Answers to Questions Regarding Marriage and Divorce Pt.1

The title of the message this morning is Answers to Questions Regarding Marriage and Divorce. Answers to Questions regarding marriage and divorce, Part One. Paul is not sitting down in chapter seven and just writing an exhaustive, dissertation on the subject of marriage and divorce. There's a number of, Issues that Paul would have talked about if he were trying to cover absolutely every base.

You need to understand that what Paul is doing in chapter 7 is he is responding to a letter. That the Corinthians had written to him a letter in which they had posed various questions regarding the subject of marriage and divorce and even physical intimacy within the bounds of marriage, questions regarding singleness, as well, and, and in some cases, perhaps they were asking questions. In other cases, perhaps in this letter, they were stating opinions and beliefs. And they were giving those things to the apostle Paul to see what he thought of their opinions on various matters regarding marriage and divorce.

And so throughout the length of 1 Corinthians chapter 7, you need to understand that Paul is responding to a letter that they had written to him. Look at what he says in verse 1. Now concerning the things about which you. Paul now has a letter that he's looking at that they had written to him with various questions and opinions and controversies and concerns, and he's looking at that letter and now he is writing to them things in response to that letter to answer those questions, to settle those concerns and those controversies regarding the issue of marriage and divorce, and then in later chapters, even other issues that they spoke about in their letter to him.

And folks, we don't have a copy of this letter. It would be great if we had a copy of the letter that they had written to Paul, and we were able to look at that and then look at what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 and see why he says what he says and why he limits his comments the way. that he does in chapter 7. Actually, there are questions that chapter 7 raises in our minds, and we would be asking in some cases different questions than what the Corinthians, were asking, but we need to understand Paul is simply responding to the questions that they were asking.

He answers those questions and then he moves on. So if you're looking to get all of your questions answered on the subject of marriage and on the subject of divorce and And remarriage, you're not gonna find all of those answers in 1 Corinthians 7. But when the Corinthians read chapter 7, they said, OK, now we've got the answers to the questions we were asking. And basically, if you look at verses 1 through 16, you can put together what almost certainly were 5 questions at least that we know the Corinthians were asking Paul in the letter that they had written to him.

And let me try to give these to you in as brief of a format as possible. If you're taking notes, you can write these down. Actually, the 1st 2 questions of the 5, we began to see the answer to last Sunday. the first question that he begins to answer in the early verses of 1 Corinthians 7 is this, is singleness God's will or is marriage God's will?

Should I stay single or should I get married? I have never been married before, Paul. What should I do? Should I just stay single?

Is that the spiritual thing to do, or should I pursue getting married? That's the first question that he begins to answer and he answers, this question in verse 1 and in verse 7, you put those two together and you have what are the beginnings of Paul's answer to that question, even though he gets to that question even later in the chapter and says even more about it. A second question that Paul addresses, in fact, he addresses this question in verses 2 through 6, is this, is physical intimacy.

In marriage, OK?

Is physical intimacy and marriage acceptable in the eyes of God? Another way of saying it is, do spiritual people have sex? Do they do that thing? And Paul addresses that question in verses 2 through 6 and then in verses 8 and 9, and this is where we're gonna be spending time this morning, Paul.

basically answers a third question, and that is, should those who are widowed stay unmarried or should they get married? What is God's will? widows and widowers in the Corinthian church were asking the question, I was married, but I'm not Married anymore. Should I stay in my unmarried state right now, or should I pursue remarriage with somebody else now that my spouse has passed away?

Should I stay single or should I get married? And so in verses 8 and 9, Paul's going to answer their question. And then 1/4 question that Paul answers in verses 10 and 11 is this, I divorce OK for Christian couples? Is divorce acceptable?

Is it OK for Christian couples? And in verses 10 and 11, Paul is going to answer that question. And then a 5th question. That Paul is going to answer and he answers this question in verses 12 through 16, is this, and that is, what should I do if I am married to a non-Christian?

Should I divorce my non-Christian spouse or should I stay married to my non-Christian spouse? What is God's will for me with regards to this, and how do I know? Know what his will is for me regarding my marriage to my non-believing spouse, whether I should stay married or allow the marriage to end in divorce. Now Paul is going to be addressing all of these questions in verses 1 through 16.

And folks, I probably don't need to tell you this, but these are very important questions, are they not? fundamentally important questions. As a pastor, chapter 7, as I've been studying it, it's been one of the most complicated chapters I've ever studied. There's so many interpretational difficulties and challenges, but even just looking at what you can know with certainty from chapter 7, I love this chapter.

why? Cause it saves me a lot of counseling time. some of the very questions that Paul addresses in 1 Corinthians 7 are the very kinds of questions that often are brought to me in my office. People who are struggling with marital issues and divorce questions and so forth.

