Answers to Questions Regarding Marriage and Divorce Pt.2

The title of the message is Answers to Questions Regarding Marriage and Divorce. Answers to Questions Regarding marriage and Divorce Part 2. Keep in mind what I have told you over the last couple of weeks, and that is that everything that Paul says in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, he is saying in response to Questions that the Corinthians were asking him regarding various issues with regard to marriage and divorce, and Paul is responding to their questions and their opinions and their practices as they express them in their letter to him.

And I began to lay out for you this morning just to maybe help you break down verses 1 through 16, just to break down those verses in a way that clearly identifies which questions Paul is answering.

And the various verses that we find there and just a very quick review, the first question that he touches on in this chapter is the question Is singleness God's will or is marriage God's will? This is a question that single people no doubt were asking, and Paul gives an answer to that question in verse 1 combined with verse 7. He provides even more of a reply later in chapter 7, and we'll get to that in coming weeks. And then, a second question, and this question was coming from married individuals, is, is physical intimacy and marriage OK?

And in verses 2 through 6, Paul gives a resounding yes to that, and he says, not only is it OK, but it is commanded by the Lord. And then there's a third question that Paul addresses, and my personal interpretation would be to word this question in this way, and that is, Is singleness God's will for widowers and widows, or is marriage God's will for them? And Paul provides an answer to this question in verses 8 and 9. In fact, let's just now look at 8 and 9 very quickly.

and review his answer is in verse 8. He says, But this I say to the unmarried and to the widows, that it is good for them if they remain even as I, verse 9, but if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. In other words, with physical or sexual passion. So he says it's great if you want to remain single and you have the gift from the Lord that would enable you to do so without any problems.

However, if you do not have the gift of celibacy, then I actually command you to get married. Now let me touch on one thing, that is with regard to the word unmarried. I mentioned to you that there are some prevailing views regarding this word, and I would say among commentators the majority view is to view the word unmarried as just viewing it broadly to speak of anyone who is not in a married state. Now amongst those who define it broadly, some would say it includes widows.

And widowers and single people who have never been married, but it does not include divorced people. Other commentators, in fact, there were one or two that suggested that it does include divorced people, but it's not simply limited to divorced individuals. That's the majority view, even though there's some variations with regard to that in connection with divorced people to view this as broadly as possible. A minority viewpoint, but one that is, that is held by some really quality scholars and commentators is the view that I suggested to you, not dogmatically, this morning, and that is that it should be understood as widowers for the reasons that I gave to you this morning.

But I did mention to you that there, there was one commentator that I came across that did understand the word unmarried broadly enough to include divorced people. I did want to just clarify that a little bit for you tonight and actually take what I said this morning a little further. There is one commentator that understands the word unmarried to be speaking exclusively of divorced people, that that's all Paul is talking about. When he says unmarried, he's talking about men and women who were married at a former time and they experienced the tragedy of a divorce.

And so that is who Paul is talking about when he refers to the unmarried, and that's the only people that Paul is talking about and they would say this person, this commentator would say that Paul is saying to the divorced individuals and to widows, here is what my instruction. would be, but as I said this morning, that is not my personal view, because I do think Paul gives some instructions to, that would apply to divorced individuals in verse 11 of this very chapter. And also there are some other reasons I would have a problem.

With taking this to be referring to divorced people just generally speaking because it would contradict, I think, with what some of what Jesus says in the Gospels, but just know that that is an option that is available.

There are commentators that do include divorced individuals in their definition of the term, and there is one commentator that does say the word unmarried is referring only to divorced individuals. So know that that's an option. But before you settle on, taking this word one way or another in any way that may apply to your situation, you had better do a lot of work to really research this out. This is not an easy word to figure out in the way that it's being used in this context.

In fact, let me just say the one commentator that takes the word unmarried to be speaking of divorced individuals, period, is John MacArthur. And, he advocates that in the MacArthur study Bible, but just know when you read notes there, that's not a part of scripture, OK? That's his, his point of view. He also advocates that point of view in, in his commentary on 1 Corinthians, as well.

What strikes me about that particular view though is that in like the 16 commentaries that I've studied in preparation for preaching through this chapter. That view is held by not only no other commentator, but no other commentator even mentions that as a possible view that they even want to interact with. A number of commentators, in fact, most all of them will say, Here are the various views, and yet here's my opinion, and here's the reason why, and here's my problem with the other views.

Not a single other commentator even mentions MacArthur's viewpoint.

