and how you go about relating yourself to your husband.

And maybe you're hearing this and you're going, man, I would love to do that. I'd be happy to do that, but my husband doesn't deserve for me to do that. My husband is continuously straying like a bumbling sheep, and he's messing up and wronging me all the time. Otherwise I would happily show him grace, like you're describing.

Yeah, what? Peter says you used to do that to Jesus too, right? You used to be continuously straying like a hapless sheep, but you've returned to the shepherd of your soul, haven't you? And you return to the shepherd of your soul because you had a savior who chose not to repay evil for evil to you.

You returned to the shepherd of your soul because you had a savior who didn't distance himself from you just so you couldn't hurt him anymore. You returned to Jesus because he loved you enough to even bear your sins in his own body. And die for you. He won you over with his gracious love, didn't he?

How about winning your husband to God's love by mirroring that same ethic. Towards your husband. You see, you'll never love your husband as you should. Unless you see yourself first as a recipient.

Of the amazing sacrificial gracious love of Jesus toward you. And you will never influence your husband. Toward the gospel, if you don't embrace your calling to be a living embodiment. Of the gracious and sacrificial love.

of Jesus towards him as you relate to your husband. You say, OK, I wanna, I wanna do this. you've talked me into it. I wanna make it my aim to be a winsome influence for the gospel in my husband's life, and I In doing that, I want to mirror the sacrificial, gracious love of the gospel toward him, but Where do I locate myself in order to wield this influence for the gospel?

I see in the text that Christ located himself on the cross in order to wield this influence. on my life and the lives of many others, but where am I to locate myself in order to wield this influence for the gospel in my husband's life? Well, that brings us to the third point that I want us to ponder this morning. The 3rd thing you'll want to do to position yourself to be a winsome influence for the gospel in your husband's life.

You ready for it? submit yourself. To your husband, submit yourself to your husband. This is what the text says.

Says the same thing in Ephesians, says the same thing in Colossians. And it says it here, if you take the scripture seriously, you need to reckon with what the text of the scripture says. The word that is translated be submissive is the Greek word that literally means to place oneself underneath. That's the literal meaning of the term.

In other words, Peter is instructing wives to arrange themselves underneath the authority of their husbands in the home, and I'll say more about, what this does not mean and what it means in just a moment. But I do, I want to take a moment here to just, Comment on the fact that I understand that the word submit is a bad word in our culture today. And it requires some clarification, and I want to take some time to do that. But before I do that, Let me just say that however offensive it is, Today, for a woman to hear that she needs to submit to her husband, it is no less offensive than Paul's command to husbands to die.

To lay down their lives for their wives. According to the New Testament, women are supposed to arrange themselves underneath the authority of their husbands. According to this same New Testament, husbands are commanded to arrange themselves on a cross of crucifixion. Brad Ley, one of our missionaries that we support, who's serving in Albania, when Don and I were over in Albania back in April and early May, Brad was telling me about when he taught on marriage to the believers in Albania, and he said to his surprise, he got zero pushback from any of the Christian wives when he taught on submission.

The only pushback he got when he taught on marriage was from the men. who did not like being told that they had to love their wives with a sacrificial cross-bearing love. The guys didn't like that. In fact, recently in a premarital counseling session, the woman who was in that session said to me, I feel like I'm getting off way easier than my fiance.

I'm only told to submit, but he's told to die. My calling is easier, she said, and I'm realizing that I really need to pray for my husband. She's right. Anyway, let's start off by taking some time to explain what the command to submit does not Mean and then we'll look at what it does mean.

First of all, the command. To submit does not mean that husbands are to subject their wives. Guys, you can look throughout all of scripture, you'll never find a command where God tells you to subject your wife. It is the wives who are instructed to make this voluntary choice to arrange themselves underneath the authority of their husbands in the home.

Secondly, this command does not in any way imply that women are inferior to men and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Think about it. In, in 1 Peter chapter 2 verse 13. We're all commanded to submit to the governing authorities.

If submission means inferiority, then we would have to say that the Bible teaches that we are inferior to every government official. That we have to submit to, including police officers whose orders we have to obey. But no one ever reads that and says, oh, are you saying I'm inferior to police officers? That I'm inferior to government officials.

No one thinks that when it comes to that instruction. Also, if submission means inferiority, then that means that Jesus. God the Son is inferior to God the Father. Because in 1 Corinthians 15:28, we're told that he, God the Son, will submit himself to his father in the age to come.

Also, Luke 2:52 or 51, we're told that Jesus submitted himself to his earthly parents, Joseph and Mary. Does that mean that Jesus was inferior? To Joseph and Mary? No.