These are fundamental issues that often people are seeking counseling about, and Paul provides answers, or at least partial answers to some of these very important questions. And folks, let me, you may be here this morning and maybe you're single and you're thinking, man, I don't, I don't wanna be talking about this all through chapter 7. We're gonna be talking about marriage and, and marital issues, and I'm just not into that right now. Listen to me.

Let me tell you why every one of you need to sit up and listen carefully to everything Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7. the first reason is because as I mentioned to you last Sunday, when the devil wants to attack a society, when he wants to attack a city, he begins in the church, does he not? When the devil attacks the church, he begins by attacking the families in that church, and when he begins attacking families in the church, his first point of attack is the marriages that are in those families, the relationships between the husbands and the wives, and when he attacks those marriages, those relationships between husband and wives, often his first points of attack are the very kinds of issues that Paul addresses and Gives guidance on in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, and it's no wonder to me that out of all of the issues that the Corinthians wrote about in their letter to Paul asking questions that Paul says, what, out of all these issues, I'm gonna talk about this one first.

We don't know if that was the first thing they even mentioned in their letter, but we do know Paul decided, I'm gonna deal with this issue first.

Of all the issues they mentioned in the letter, I will address this first. It is that important. Folks, we need the truth that is found in 1 Corinthians 7, today in our society more than ever. In our society, people are so confused.

They have such a weak and a convoluted view of marriage and, and, as indicated by the fact that over half the marriages that are contracted in our society today are ending up in divorce. There are over a million children a year that are experiencing the trauma of their mom and their dad, divorcing one another and their marriage coming to an end, and their family, their world being busted apart through the tragedy of divorce. what's even more troubling to me? What's even more troubling to me is that statistics indicate that the divorce rate in evangelical churches, the divorce rate amongst church attending people in our society today is actually slightly higher than that of the general population of people in our culture.

In fact, the divorce rate amongst evangelical Christians is actually a few percentage points higher than the divorce rate amongst professing atheists. You wonder why we're not making an impact upon the world of our day when we got families breaking apart at a faster rate within churches than even amongst professing atheists in our society today. Sadly, there are even marriages in churches and outside of churches in our society today. That yes, they're still technically and legally married, but they are not acting as husband and wife.

You've got a husband who is spending hours a week on the internet looking at pornography and pleasuring himself by looking at those images and what have you, and so there is no physical intimacy. There's no real marriage that is going on and being enjoyed from day to day, no intimacy at all. Because of the deadly sin of immorality and pornography and so forth, there are so many people in our society today, folks, who just have such a weak and convoluted view of marriage, and sadly there are people in churches and evangelical churches who are messed up in their thinking in this area.

And if there ever was a time when we needed to look at the truths that we find in 1 Corinthians 7.

it is today, and we need to understand everything that Paul is saying in this chapter and apply it to our lives and to our situations and to our marriages. Now, let me just review, first of all, verses 1 through 7, and, and, and we'll set up the paradigm of questions, all right? The first question that he begins to address. In 1 Corinthians chapter 7 is this, and that is, is singleness God's will for me or is marriage the will of God for me?

Should I stay single or should I get married? Look at how Paul begins to answer this question in verse one. He says now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good. In other words, it is morally beautiful and profitable.

It is to one's advantage. It is a morally upright thing, and there is nothing at all wrong with this, he's saying, for a man not to touch. Or in other words, to have sexual relations with a woman. The idea is it is good for a man to not marry a woman and to not be involved in physical intimacy with a woman.

If that is the way that a person chooses to live his life as a single individual without marriage and without physical intimacy with a married partner, then Paul says there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it is a good, noble, and excellent. path of living. However, Paul would be the first to say it is only good for those who have the gift of singleness or for the gift or who have the gift of celibacy.

In other words, their desire for physical intimacy is very little or it is Not at all, and so they're not hassled by, temptations to sexual immorality. Look at how he affirms this in verse seven. He says, yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am, when he says that he's not just saying I wish everyone was single like I am, cause he didn't want everyone to be single like he was. But what he's saying is I wish everyone was single and happy about it.

In other words, I wish everyone had the gift of celibacy, the way that I, possess it and have received it from the Lord. However, he says, I know that God doesn't give that gift to everyone. He disperses his gifts around and he says, however, each man has his own gift, his own charisma from God. One in this manner and another in that.

Some have the gift of celibacy and I have it and I love it. Some receive the gift of marriage and physical intimacy and pleasure within marriage, and they love that. And so God gives to some this gift and others, he gives that gift. And so Paul would basically say when you put these two verses together that those who have the gift of celibacy, it is a good thing for them to remain single, to never marry, to never be involved in physical intimacy with a married partner, but, those who do not have the gift of celibacy, he goes on in verse 2 to say, you ought to get married.