And even interacts with that and says, here's what some say, but here's why we don't believe this. They don't even mention it as a as an option or a possibility. So when you see that in the MacArthur study Bible or in his commentary, I'm not saying that he's wrong. He may be right, but just know that that's not the only view and know as well that the 16 commentators that that I've read and studied don't even mention that as a viewpoint that they even take the time to interact with for whatever reason, OK., chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians is a very humbling chapter.

I, I have to tell you that, and you may end up being very frustrated, as I have already been frustrated by the time we're done with this chapter, because there are some issues and there are interpretive challenges that, frankly, I look at them right now and I go, I don't know with any dogmatic certainty what is being said here. And that's frustrating for me. I like to know and I want to know with total certainty, but I've had to humble myself and say, what, I'm going to wrap my mind around what I can know with certainty, and I'm going to believe that and I'll preach my heart out on those things, the things that there are still question marks on them.

I will just delay that for another day, maybe.

When I come around to this chapter, 1020 years from now, after I'm a little more mature, maybe there'll be a little more light on that and I'll be able to understand them, but we're gonna find some issues like that in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, also 1 Corinthians chapter 15, chapter 14, chapter 12. There's and chapter 11. it's, it really is everywhere. This is going to be a very humbling book and as far as interpretive challenges, chapter 7 is where things start, start getting pretty thorny and difficult, and I'm not going to be up here acting all dogmatic just for the sake of being dogmatic and coming across like, wow, he's a man of conviction.

I'm not going to come across as dogmatic about something that I can't be dogmatic about. And I want to be very careful, especially with this issue regarding marriage and divorce, because I know that I'm treading very sensitive ground in the consciences of God's people. And if I go dogmatizing about something that Frankly, from the revelation that's in scripture, I can't be dogmatic about. I don't want to cause undue trauma in the consciences of God's people if it's something that I just can't be certain about.

So please understand that the word unmarried in verse 8 is one of those kinds of issues, but nonetheless, I still stand by the view. Point that I advocated this morning for the reasons that I gave you. If you don't agree with me, you won't be disciplined out of the church. All right, so he addresses in verses 8 and 9, I think the question Is singleness God's will for widowers and widows, or is marriage God's will for them?

And I think he answers that in verses 8 and 9. But now as we come to verse 10, Paul begins to answer another question that was being asked by another group of people in the church, and this question was being asked by married individuals who were not happily married. In fact, they were wanting to divorce their spouse. The husband and wife are both attending the Corinthian church, and they are wanting to divorce one another, or one of the spouses wanting to divorce the other for what.

A reason and they're basically asking the question, is divorce OK? Is it OK for me to divorce my spouse? Now, by the way, commentators speculate on what were the reasons that they were even thinking about divorce, and there are some commentators that say that one of the things, one of the reasons that people were wanting to divorce was because, as I explained last Sunday, they were into this dualistic worldview to where that which is material or of the body. is bad and it's evil.

Therefore, physical desires are evil. Therefore, physical intimacy in marriage is something to be abstained from. And not only that, even marriage is an earthly thing. There's not going to be marriage in heaven.

And so truly spiritual Christians don't have physical intimacy in marriage, and truly spiritual Christians are single individuals living a celibate life. And so for that reason, some commentators speculate there were people in the Corinthian church that were wanting to get a divorce and dissolve their marriage. I have no doubt that there were some who were considering divorce for this reason. However, it would be too narrow if we limited the reasons to just that, because in verse 11 Paul says if she does leave she must remain unmarried.

Clearly there were some who were thinking of the possibility of divorce with the prospect of remarriage, and so someone who's wanting to be celibate wouldn't even be thinking about that. To me and other commentators would suggest this, that some are wanting to dissolve their marriage so they can be single and celibate. Others were wanting a divorce for all the same reasons that people want to divorce their spouses today. They were unhappy in their marriage.

They were not getting along. They had irreconcilable differences. They were just not the same people they were when they got married, going in two different directions. They had outgrown their marriage, and, think about it.

So far in 1 Corinthians we've seen a lot of carnality, have we not? Being manifested, there was factions and fightings and quarreling and disputes and that were going on in the church. There was jealousy, there was strife. there was a lot of carnality going on in the Corinthian church and folks, you can't compartmentalize carnality.