In fact, he was superior. To them Yet he submitted himself to them in Luke chapter 2 verse 51. So let's lay this deception to rest. Submission does not imply inferiority.

In fact, this command actually implies, in my opinion, equality. The equality of wives to their husbands. The command to submit is the command that you give to someone who's equal, who stands shoulder to shoulder with someone else, and you instruct them to voluntarily step down and arrange themselves underneath the authority of another. That's what Peter is doing here.

As he speaks to wives. There's a 3rd thing that this instruction does not mean, and that is this command does not mean that Peter is calling for a general subjection of women. To men. He is simply telling wives to subject themselves to their own husbands.

Ladies, if some random man tries to tell you, you need to submit to him simply because he's a man and you're a woman, don't listen to him. There's a 4th thing this command does not mean. This command to submit does not mean that wives are supposed to do whatever their husband tells them to do, even When it's wrong. In Ephesians 5:22.

Wives are commanded to be subject to their husbands as to the Lord. In other words, you submit to your husband only as long as you can submit both to your husband and to the Lord Jesus Christ at the same time. If your husband ever instructs you to do anything that is against what Jesus commands, then you obey Jesus. And disobey your husband.

Fifthly, this command. To submit does not mean that a wife can never voice concern or criticism or disagreement with her husband. Ladies, God gave you to your husband to complete him. And you need to play your role in that and communicate and speak up and make your contribution and play your role in completing your husband.

Even if that means voicing criticism, Or disagreement or concern. Obviously though, we do this with respect, right? But you need to render this service for your husband. You owe it to him to disagree, to voice concerns.

Or even criticisms when that is appropriate and to do that in a respectful way. in fact, I need this from Donna. Before Donna and I, got married, I told her, I said, if I am ever being a jerk, I want you to tell me. I'm commanding you to tell me whenever I'm being A jerk And to her credit, I can say that she has obeyed that.

she has followed that council with excellence on many occasions, and, and I'm actually grateful for that. and guys, think twice before you go, oh, that's a cool thing to tell my Girlfriend or fiance or wife to do. when I told her that, I had no idea how frequently I was a jerk. That's the problem.

I figured that maybe she'd have to sit me down once a decade, or if at all, and say, hey, you're being a jerk here, but It's turned out to be a little more than Than that. But my point is that we all need people. To speak into our lives, and we're the richer for that, right? And the same is true in marriage.

A submissive wife will be committed to the ultimate good of her husband, so much so that she will be willing to speak up and express her concerns and contrary opinions to him. She'll want to do this in a way that's respectful of him and even in a way that knows her thinking is not complete and that she will share what her thoughts are, while respecting his point of view and even inviting his perspective also. But ladies, speak into your husband's lives. you don't want your husband to be 60 years old and no one can stand to be around him because you never spoke up.

And called him on things. Love your husband and love the people in your life and in your husband's life by speaking into his life when there are concerns to give voice to. Anyway, so this is just some things that submission does not mean. Let's ponder what submission does mean.

first of all, submission means that women are, as we've seen, to arrange themselves underneath the leadership and the authority of their husbands. In the home. It also means that wives are to fight against. And be victorious over the strong desire that they have inside of themselves to master their husband.

We learned about this in Genesis chapter 3. Every woman has within her a desire to control her husband, a desire that is as ancient as Eve. This is a strong desire and so in my book, any woman who succeeds in being submissive to her husband is a heroic woman. who has fought and triumphed over the indwelling desire in her to master her husband.

Also this command. To submit also means that women are to submit themselves to the purposes for which God has given them to their husbands. In Genesis 2:8, the text says, then the Lord God said, it's not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.

So, for a woman to submit to her husband means that she surrenders herself to the task of being her husband's completer and helper. I think the best description of submission that I've ever read was written by Wayne Mack in his book, Strengthening Your Marriage. Listen to what he says. He says submission means that the wife puts all of her talents, abilities, resources, and energy at her husband's disposal.

Submission means that the wife yields and uses all of her abilities under the management of her husband for the good of her husband and family. Submission means that she sees herself as a part of her husband's team. She is not her husband's opponent fighting at cross purposes or trying to outdo him. She is not merely an individual going her separate way.

She is her husband's teammate striving. For the same goal. I think that's well said. Also, ladies, submitting to your husband means embracing submission as a lifestyle.

I get the impression sometimes that some women think that submission is something that they're supposed to do only when push comes to shove and they find themselves disagreeing with their husband about something. I think that's actually a shallow view of submission. Submission is not some mode that you slip into in particular moments. Submission is a lifestyle.

It's getting up in the morning and reminding yourself that you are your husband's wife, called to be a helper to him and then asking yourself, how can I behave in a way that conveys that I see my husband as the leader. Of this team. How can I be a helper to my husband today? And then you bring the full weight of your gifts and your abilities and resources to bear toward those goals.