That would be my message to you, Paul would say. Look at verse 2. He says, but because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife and each woman is to have her own husband. Part of the idea is this is an encouragement for single people who don't have the gift of celibacy to get married, but as we saw last Sunday, Paul's focus goes well beyond.

just challenging people to get married and literally this reads, because of immoralities, each man is to be continually sexually having his own wife and each woman is to be continually sexually having her own husband. This is not simply a challenge or a call to get married. It is a call to married people to be continually having one another, living together as married couples ought to live, enjoying. The privileges, the pleasures, and all the responsibilities of being a husband and wife.

Now Paul, and, and basically Paul now is beginning to answer the second question, and that is, is physical intimacy in marriage OK? Is it OK? And Paul's answer is yeah. In fact, it's commanded.

These, these are imperatives here. Now Paul then beginning in verse 2, gives 3 reasons why married couples ought to be involving themselves in physical intimacy with one another. The first reason he gives is, it's a prevention to immorality. Look what he says at the beginning of verse 2, but because of immoralities, by having physical intimacy with your spouse, you protect yourself and your spouse from temptations to sexual immorality.

That's not all that it takes to be protected from the sins of immorality, but it is a big step in that direction. There is a second reason that he gives to encourage spouses to be involved in physical intimacy with one another, and that is found in verse 3. And that is, he says, because it is your duty to do this. He says in verse 3, the husband must fulfill his duty.

In other words, he must pay his debt, pay on his obligation to his wife, and likewise also the wife to. Her husband, he's saying this is a debt. You owe this to your spouse to be meeting his or her physical and sexual needs. There is a third reason that he gives, encouraging spouses to be involved in physical intimacy with one another, and this is found in verse 4, and that is your spouse has the rights to your body.

Your spouse has authority over you. Your body. Look what he says in verse 4. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does, and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

And Paul would say with these 33 reasons in mind, this is what I'm leading to, this is what I'm trying to challenge you guys to do. Verse 5, stop depriving one another. Some of you are depriving your spouse of the enjoyment of physical intimacy, and I'm commanding you to stop cheating. Your spouse of the enjoyment of intimacy in this way.

Some of you, Paul would say, are cheating spouses, and you are cheating by withholding from your spouse that which is due them. He says, however, there is a time where you can abstain from physical intimacy, but certain things need to be in place. He says it's got to be by agreement. Number 2, it's gotta be for a time.

Number. 3, it's gotta be for the purpose of prayer, and number 4, you gotta make sure at the end of that period of abstinence that you come together again physically. Why? Look what he says, so that Satan will not be able to successfully tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Paul then says, now don't get me wrong, I'm not commanding you to have periods of abstinence. I'm not advocating that if you go through your whole marriage and never have a period of abstinence from physical intimacy, that's totally OK. I am not commanding you to do this. I don't want some of you wives to go to your husband and say, see, Paul's commanding us to have periods of abstinence, so let's do this for the next 3 years in obedience to what Paul says.

Paul says in verse 6, no, I am saying this by way of concession. Not of command. I am not commanding you to ever have a period of abstinence, but I am saying if you want to do this for whatever reason, for the purpose of prayer, then it would be allowable. And would not be in disobedience to the Lord.

And so basically, when you look at verses 1 through 6, Paul addresses these first two questions, and that is, should I stay single or should I get married? Is singleness God's will or is marriage God's will for me and how do I know? The second question is, is physical intimacy within marriage OK? And Paul answers that question by saying, yes, it is OK.

In fact, it is commanded. Now folks, let me just add one thing, just from the broad sweep of scripture to what we did talk last week and so far this morning about physical intimacy and then I promise we'll move on, OK? If this is making any of you uncomfortable. from the broad sweep of scripture, there are 3 purposes for physical intimacy, within the bounds of the marriage relationship.

And I feel like I need to give you these 3 because Paul only gives 1 of them. In 1 Corinthians chapter 7, and I want you to at least know the other two so that you're not thinking, well, is this the only reason we are to be. intimate in the marriage relationship. So, in the scripture, there are 3 purposes for physical intimacy in marriage.

The first is procreation. Procreation, in other words, to have children. When God created Adam and Eve and he brought the two of them together, God looked at both of them and said in Genesis 1:28, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. Well, how do you do that?

Well, you do that, for starters by being physically intimate with one another. And so Obviously, and this is actually a command that God was giving to Adam and Eve. It was not an option for them. imagine if Adam and Eve had said, what, let's just have a platonic relationship.

We'll never be physically intimate. If they did that, none of us would be here. The earth would have never been filled the way that it is filled today and continues to be, even more so, they had to be physically intimate with one another to obey the command that God had given to them. So obviously, God is commanding them bear children.

And the way that you do that is by being intimate with one another. So the first purpose of physical intimacy and marriage that you see on the pages of scripture is procreation. Now folks, there have been some people throughout the history of the church. Who have advocated the position that the only purpose of physical intimacy in marriage is procreation and there is to be no other purpose whatsoever.