If they're being carnal in the way that they're relating to and treating their brothers and sisters in the Lord in the church, that same carnality was being manifested. The marriage relationships amongst the people in the Corinthian church and so no doubt there was fighting and envying and jealousy and theological disputes between a husband and wife and so forth and going in two different directions, a lot of pride and arrogance as well. And so their marriages were in a state of disarray and they were considering the realistic possibility of divorcing one another and they asked Paul about this.

Is it OK for us to get a divorce.

Well, Paul's resounding reply in verses 10 and 11 is, no, it's not OK. It is not the will of God for you to divorce a brother or a sister in the Lord in the church. Look at what he says in verse 10. He says, But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband.

Now the That is translated leave is not the exact word that means divorce, but this word was virtually used as a technical term in connection with the issue of divorce. So basically it's a synonym for divorce, and what he's saying is that to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not divorce her husband. She should not pursue a divorce from her husband. Now, by the way, when Paul says in verse 10 to the married, I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, what he's saying is, I'm not, I don't need to give you fresh revelation on how to handle a situation like this if you're thinking about divorce, because Jesus actually addressed this issue when he was on the earth, and he talked about the subject of marriage and divorce.

And basically Paul would say when Jesus spoke about divorce, and you can check in. Matthew 5 and in Matthew 19 and in Mark chapter 10 and in Luke chapter 16 where Jesus talks about marriage and divorce, Jesus basically says that the marriage bond is permanent. It is so permanent that even a divorce certificate does not dissolve the marital union. You remember that where he says you may divorce your wife, but if you go marry.

you're committing adultery against your original wife. In other words, that the marital union with your original spouse still continues to where if you go remarrying another, you are committing adultery against your original wife. Jesus is clearly teaching that that marital union, something of that union, will last until death. And when one divorces and has that down on a divorce certificate, Jesus is saying the marital union is so profound.

That there is no piece of paper in any courthouse that can dissolve that union. It still goes on. You're still married, and if you go marry another, you are committing adultery against your original spouse. That's a synopsis of the teaching of Jesus on that subject.

And Paul says, so I don't need to give you fresh revelation as an apostle on this. Jesus spoke about this, and the net result of his teaching, look what he says at the end of verse 10, is that the wife should not leave her husband. You should not pursue a divorce from your husband. Verse 11, but if she for some reason does disregard this exhortation that I have just given and she does divorce her husband, she needs to be very careful that she does not compound things even further, and that is when she has divorced her husband, if she insists on doing that, she has two choices, Paul said.

And that is that she must remain unmarried. She is not permitted, Paul says, to marry another man, or else here's the second option to be reconciled to her original husband. Those are the only two options that are available to a divorced or a wife that has divorced her husband. Paul then at the end of verse 11 says, and here's my second.

Part of my answer, and that is that the husband should not divorce his wife. All right, for whatever reason, the husband should not be divorcing his wife, and obviously Paul would go on to say if he wanted to take the space to do so, he would say a husband should not divorce his wife, and if he does divorce her, he must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to his original wife. Now. I have wrestled all afternoon with how to handle this, and I don't even know as I stand here how to handle this properly because it requires more time than I would be able to give to it tonight.

There are some who would advocate a point of view based on Matthew chapter 5 verse 32 and Matthew 19:6 who would say that, how Jesus says any man that divorces his wife except for the cause of immorality and marries another is committing adultery. There are many commentators and scholars and pastors that would advocate the point of view that immorality on the part of a married individual does. Provide the offended or innocent spouse just grounds for divorce, and let me just say that's a real possibility, although that point of view is not without its problems and without its objectors.

There is a way of understanding what Jesus says in Matthew in a way that speaks of immorality during the engagement period, which is actually the direction that I would lean, although not dogmatically.

but if you do hold to the view of immorality on the part of a married person as being just grounds for, divorce, does it not bother you that Paul doesn't mention that exception here in these verses? If I held that point of view. Which is a legitimate point of view, it would bother me that Paul doesn't mention that here in these verses, because if any church would have needed to know that, it would have been the Corinthian church. Have we not seen that there was immorality going on as we had people in the Corinthian church who were actually going to prostitutes, right?

We've already seen that. We know that that was going on because of the rebuking tone of Paul saying to them in chapter 6, Don't this and don't that? And if, if there really was immorality going on, which few commentators would ever object to accepting that as a fact, you would think of all places for Paul to say, hey, you shouldn't divorce your husband unless in the event that he has visited a prostitute or has been immoral. so I just wanted to point that out.

you may be able to make arguments for the viewpoint that adultery or immorality does provide a legitimate exception, allowing. A Christian spouse to divorce their husband or wife, but nonetheless, it may be significant to notice that we don't find this exception here when of all places, this is a church that would have needed to know that. Two commentators actually struggled with that fact, and they said, why doesn't Paul mention that exception clause here? And what their answer basically was?