Just briefly, let's just ask the question, why? Why does Peter tell women to submit to their husbands? Is he putting women down? Is he removing them from a position of power and influence?

No, Peter tells women to submit to their husbands, according to this passage, because when women do so, they thereby put themselves in the perfect spot. from which they can wield maximum impact for the gospel in their husband's life. Think about it this way, wives, if God came to you, and he said to you, I want you to be a powerful influence for the gospel in the life of your husband, and I want to tell you the spot from which you can exert that powerful influence, would you be interested in knowing where that spot is?

Well, here's the spot.

It's totally counterintuitive, but the spot from which you can wield the most influence for the gospel in the life of your husband is from the position of submissiveness. According to Peter, that's the position of power. I know that's upside down. I know it's counterintuitive, but the question is, will you trust God and believe him?

Think about what Christ did. The father told Jesus. That the spot from which he would wield the most influence on our lives was the cross. Who would have thought that from the position of hanging naked, Upon a cursed cross that Jesus would alter the course of history, the way he did.

Even altering our lives today, 2 1000 years later, we're meeting this morning because of what he did. From that spot. And ladies, the same God who called Jesus to submit himself to the cross, calls you to submit yourself to your husband so that from that lower position, you may confound the principalities and the powers by wielding a mighty influence for the gospel in your husband's life and the world will be left scratching their heads saying, how does that happen? That's backwards.

The same Jesus who accepted his calling to submits himself to the cross. comes to you and calls you to assume the submissive place in your marriage so that you might wield a mighty influence. For the gospel and the life of your husband from that position. And that brings us to one final truth about what submission means, and I just want to mention this in closing.

Submitting Yourself to your husband means recognizing that God is your husband's judge and savior, not you. Submission means recognizing that God can do the judging of your husband and or the saving of your husband far better than you ever could even on your best day. Submission is you saying to God, I will assume my position down here underneath my husband because I know that you, God, are over my husband. I will not try to play God in my husband's life.

I will let you be God and I will just be me. Submission, when you think about it this way, entails you setting aside. Your junior God badge. And letting God be your husband's judge.

And savior And trusting him with that. In fact, as some have said, submission is learning to duck. So that God can hit your husband when he needs to. And that's why women who follow Peter's counsel are powerful women.

That's why they can happily assume their place under the authority of their husbands because they know that God can quite capably handle their husbands from above. And because they know that they have a, they also know they have a direct audience with this God who's over their husbands. And they know that this God can deal with their husbands far better than they ever could, even on their fiercest day. Or best day So, let the world scoff at Peter's counsel, the same world scoffs at the cross.

But the women who follow Peter's counsel are the true women of power. Amen. One woman, just one woman who follows Peter's counsel is more powerful than a million. Secular, godless feminists.

Such a woman has more power in her pinky finger than in all of the secular feminist movement combined. And such a woman will likely have a husband who like R. Kent Hughes. Who will have many stories to tell of how God used his wife.

On many, many occasions. To help him and to win him over. To a deeper persuasion. The truth of the gospel.

We'll pick up here in a couple of weeks, but this will give us Much to ponder, in the meantime, but let's go to the Lord in prayer and ask. And to help Us to live these things out. Lord, I pray for the precious sisters here in the Cornerstone family. This is what they're called to do, and yet, as a man, I'm humbled as I read these instructions and I know how Hard.

I've made this for my own wife. I pray that you would help us as men to be the men that Our wives would find it easy to be this way toward us. But even when we're not, Lord, it demonstrates how greatly we need our wives to display the beauty of the gospel towards us and to take us deeper, and then the deeper we go, the better we become. I pray for My precious sisters this morning, Lord, that You would give them wisdom in how to apply this ethic.

In their individual situation, Lord, that you would raise up the women of Cornerstone to be mighty women of God, women of valor, who wield powerful influence in the lives of their husbands in a way that leaves the world scratching their heads saying, where do such women get such power? Help them to trust you and follow you, Jesus Christ, to follow in your steps. And then following your steps to be a tour de force for the gospel. In this church community and in the lives of their husbands.

We pray that you would help all of us to follow in the steps of Jesus. And to wield this enormous power for the gospel in all of our lives, and all of our relationships. Jesus, you We're rich, and yet you made yourself poor so that we through your poverty might be made rich. And now we have an opportunity to give up our offerings to you and return a portion of what you have blessed us with.

Help us even in our giving this morning. To follow the example of Jesus. And to follow your steps. In every relationship and everything we do.

In the days of the week ahead. We ask all of these things, Lord, in the name of Jesus, and all God's people said,