And those who would advocate this point of view, well, let me just tell you my problem with that view. Number one, and this doesn't carry a lot of weight, is that's a very boring view of marriage. But I know that doesn't mean anything, but I just wanted to say that anyway cause I can say whatever I wanna say when I'm preaching, but. But the, the real problem that I have with that view is that it's not a biblical view.

It's not a biblical view. There is no way that you can read the scriptures from beginning to end and walk away with the impression that the only purpose of physical intimacy in marriage is procreation. That is a very important purpose, but it is not the only. purpose.

There is a second purpose for physical intimacy in marriage that God approves of, in fact, that he even commands, and that is pleasure. Pleasure, pure and simple. You read through the book Song of Solomon. It's been a while since I've read through that book.

what, there are even some erotic descriptions in, in that book as they're admiring one another and enjoying intimacy with one another and looking forward to that even. And what, there ain't nothing said from the beginning of that book to the end about procreation and having children. Solomon is not saying to the woman in that book, let's, let's go have children together. They're not even thinking about that.

They are lost in enjoyment, and pleasure, and enraptured by the physical love that they are enjoying together. You also look at Proverbs chapter 5 that I read to you last Sunday where Solomon is talking to his son, and he says, rejoice, be happy. in the wife of your youth, and he says, as a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breast satisfy you at all times, be exhilarated always with her love. Folks, those commands there go beyond just saying have physical intimacy with one another.

We are commanded by God to enjoy it and to be exhilarated by it. And so there's nothing at all wrong with enjoying physical intimacy and marriage just for the sheer purpose of enjoying one another for the purpose of pleasure. So if it is pleasurable to you, don't feel bad about that. It is one of the fundamental purposes of intimacy in marriage and it's something that has been created by God to be enjoyable.

So the first purpose is procreation, the second is pleasure. The third, and this is actually what we find in 1 Corinthians 7, is protection. Protection or prevention, by being involved in a healthy and an active and a regular, marriage of physical intimacy with one another, you will serve to protect yourself and your spouse from temptations to sexual immorality. That's why Paul in verse 2 says, but because of immoralities, and then in verse 5 at the end of the verse, he says you need to Come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Paul is saying, I don't want you married people to not be meeting each other's needs physically to where you're walking around frustrated physically, because when you're frustrated in that way, sexual temptations to immorality take on a higher degree of potency and increases the odds of one stumbling into sexual sin. So by enjoying physical intimacy with one another in a regular way, we do something that serves to protect us and our spouse from temptations to sexual immorality.

All right, so when you look at all of the scripture, you can put together those three purposes. Again, Paul is not giving an exhaustive dissertation or treatise on the subject of marriage.

and physical intimacy. He is simply talking about one of the purposes because it fits with what he's talking about, dealing with the Corinthians and their unique struggles. But if you were to sit Paul down and say, is that the only purpose of intimacy in marriage to prevent immorality, Paul would say, no, let me point you to Genesis and let me point you to Proverbs and Song of Solomon as I have done this morning. Well, anyway, with that having been said, let's move on to the 3rd question that Paul answers in these early verses of chapter 7, and this is the question that Paul addresses in verses 8 and 9.

And that is this. Should those who are widowed stay unmarried, or should they get married? What is God's will for me? There were widows and widowers in the Corinthian church who were asking this question, and that is, what is God's will for me?

Should I, get married to someone else or should I stay single? This was a basic question. That was in their minds. They were essentially asking the same question that single people who had never been married were asking of the apostle Paul.

And so Paul has addressed the question that singles were asking who had never been married, and now in verses 8 and 9, I believe he's answering the question that was on the minds of widows and widowers. All right. Now folks, before we actually look at the verse in order to understand. the need that Paul is addressing here, you need to take yourself out of our 20th century American context and go back to the 1st century, because if you're thinking, according to the way things are today, you're probably imagining, well, OK, so there's some 80-year-olds, some 85-year-olds in the Corinthian church whose spouse just passed away a year earlier and they're wondering, well, what do I do with the rest of my life?

Should I Get married or should I stay single for the rest of my life. That's the way we would probably tend to think of someone in their 70s or 80s or even 90s because of how long people live today. But folks, if you're thinking that way, you're gonna misunderstand how great the need was that Paul is addressing here. Understand first of all that life expectancy during Paul's day was nothing like it is today.

In fact, if you live to the age of 60, 65. That was a remarkable achievement. You were old, very old. In fact, Vernon in our men's group, was sharing with us, he's shared with us on a couple of occasions that even when he was a child, someone who was in their 60s was very old.

you admired someone like that. That's how much things have changed even in our own society just with the advances in healthcare and medicines and so forth. And so understand first of all that life expectancy in Paul's day was nothing like it is today. Also understand that the mortality rate amongst women who were pregnant was exceptionally high compared to today.