He doesn't mention it because it was universally known and the Corinthians already knew it. Well, my problem with that is if they already knew that, why didn't they already know what Paul says in verses 10 and 11 anyway? Why did they need this instruction at all if they were already so aware of the regulations and the possible exceptions and so forth. But anyway, we could talk about that at another time.

But Paul says, Here's my instruction to those who are married in the church, and that is that the wife should not divorce her husband. If she does, she cannot remarry. She must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. The husband should not divorce his wife.

If he does, he needs to remain unmarried. Or else be reconciled to his original spouse. All right, so in verses 10 and 11, Paul seeks to answer that question on the part of some unhappily married individuals who were wondering if divorce was OK. As we move into verse 12, Paul seeks to answer a a fifth question.

And that 5th question was being asked by married individuals in the church who were married to a nonbelieving spouse, and they were wondering, what do I do? Do I stay married to my nonbelieving spouse or do I seek a divorce from my nonbelieving spouse? And folks, before we look at Paul's answer, just very quickly, you've got to understand this was a real quandary. For some of the Christians in the Corinthian church, in fact, listen to what one writer says.

He says that their genuine concern was this If I have left behind the old life and become a new creation in Christ, does not my relation with my unbelieving, unrepentant spouse and my entire home atmosphere threaten to pollute and to corrode my purity as one who. Belongs to Christ. think about that. We've had instruction from chapter 7 for centuries and so maybe some of this is a given, but imagine these Christians who come out of these totally pagan environments and they come to accept the Lord.

Their lives are being changed. Meanwhile they've got this nonbelieving spouse who is a wicked sinner and is a typical Corinthian in every sense of the term. And here is the believing spouse saying, what, I've accepted the Lord. I'm a new creation.

Maybe God wants me to divorce my unsafe spouse so that I can just truly follow the Lord and have a total break with my wicked and my sinful past. Also, folks, think about the fact that in chapter 6, Paul, you remember how he's telling the Corinthians you shouldn't be going to prostitutes because your body. your bodies are members of Christ, and then he says, Shall I take away, tear away the members of Christ's body and join them to a prostitute? You remember that.

And Paul says, May it never be. Part of his argument is you should not be taking Christ's body and joining it with an unsafe prostitute at the temple of Aphrodite. That should be an offensive notion to you to take. Very body of Christ and to join it physically with a nonbeliever and as something of your physical essence goes out of you into their body, therefore something of Christ's very body is torn away from Christ and is given to that nonbeliever.

In addition to talking in that language, later in chapter 6, Paul says that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and basically his point is, are you going to take the temple of the Spirit of God and join that? to a temple of Satan, as it were. Now you take that very logic and you, if Paul is, or if this letter is being read and there's a believing spouse sitting in that congregation hearing that language and they're married to a nonbeliever, imagine the trauma that would cause them.

And they would start thinking, well, good grief, when I have physical intimacy with my nonbelieving spouse, isn't that same thing happening there, that something of Christ's physical essence is being torn away from Him and given to this nonbeliever when I have physical intimacy with my spouse, is not the very temple of the Spirit of God being joined to the temple of Satan, as it were?

Do you understand the quandary and the dilemma that they would feel? In their mind, this is a legitimate question that some of them would be asking, and that is, do I, should I divorce my nonbelieving spouse so that I can have a total break with my wicked past and give myself to the Lord and Him alone and not be giving Christ's body to a nonbelieving husband or wife. This is a profoundly important question that many of them were asking in this situation, and Paul gives them. An answer beginning in verse 12.

Basically his answer is no, you should not divorce your non-Christian spouse. You should not pursue or seek a divorce from your nonbelieving spouse. Look at how he says this beginning in verse 12. He says, but to the rest I say, not the Lord.

All right, I'll stop right there. You might look at that on the surface and say, Well, what is Paul saying? Is he saying, Well, this is my own opinion, my own personal opinion. It doesn't carry any.

like, wait, this is not Jesus talking. This is just me speaking personally. I actually heard a pastor say that by way of expositing this and speaking in a way that what Paul is about to say really does not carry inspirational apostolic weight. It's just his personal opinion and he's saying it's not from the Lord.