In fact, one commentator based on his research. And all the indications that he was able to gather indicated that 1 out of every 5 pregnancies proved to be fatal. To the pregnant woman, 1 out of every 5, that is an amazing, a staggering, statistic. And also keep in mind that it was not unusual for a girl to be married at the age of 12 for her parents to give her away in marriage at the age of 12.

That is difficult for us to comprehend. But folks, when you consider the fact that life expectancy was not in Paul's day what it is today, and when you consider the fact that women were given in marriage at an exceptionally young age and you also. Consider the fact that the mortality rate of in childbirth was exceptionally high. You then begin to get the picture that there were no doubt a number of 30 year old men in the Corinthian church and 40-year-old men and even women just as young whose spouses have passed away either in childbirth or through whatever other reasons, sickness or what have you.

There were young people in the Corinthian church who were already widowed and so. With a sizable number of people in the Corinthian church who would be in this demographical group asking this question, this is a question that Paul needs to answer. It's not just a few who are in their 80s who may be asking this question. There are a number of young people who are asking this question who have been married and whose spouse has passed away.

And so Paul answers a question that's on their minds, and you're going to see folks in verses 8 and 9. That Paul essentially gives a similar answer, if not the same answer to them that he's already given to those who were single and had never been married in verses 1 and 7. Look at what he says in verse 8. He says, but this I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I, but if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

We got a lot to say from these two verses. and we'll start in verse 8, and I need to alert you guys to the fact that there is an interpretational difficulty in verse 8. I'm going to tell you, my thinking on this difficulty, and you may agree with it, you may not, and that's, that's totally OK. I'm not real dogmatic about it.

Verse 8, look at what he says. But this I say to the unmarried and to widows, all right? Now folks, you wanna underline the word unmarried because that is the word that there is a lot of debate. regarding, with regard to verse eight.

The question that commentators wrestle over is what is Paul speaking about when he refers to unmarried people, or when he uses the term unmarried in verse eight. Now, you may look at that and on the surface, you may say, well, that's easy. Milton, he's just speaking of Anyone and everyone who is not at the time that he's writing this in a married state. So it, it's a word that speaks of just anyone who's not married.

Someone who is single and has never been married, a man or a woman, this word would be speaking of them and also, those who have been widowed, a man or a woman whose spouse has passed away. they would be included, in this word and even divorced people, would be included, in the meaning of this word. And folks, there are a number of commentators that do advocate that point of view that the word unmarried should be, broadly understood to just speak of anybody who is not in a married state at the time in which Paul is writing this letter.

Well, there are other commentators who handle this word differently because they see problems with that point of view.

And, and the one of the problems is this, why would Paul, if the word unmarried just speaks of absolutely everyone who is not now in a married state, why would he say, but this I say to the unmarried and to widows? Why would he speak that way? Well, those who would advocate the point of view that I just explained would say. Well, in the Greek, this could be translated, but to the unmarried and especially to widows, that he's singling them out.

So you got this broad category of unmarried people, and Paul says to all of you, and especially, and now he pulls widows out of that category and says especially what I'm saying is for those women whose husbands have passed away. That is possible, but to me I don't really see the value in Paul singling out widows in this way. If what he's going to say applies to everyone anyway who is not in a married state, why would he single out widows in this way? It seems like it begs for another explanation, and the one that I would advocate, although not dogmatically, is that I, I think that when Paul says unmarried here, he is referring to widowers.

OK, he is speaking of men. Whose wives have passed away. You say, well, why would you hold that point of view? Well, the first reason would be because Of the problem that I would have with the other view, it would seem weird that Paul singles widows out and pulls them out of this broad category of all those who are unmarried.

Another reason would be that in the Greek, here's how it reads, but this I say to the unmarried, the word unmarried is masculine in its gender, and then he says, and to. Widows and the word widows is feminine in its gender, so it would make perfect sense that Paul is saying that to the widowers, to the men whose wives have passed away, and to widows, to the women whose husbands have passed away. One other indication that we have in In chapter 7 that would argue for this, go to chapter 7, verse 34, and you actually see this very same Greek word translated unmarried, used in a way that distinguishes someone who is unmarried from someone who is single and has never been married.

Look at verse 34.

He says, and his interests are divided, and the woman who is unmarried, all right, that's That's the same word that is translated unmarried in verse 8. But look what he says. The woman who is unmarried and the virgin. Do you see the distinction there?

Paul would use the word unmarried to speak of someone who was not a virgin. In other words, someone who had been married before and he uses that word by way of distinguishing them from the virgin who had never been married. All right? Is that making any sense?