But I think most of you would know better than that. Clearly what Paul is saying as you connect this back to verse 10 is he's saying, what, this issue. I'm going to answer this question, and I don't have any teaching from Jesus when he was on the earth that I can quote from as I quoted from in verse 10. And answering that question, he's saying Jesus, when he was on the earth, did not address this particular issue.

And so I am going to speak myself, but as I speak, I am an apostle of the Lord, and what I am going to say is divinely inspired and it is authoritative as being from the Lord Himself. But Paul is simply saying, I want you to know though that Jesus didn't specifically address this issue when he was on the earth. And by the way, Notice how careful Paul is. you listen to people in the Jesus seminar and basically their view of the apostles and the disciples is, Jesus after he died, they were like, Well, what's our agenda?

What do we want people to do? And so they made up sayings of Jesus. In fact, 80% of the things they attribute to Jesus as having said he didn't really say, but the apostles made those things up. It was their own agenda.

They put their own agenda in Jesus' mouth and they said, Look, this is what Jesus said. He was on the earth, and they talk about the apostles as if they were very careless and cavalier and very quick to just make up words that Jesus supposedly said. But notice how careful Paul is here. You don't see that at all.

He says in verse 10. Well, Jesus did address this issue and he did speak to this issue when he was on the earth. However, regarding those of you that are married to a nonbeliever, I have to tell you honestly, Jesus didn't say anything about this. Paul could have said, Well, Jesus said, and I know he said this, and then made up some quote.

He could have done that, but he did not do that because Jesus didn't address this issue, and Paul and the other apostles were very careful to not put any words in Jesus' mouth. All right, so with that understanding, let's proceed. Verse 12 to the rest, I say, not the Lord, that if a brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. What Paul Paul is saying to the Corinthian Christians who are married to nonbelievers is you should not pursue divorce from your non-Christian spouse, even though they're a nonbeliever.

If they are consenting to live with you, then you must not divorce your nonbelieving spouse. If they're OK being married to you and they're fine with all of that, then you are not to pursue a divorce from your unbelieving wife. Now verse 13, and a woman who has an unbelieving husband. And he consents to live with her.

She must not send her husband away. So it goes both ways. Husbands that have a nonbelieving wife, if the wife is OK living with you, then you must not divorce your nonbelieving wife. And you, you believing wise, if you've got a nonbelieving husband and your nonbelieving husband is content to continue to live with you as husband and wife, then you must not seek a divorce from your nonbelieving husband.

Well, Paul gives them in verse 14 some of his rationale for that, as he gives them the reason why they ought to stay married. Look what he says in verse 14. He says, for the unbelieving husband is sanctified through or literally in his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified literally in her believing husband, for otherwise. Your children are unclean, but now they are holy.

Now this is again one of those humbling verses. I don't know that I can stand up here and explain to you the full scope of everything that Paul is conveying here. There's actually various ways of handling this, but what I'm going to suggest to you tonight is within the range of what basically every commentator agrees on. And everyone would know with absolute certainty, and that is this.

Understand that when we come to faith in Christ, we as believers are sanctified in the fullest sense of the term. We are set apart by God from the world. We are set apart by Him to be objects of his transforming work. We are set apart by Him.

To for special service we are set apart by Him for holy and unique and righteous living. We are also set apart by Him to be the special recipients of His blessing and of His love. That's part of what sanctification means that God pulls us out of the world, makes us His children. And sets us apart to be the recipients of his special, to be special objects of His blessing and love that He longs to shower upon us.

Now, obviously Paul is not saying that a nonbelieving husband is saved by his believing wife. But there is something of that sanctification that does occur even with the nonbeliever, and I think the idea is this, that Paul is saying that here is the believing spouse, and they have been set apart by God and God is lavishing upon them his love and his blessing. Paul is saying by virtue of this non-believing spouse's union. Marital union with the believing spouse, they are, they get in on that blessing and the love that God is lavishing upon the believing spouse.

Again, notice the preposition here in verse 14, for the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife. In other words, they are one flesh and therefore as God showers His blessing and his. Love and His goodness upon the believing spouse, this nonbelieving spouse, by virtue of their one flesh union with that believing spouse, thereby inevitably participate and they receive much of that love and much of that blessing directly and then as an overflow of the blessings that are spilling forth from their believing spouse.