Are you guys following me? Just, in fact, if, if you didn't follow me, just, just know that my personal viewpoint is that the word unmarried in verse 8, because it is masculine in its gender, as opposed to the word widows that is feminine in its gender, I believe that it's speaking of widow words. OK? Now, just a confession here.

I didn't know what a widower was until a few years ago. I'm ashamed to say that. I would hear people say, speak of someone as a widower. I always thought of a widower as the one who died and made a widow out of his wife, for example, but I learned a few years ago that a widower is a man whose wife has died, so.

Maybe all of you already knew that, but just in case you are as ignorant as I was, a widower is a man whose wife had passed away, and a widow is a woman whose husband had passed away. Is that news to anyone? Raise your hand. Someone make me feel good here.

OK. Great. There's like 5 of you, so I'm glad I said that. All right, so what I think Paul is saying here, oh, and by the way, there are some who would, there was one commentator out of about 15 or 16 that I consulted.

There was one commentator who said that divorced people would fit into this category of those who are unmarried and his argument is that in verse 11, this word is used to speak of someone who is in a state of Having been divorced. But, every other commentator basically said it wouldn't include divorced people because Paul is going to give some very definite instructions to divorced people in verses 10 and 11 that are actually quite different from what he says in verse 8 and 9.

And so that's why that is not a very commonly held view. So what I think Paul is saying here is, but this I say to the widowers and to the widows, all of you people that are, your spouse has passed away and you're wondering, do I, do I get married?

Do I remarry somebody else, or do I stay single? What is the will of God for me and how do I know this? here is Paul's answer. Notice how similar this is.

He says it is good for them if they remain even as I. This word that is translated good here is the same word. That is translated good in verse one. In other words, it is a morally acceptable and beautiful, morally right thing to do.

It is actually the one's advantage. There's nothing at all wrong with someone whose spouse has passed away for them to remain even as I, in other words, in a single state as I myself am. Now, by the way, there are some commentators that look at Paul's language at the end of verse eight. And they see how he's, is affiliating himself with widows and widowers and the language that he employs here, and they would suggest, and it's all speculation and every commentator would just say it's speculation that perhaps Paul himself was a widower.

And that he was married at one point in his life, but his wife had passed away, leaving him in a widowed state or a widower state, and that Paul is. cluing us into that and what he says at the end of verse eight. That is actually a very real possibility. one of the things that scholars look at is Acts 26:10, where Paul is speaking to King Agrippa and he's saying that when the chief priest, in other words, when the Sanhedrin was casting their vote to put Christians to death, I cast my vote with them.

I voted along with them. And commentators look at that and say, well, if Paul cast his vote with them, that would mean then that he must have been a member of the Sanhedrin. And if he was a member of the Sanhedrin, we know from history that marriage was required of Sanhedrin members. Therefore, Paul would have had to have been a married man at some point of his life.

Well, that's actually a possibility. There's two problems with that that you at least want to keep in mind. And that is that first of all, when Paul says he cast his vote with them, that does not automatically mean he was a member of the Sanhedrin. He could have simply been saying I voted along with them.

In other words, I was in agreement with the decision of the Sanhedrin. I went before them and I advocated putting someone to death. They voted to put them to death and I was in total agreement with them. So it does not necessarily have to mean that Paul was a member of the Sanhedrin.

In the second place, even if Paul was a member of the Sanhedrin, we don't know for sure that the regulation requiring marriage among Sanhedrin members was in place during Paul's day. We know in the 2nd century. that it was a regulation that members of the Sanhedrin had to be married, but we don't know that 100 years earlier that that same regulation was in place during Paul's day. It may have been, it may not have been.

He may have been a member of the Sanhedrin and thus have been married. He may not have been. The fact is we don't know, and we're no further towards knowing that than we were 3 minutes ago when I started talking to you about him. So, but anyway, just so what the issues are.

But the point is, everyone agrees Paul is saying he's a single man, all right? He's unmarried and he's saying to those who are widowers and widows, it is good for them if they remain single as even I myself am in an unmarried state, but he says, I have to say this, look what he says in verse 9. If they do not have self-control, let them marry, he says, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. folks, verse 9, it's an embarrassing verse, isn't it?

Just the way that Paul words things. In fact, one scholar wrote a paper on this verse, years ago, and the title of the, the paper was that embarrassing verse in 1 Corinthians. And I think there's good reason for being a little embarrassed over the way that this is worded, but what, God is a realist. Paul's a realist, the Holy Spirit is a realist.

He knows where we're coming from, and he's just speaking in very graphic terms, saying, hey, here's how what the Lord wants you to do. If you're wondering, should I get Married or should I stay single? Paul says, let me just put it to you as bluntly as I can, all right? If you don't have self-control, then you need to get married.