Does that make sense?

a A nonbelieving husband or wife is in a very privileged position by virtue of their union with the believing spouse, and what Paul is doing is he's addressing the concern that many of these believing spouses would have had, and that is, what, by me staying married to this wicked nonbeliever, for example, am I not somehow polluted by that when I come in contact with this nonbeliever spiritually, emotionally, physically, is there not something Of their pollution that will begin to affect me and Paul says, no, you don't have to worry about that.

In fact, the reverse is true. They, by virtue of their union with you, become sanctified. They are made more holy in the sense that they receive something of the blessings and the love and the goodness of God that God is pouring upon you.

You have a cleansing effect upon them, not them having a corrupting effect upon you. In Exodus chapter 29 verse 37, it is said that whatever touches the altar shall become holy. The altar in the tabernacle was holy, and anything that touched it instantly became holy. If something that was unholy touched the altar, it didn't thereby make the altar unholy.

No, the altar made that thing therefore holy, and it's the same in the marriage relationship. Paul says. Notice what he says at the end of verse 14. He says, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in her believing husband, so it's true for both husbands and wives.

And then he says at the end of the verse, for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. In other words, they are sanctified. They are set apart. And it's almost like Paul is saying, what guys, I know that you already know what I'm saying is true with regard to your children.

You already think this way. Your children are born and they're born in original sin. They're born and they're totally depraved sinners and In their early years, they don't know the Lord, and you see their depravity manifesting itself every day. And yet as a parent, that by being in their lives, by being their mother, by being their father, much of God's blessing that you're experiencing will bless them as well.

Eventually you will have a sanctifying effect upon them. Your children are in a unique position to receive the blessing of God as it comes forth through you to them. As God blesses you spiritually and that spills over to your children, and Paul is saying, I know you guys think this way with regard to your children. I want you to think this way with regard to your nonbelieving spouse as well, that as God is blessing you and showering and lavishing all of His blessing and goodness upon you, and as you stand in sight of the grace of God and His grace is abounding towards you, Paul says something of that grace, something of that goodness, something of that blessing.

Will be lavished upon them as well by virtue of their union with you. Part of what's implied here is even you will have a sanctifying effect upon your nonbelieving spouse and potentially be able to lead them to Christ. It touches on what Peter says in 1 Peter chapter 3, verse 1 and following, where he says, Wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that even if they are disobedient to the word, in other words, even if they're nonbelievers, they may be one without a word by the behavior of their wives as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

Peter is saying by staying married to them and being submissive and being chaste, And respectful and holy and so forth, you can end up exerting an incredibly powerful influence upon your nonbelieving husband, ultimately even leading him to Christ.

And so Paul says don't worry about being corrupted by them. You stay married to them because God actually will work through you and use you to be a blessing to them and have a sanctifying and perhaps even ultimately a saving effect. In their lives. So this is a wonderful ministry opportunity, an evangelistic opportunity for you who are married to a nonbelieving spouse.

Verse 15, some are sitting there going, OK, I understand that, Paul, but my, my nonbelieving spouse wants a divorce. I've been trying to fight it because I know God doesn't want divorce, and I've been refusing to go along with it. I've been fighting. Every step of the way, and yet they're insisting on leaving and it's just turning into a big fiasco and a mess.

What, what should I do? Look what Paul says in verse 15. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. If your nonbelieving spouse is insistent upon divorce and wanting to desert you, wanting to leave you, then Paul says don't fight them on that, just let them go.

He then says the brother. Or the sister is not under bondage in such cases. Now folks, you want to underline the words under bondage because this is another one of those issues that there are various interpretations on. There is a certain range where everyone agrees on a certain range of meaning.

Here, everyone agrees that what Paul is saying is that the brother or sister is not under bondage to have to fight to keep the marriage alive, to have to fight to keep married to their nonbelieving spouse. But there are some people. Perhaps even 50% of the commentators you might read who would say that when Paul says the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, that what he's saying is he is allowing for remarriage. He would say you need to let your spouse go, and I want you to know you're not under bondage to that spouse anymore.

The marriage union has been totally and utterly broken, and therefore you are free. to remarry if that is what you want to do. All right, just understand that there are commentators who advocate that point of view that remarriage is acceptable in a case such as this where a nonbelieving spouse deserves a believing spouse, but there are also formidable commentators that strongly disagree with this view and say that that is not at all what Paul is talking about in this particular context anyway.

In fact, I would lean not dogmatically towards the view that when Paul says that the brother sister is not under bondage, that he is not allowing my view is that he is not necessarily allowing remarriage here, and part of my reasoning would be twofold basically.