In fact, look at this, when he says let them marry, he's not saying, well, if they don't have self-control, then then let them get married, like allow them or permit them to get married. This expression, let them marry is actually an imperative in the Greek. It's a command. Paul is saying, listen, it's good for you to remain single, but I got a news flash for you.

If you don't have self-control, then I'm commanding you to get married. And when he says when you don't have self-control, what he's saying is if you don't have such complete mastery over your physical desires, over your sex drive, to the point where you've obliterated it altogether or it is so minimal that you don't even struggle with self-control issues and you don't even struggle with sexual temptation, and you're able to focus on the things you need to focus on, serving the Lord and serving other people.

People and you're not hassled by these self-control issues with regards to sexual temptation. What Paul is saying is if you're not that person who has that control, that mastery over yourself, then he would say, I command you to get married.

You have to get married because look at what he says. It is better to marry than to be burning with passion. The word that is translated burn is present tense. He's saying, I, I don't want you guys to be frustrated from day to day.

It is better that you get married and that you be in a married state and enjoying intimacy with the spouse that God has provided for you and to experience the enjoyment and satisfaction that comes with that in the meeting of your physical needs. It is better that you be. Enjoying that then that you be living in a constant state of physical and sexual frustration as you are burning with passion. Now in the Greek, all it says it's better to marry than to burn.

The new American standard adds the words with passion, and I think that's a great interpretive decision. A couple commentators suggest that this means to burn in hell, to burn in judgment. In other words, it's better to get married and enjoy intimacy with your spouse than to be single and to be stumbling into immorality and thus incurring judgment upon yourself and possible hellfire judgment upon yourself. but I don't think in just about every other commentator other than one or two.

would say that's not what Paul is saying here. He's saying it's better to get married and enjoy intimacy with your spouse than to be from day to day burning with sexual and with physical, passion. I love this folks, because it, it tells me that my God is a realist. He understands where we're coming from and, and he would say to all of you who are single and have never been married, he would also say to those who are widowed, to widowers and to widows, if you come to, to, to Paul basically and say, what is God's will for me, Paul would say, Listen, if you wanna remain single, that's actually great.

I commend that. It's good, it's morally excellent, it's beautiful. there are ways that that is actually to your advantage and he's gonna talk about that later in this chapter, but Paul would say, if you wanna know what God's will is for you, you need to look at yourself and ask yourself, do I have the gift of celibacy or do I not? And Paul says if you do not have The gift of celibacy and you are feeling the strong desires within you to you long for physical intimacy with somebody, then Paul would say then my instruction to you is to go get married.

You need to get married because it's better to get married than to be just pulling your hair out and just frustrated, burning with sexual and with physical passion, all right, so there's 3 stages. of being that are identified in verse 8 and 9, there are those who are single and happy about it. They're happy because they have the gift of celibacy and they're not pining away with longing to have their physical needs met. Then there are those who do have physical desires and they are married and their desires are being satisfied.

In the context of their marriage relationship. And then there are those who are single, but who don't have the gift of celibacy, but they're resolved for one reason or another. I gotta be single, I, I, spiritual Christians do not marry, that's what I've been learning in my Bible study and And from some of the enlightened people in the Corinthian church, truly spiritual people don't get married, and they, they don't enjoy physical intimacy, that is of this earth, that is of the body, and so I gotta stay single.

Meanwhile, that person is very frustrated and pulling his or her hair out because they don't have the gift of celibacy.

Paul would say that is the. Worst state of being that could ever befall someone and therefore Paul would say don't bring that frustration upon yourself. If you've got the gift of celibacy then stay single that's great, but if you don't, then you need to marry because it is better to marry than to be frustrated to the point of distraction with physical needs that are not being met. Well, that is essentially the third question that Paul addresses in.

Chapter 7. There's a 4th question that he answers and what? Just for the sake of time this morning, I'm gonna give you the question and I'm going to very briefly give you Paul's answer and then we'll pick up and start looking at this in detail tonight. A, a 4th question that some of the.

Corinthians we're asking is, is divorce OK for Christian couples? Is divorce OK for Christian couples? And we'll just take a minute or two with this and look at Paul's answer very briefly and then I would encourage you to come back tonight as we look at this in more detail. Look what he says in verse 10.

But to the married, I give instructions. Actually, Paul says, not I, but the Lord. In other words, all I need to do, I don't need to give you fresh apostolic instruction. All I need to do is to point you back to the very thing that Jesus talked about when he was on the earth.

So this isn't me talking. I'm not giving you some regulation as an apostle. I am merely telling you what Jesus said when he was on the earth in his earthly ministry. He says to the married, I give.

Instructions, not I, but the Lord, and here is the instruction. And by the way, this is for those in the Corinthian church who were married to Christian spouses, all right? Both of them were Christians and they were wanting to divorce for one reason or another, and we'll speculate about what some of those reasons might have been tonight. But here are two people in the Corinthian church, a husband and wife, and they're asking, we're thinking we ought to get a divorce, we're wanting a divorce and And is this OK?