First of all, It doesn't really seem to jibe with the context. In verse 15, if he says, Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother sister is not under bondage. Therefore, the brother sister is free to remarry in such cases.

But God has called us to peace. That it just doesn't seem like Paul is going there in his mind now. God may allow remarriage in a case like this, but I just, just contextually, in the flow of thought, it just seems like you're maybe taking it a little further than what Paul would intend. In what he says here in this verse, let me give you one other possible objection to this view.

I'm not trying to persuade anybody. Please understand that, but I'm saying if you do take the view that Paul's wording in verse 15 allows for remarriage, if that is your view, you at least want to factor this thinking in. OK, what I'm about to share, I imagine. That Jesus were talking to the nonbelieving spouse.

All right, just hypothetically imagine that Jesus is sitting down with your nonbelieving spouse. Imagine you're married to a nonbeliever, right? Your nonbelieving spouse is wanting to divorce you, all right, and Jesus is talking to your nonbelieving spouse and Jesus says to your nonbelieving spouse, What are you wanting to do? Your nonbelieving spouse says, Well, I want to divorce so and so.

Jesus would say, Why? What is your reason? And your nonbelieving spouse says, Well, I want a divorce because they're a Christian. That's my reason.

Now let me ask you, based on Matthew 5 and the exception clause, is that a legitimate exception? Does God allow for divorce if you just don't like your spouse because they're a Christian? So we can remove any possible exceptions here and God, the question is what would Jesus then say to your nonbelieving spouse? What would he say to your nonbelieving spouse who says, I want to divorce my spouse because they're a Christian?

Now these are all quotes from what Jesus says in the Gospel. Regarding marriage, divorce, and remarriage, and look at these statements. Number one, Jesus says whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality and marries another woman commits adultery. We can eliminate this exception because there's no immorality that's going on.

They simply want to divorce you because you're a Christian. All right. So Jesus would not Jesus say to your nonbelieving spouse, if you divorce your wife, And you marry another woman. You are committing adultery.

Would Jesus say that to your nonbelieving spouse? Would he say that? How many of you would say yes, he would say that? The answer is yes.

OK, he would say that. He would say that to your nonbelieving spouse in that situation. All right, look at the other statements. Everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity makes her commit adultery.

In other words, when she goes and remarries another individual, he causes her now to commit adultery. Now folks, if you take your train of thought and you begin it in the statements of Jesus, And what he says regarding this issue, here's my thinking. Jesus would say to my nonbelieving spouse, If you leave, if you leave your spouse and you go remarry, you've committed adultery. Now if Jesus would say that to the nonbelieving husband or wife in a situation like this, and he says, If you remarry, you've committed adultery, why does he say you're committing adultery unless it is true that something of the marital union still persists.

You can't commit adultery against someone that you're not married to. Do you understand that? Jesus is saying that union still persists and folks, if Jesus would say to the nonbelieving husband, If you divorce your believing spouse and go marry another, you're committing adultery because the marital union. still persist, then my inclination is that if that marital union still persists and it's adultery for the nonbelieving spouse to go remarry, would it not be wrong and adulterous for even the believing spouse to then remarry because the marital union still persists now.

Hopefully I didn't sound too dogmatic in the way that I said that. There are commentators that would disagree with what I've just said, and they would say, yes, Jesus says all of this. However, in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, God in His grace is stepping in and is saying something actually that's slightly different than what Jesus says, and God is allowing a special exception in this particular case, all right? And there are godly, just men of God and commentators and scholars who would.

Say that in 1 Corinthians 7, if a believer is deserted by a nonbelieving spouse, then they're not bound to that marriage any longer and they are free to remarry. So just know that that is a possible, view and it is held by a number of godly people, but it is not the view that I personally hold, OK? But anyway, as we look at verse 16, Paul now gives, look at the end of verse 15, he says, here's the guiding principle here if you're. spouse wants to stay with you, then by all means stay with them.

If they want a divorce, then let them go. Look at the end of verse 15. God has called us to peace. This is the operative principle here, and that is whatever ends up making for peace, then follow that course of action.

If your spouse wants you to stay with them, then do the peaceful thing and stay with them and try to have a great marriage and try to influence them for the Lord and be the best wife and husband you can possibly be. However, if your spouse is wanting to leave you, don't fight. Be a source of irritation to them. Let them go and follow the course or the path of peace, because that's what God has called us to.

He's called us to peace, and that is the highest calling. So that is the standard that ought to guide your behavior. Now look at verse 16. He says something that's the reverse of verse 14.