Paul says, here is the Lord's instruction that the wife should not leave her husband. In other words, the wife should not divorce her husband, Paul says, verse 11. But if she does leave, Paul makes allowance for it. He's saying if, now my command is she is not to leave, not to divorce her husband, but even if she does, she must remain unmarried.

In other words, she is not allowed to marry another. He says she must remain in an unmarried state or else she must be reconciled to her husband. Those are the only two legitimate options within the bounds of what you could call the will of God for someone who is divorced, who has divorced a husband or a wife who is a Christian. And then he says at the end of verse 11, and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

Based on the teaching of Jesus, Paul would say to those of you couples that are considering divorce and wondering, is this the right thing for you to do or not, I'd simply refer you to the teaching of Jesus that you are not to divorce. Wives, you cannot divorce your husbands. If you do decide to do that for whatever reason. Then you have to remain unmarried or else eventually be reconciled to your husband.

And I would say to husbands that you should not and must not divorce your wife. And obviously we would fill in, you cannot divorce your wife, but if you do, you must remain unmarried or else eventually be reconciled to your wife. Now that is what Paul is teaching in verses 10 and 11. That's the broad outlines of that.

And we'll look at this in greater detail, but let me ask you to bow your heads. God holds a very high view of marriage. This is part of why I wanted to at least make sure that we touched on verses 10 and 11. Divorce is so rampant in our culture today because people have such a wrong and shallow view of marriage.

Marriage is very highly esteemed by the Lord. He created the institution of marriage. And Paul is advocating this high view. Those of you that are married.

Instead of, letting your mind be going elsewhere where it shouldn't be gone and wishing things were different and You need to just throw yourself into your marriage, just maxing out on all of the privileges, the pleasures and the responsibilities that go with being a husband or wife, being the very best spouse that you can be, that is next to your relationship with the Lord, that is your highest calling, did that? Yeah, we have a man who's I just don't have any energy to give my wife, I work so hard every day and I just have nothing to give.

Listen, your occupation is not your highest calling. Your wife is your highest calling.

Their wives who are like, I just don't have anything to give my husband. I've got to deal with the children all the time, and they take my energy and I have nothing left over for my husband. Now your husband is your highest calling. We need to recognize the institution of marriage as being the highly exalted thing that it indeed is.

And to live inside of it and to max out on all that God wants us to have and do within the bounds of marriage. And those of you that are unmarried, hopefully you will have this high view to where even though you're unmarried right now, that you, it will make you more resolved than ever that I will keep my body pure. I will not sin against my body. I will save myself from my spouse.

I will begin even right now to be learning how I can be the best wife and the best husband that I can possibly be. I don't even know who my spouse will be one day, but I will begin to love them right now by praying for them, whoever they are, that God will protect him or her from sin. I will begin to love them right now by, by learning everything I can learn that would make me the best spouse I can possibly be. And above all, I will protect myself so that when I get married, I can enter into that state pure, undefiled, and able to give 100% of myself to my spouse and have the very best marriage possible.

This is God's view of marriage and this is God's will regarding marriage. Let me just encourage you to take a moment to speak to the Lord and Respond to however the spirit of God has spoken to you. Our Heavenly Father, we know from scripture that part of the reason you instituted marriage. is because it serves as a vivid picture of our relationship with Jesus Christ.

To whom we will be married one day. There will be marriage in heaven, Lord, there will be one marriage. And that is the marriage. That will take place.

As we are married to Christ. And Lord, even now. In the betrothal period as it were, that we are in with Jesus, the intimacy, the love. The pleasure that we enjoy that he gives to us and that we give to him.

All of that is available to us today. And it is available to us, Lord, because of the gospel. The greatest love story that's ever been told is. Is this love story that we call the good news of the gospel, where Jesus is the lover.

And we are the ones loved. Jesus is the pursuer, and we are the ones who have been pursued. Jesus is the one who has done a tremendous act of loving sacrifice, and we are the ones for whom he sacrificed himself and the greatest act of love. That's ever been accomplished in the history of human civilization.

Greater love has no one than this that a man laid down his life for his friends. And Jesus says, I laid down my life for you. No one will ever love you more, or ever love you better. Than how I have loved you And sacrificing myself for you.

Lord, as we just turn our thoughts from just thinking of earthly marriages to our relationship with you, the intimacy we can have with you that has been accomplished for us through the shedding of the blood of Jesus. Lord, may we just just relish these privileges. These pleasures, these responsibilities that accrue to us because of what Jesus has done. And dying on the cross for our sins.

Guide our thinking, Lord, even beyond what I've expressed, take us deeper than ever into an appreciation of this love relationship that we have with you from day to day because of the sacrifice of our savior Jesus Christ. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.