He says, For how do, O wife, whether you will save your husband? or how do, O husband, whether you will save your wife? Paul is saying some of you, you're holding on to your marriage, saying no, I'm going to stay with my spouse. I'm against divorce and, and the Lord's going to use me to lead them to the Lord.

I want them to observe my submissive and chaste and respectful behavior and so that I can lead them to Christ one day, and that's my burden, that's my goal, that's my ministry, and so I'm going to stay with them. Meanwhile they're irritating their spouse and their spouse says, get out of my face. I don't want to see you ever again. Again, stop showing up at my doorstep.

Leave me alone. I want the marriage over. Paul is saying, Hey, in the first place, how do that God is even going to save your spouse? #1.

Number 2, how do that you're going to be the one that he's going to use to save your spouse? He may, but he may not. But don't hold on to that illusion or to that vision or expectation. and say I got to stay married because I know God's going to save my spouse and I know it's going to be through me.

When you look at what Paul says in verse 14 and verse 16, you see the balance. He's saying, if your spouse wants to stay married to you, stay married to your nonbelieving spouse because you will have a sanctifying effect upon them, and God will use you in a great way in their lives. But if they don't want to be married to you, they want nothing to do with you, and they want to leave, then let them go and keep in mind that the truth is you don't really know that God is going to save.

Them anyway, and you don't know that it's going to be through you.

let me ask you to bow your heads. When you look at the teaching of Jesus, And begin your train of thought there, you see something of the, the weightiness and the permanence of the marital union. And I don't know about you, but like if I were single. In light of all of this, I would be thinking I had better make the right choice when I choose a spouse.

I had better be completely yielded to the Lord, seeking counsel from my brothers and sisters and spiritual leaders, because when I choose a spouse, it's for life and I, I want to make the right choice. And so if you're single here to really think long and hard about that and to to follow the Lord. And be submitted to his leading. If you're here tonight and there's been failure in your past, even divorce in your past.

I can't tell you how much I hurt for you. Sin is a great complicator. It complicates things. But I know that God's grace is sufficient.

God's grace abounds, and there's forgiveness where forgiveness is needed, and there is provision. For life and for godliness in whatever circumstances in which you find yourself. To where you can overwhelmingly triumph, not just survive, but triumph overwhelmingly in the station of life where you find yourself right now. If you are married, don't mess up your marriage.

Don't seek a divorce. Don't do anything that will serve to fray apart the marriage. Do only those things that will strengthen the bond. And we need to encourage this in one another.

My calling is not just to tend to my own marriage, but to be encouraging others in the body to have godly and healthy marriage relationships. And let's all be an encouragement to each other in this way. But take a moment to speak to the Lord and make whatever commitments to Him that the Spirit of God is leading you to make. Lord, your word is a heavy thing that Often is an encouragement and a source of nourishment to us.

Other times it just really sits on us very heavily. And does not make us feel good sometimes. At times it may sober us. It may scare us.

It may make us feel guilty, but all of that is the work of your gracious hand. And may we, Lord, all of us who are children of yours, may we know that we are justified ones. And being justified ones, your grace through everything, through Your word and through circumstances, your grace at every turn is always abounding toward us. Orchestrating absolutely everything that comes our way through your word and otherwise to do us good.

And to bless us and to beautify us. May we, Lord, live inside of this grace in which we stand. And continue to keep ourselves connected to the transforming power of the gospel. As we go forth into the days of this coming week, may we flesh out these saving realities that belong to us in Christ through the good news of the gospel.

That we would be transformed daily in the days of this week, that you would do mighty things in us and through us, Lord, as we continue to work our way through 1 Corinthians, just pray that You would give us open hearts that are ready and willing to receive all that you have for us. As difficult as it may be. Give to me wisdom. Give to all of us wisdom, Lord, as we seek to understand the best we can with the grace that you provide.

everything that you want us to have right now through 1 Corinthians. There may be some things in this book you don't want us to have right now, and it may be beyond our grasp and our ability to understand and settle, but may we receive. With open hearts, everything you do want us to have from this book right now at this time. Continue to correct us and to guide us, to rebuke us, to encourage us and to affirm us as we week by week continue to plot our way through this remarkable book.

We give ourselves to You, Lord. We love Jesus and we know we love Him because He first loved us, and we thank you for the gift of your Son, the forgiveness and the grace of life that is found in Him. We give ourselves to You, Lord, in the name of Jesus, and all God's people said, Amen.